I Spent Years Running From Embarassment, But It’s The Reason I’m Still Going
Letter To Myself: As Many Times As It Takes
It’s embarrassing.
It’s embarrassing to fall short.
It’s embarrassing to fail.
It’s embarrassing to fail to reach the standard you’d set for yourself.
Or worse, the standard you’d told others you’d reach.
It’s embarrassing to flake on your word.
It’s embarrassing to give in to your vices whilst knowing better — at the cost of productivity.
I hate the feeling of falling short.
I hate the feeling of breaking a guarantee.
I hate the feeling of being unable to honour my commitments.
I’m certain everyone does.
It’s embarrassing.
However, that’s all it is.
It’s just embarrassing.
It’s just a feeling.
Understand It’s On You
Listen me,
You shouldn’t even be in a situation where you have to break a guarantee.
Nor, feel like you’re falling short.
Nor, be unable to honour your commitment.
Those embarrassing but avoidable situations shouldn’t occur.
Because nine times out of ten, YOU allowed them to happen.
Whether that’s the fruit of your poor discipline, poor time management, or failure to prioritise.
It’s on you.
You’re the reason you’re facing that embarrassment.
But,
That isn’t a get-out clause.
Not at all.
You don’t get to give up on your commitments just because you're a little red in the face.
You don’t get to abandon your purpose just because you failed to take a few steps.
Yes, they’re unacceptable.
They’re inexcusable.
They were failures that were wholly avoidable, yet you willingly jumped into their line of fire.
You welcomed that embarrassment with open arms and a warm embrace.
So, what makes you think that gives you licence to give-in?
The answer is nothing.
Go and make up for every step you missed.
Even if it’s ugly.
Even if you take on more embarrassment.
Even if you have to lower yourself to make it right.
I don’t care if you have to walk back with your tail between your legs.
So be it.
It’s worth it.
Try.
As many times as it takes.
Feelings Aren’t Forever
If it takes feeling embarrassed to get where you need to go.
To honour your commitments.
To stay true to your word.
To stop yourself from falling short.
To uphold your guarantees.
To do what’s best for you.
Then, so be it.
We’ll do it as many times as it takes.
We’ll be embarrassed a million times.
We’ll feel discomfort a million times.
We’ll say no to what we want to do a million times.
We’ll sacrifice a million times.
And even if we fall short, it’s fine.
It’s okay to fail at trying.
It’s not to fail from giving in without a fight.
Because you can try again as many times as it takes.
Even if you’re embarrassed, you can still try.
Even if you’re uncomfortable, you can still try.
Even if you’re denying your wants, you can still try.
Even if you have to sacrifice, you can still try.
But when you fail from giving in?
If you’re embarrassed and refuse to fight, you will never try again.
The same follows if you’re uncomfortable, unable to deny your wants, or unable to sacrifice.
You will never try again.
If you want to pursue anything for life, you must pledge this:
I will continue as many times as it takes.
I will try as many times as it takes.
Even if it’s hard.
Even if it’s uncomfortable.
Even if it’s embarrassing.
Continue.
It’s worth the pain.
LM
Thank you for reading!
American psychologist Alok Konojia, or ‘HealthyGamerGG’, says:
“The absence of reflection is the reason you’re stuck.”
To solidify our growth, let’s reflect:
Petrichor’s 1-Minute Reflection:
- How did you feel before reading?
- How did you feel whilst reading?
- Do you feel any different now that you’ve finished?
- What is your one takeaway from reading this?