Summary

Nia Simone McLeod found joy in solitude by spending her 26th birthday alone on a solo weekend getaway, which reminded her of the value of self-company and creativity.

Abstract

For her 26th birthday, Nia Simone McLeod chose to spend the weekend alone in a hotel room, an experience that rekindled her love for solitude and creativity. She reveled in the simple pleasures of her surroundings, from the comfort of a king-sized bed to the joy of exploring the city on her own terms. The getaway allowed her to engage in activities she enjoyed without external pressures, such as writing, exploring, and singing karaoke. McLeod reflects on the importance of having a "bliss station," a concept by Joseph Campbell, which is a dedicated space or time for creative incubation without the intrusions of daily life. She identifies her own "bliss station" as the morning hours, where she finds peace in routine and solitude, which she plans to incorporate into her life more regularly to foster her creativity.

Opinions

McLeod values the freedom and joy that comes from being alone and engaging in hobbies without external validation or judgment.
She acknowledges the difficulty of expressing herself freely through her art in a capitalist society that often prioritizes profit and virality over personal satisfaction.
The author appreciates the concept of a "bliss station" as a means to disconnect from societal pressures and focus on personal creativity and growth.
McLeod intends to create more opportunities for solitude and creative expression, recognizing the importance of silence and solitude in the artistic process.
She cherishes the morning as a sacred time for herself, where she can center her thoughts and prepare for the day's creative work.

I Spent My Birthday Alone And Absolutely Loved It

How disconnecting from the outside world helped me find joy

For my 26th birthday, I gifted myself a solo weekend getaway across town. It was the first time I had been alone, overnight, in over a year. Ten minutes in, I was in love — and I understood why Maya Angelou chose to rent a hotel room just for writing in.

I enjoyed each part of the room: the king-sized bed enveloped in white sheets, a complimentary Bluetooth speaker shaped like a cube, a window that peeked into the city streets, where the sun kissed my forehead good morning and the moon tucked me in at night.

The two days I spent in a hotel room reminded me how in love I am with my own company. I’ve always valued my alone time, ever since I was a kid. Maybe this comfort with being alone stems from having hobbies that no one cared to discuss (i.e. writing).

As a result, I spent a lot of time entertaining myself, alone. There, I can let my true self run free without fear of judgment from others — a fear that used to horrify me into paralysis.

I did everything I’d been wanting to do for months during my getaway. I ate two delicious bowls of overpriced ramen. I spent a day exploring the city on foot with only Google Maps as my guide, racking up 20,000 steps. I sang karaoke.

I barely wrote. I had so many other activities I wanted to pack into these two days, that I mostly forgot about the craft. But, the next time I go on another solo getaway, I want to dedicate some time to explore my creativity.

In our C.R.E.A.M (cash rules everything around me), capitalist hellscape of a society, I’ve found it difficult to freely express myself through my art as an adult.

As a child, I wrote with only joy (and my adoration for whatever male pop star I was obsessed with) as my North star. In adulthood, pressures weigh heavily on my shoulders, whether from:

the possibility of making a profit
trying to go viral (yuck)
appeasing certain people (could be my “audience”, could be my family, could be my friends, it really just depends)

I’ve been searching for a comfortable, safe space to create for a while, a place where those pressures, and many others, are far, far away from my mind.

In his book Keep Going, author Austin Kleon provides a suggestion from professor Joseph Campbell, who said that everyone should build a “bliss station”:

You must have a room, or a certain hour or so a day, where you don’t know what was in the newspapers that morning, you don’t know who your friends are, you don’t know what you owe anybody, you don’t know what anybody owes to you.

Campbell continues:

This is a place where you can simply experience and bring forth what you are and what you might be. This is the place of creative incubation. At first you may find that nothing happens there. But if you have a sacred place and use it, something eventually will happen.

Kleon explains the important, yet difficult nature of doing so in today’s technologically-driven society, “Silence and solitude are crucial. Our modern world of push notifications, 24/7 news cycles, and constant contact is almost inhospitable to the kind of retreat artists must make in order to focus deeply on their work.”

Even though I haven’t subconsciously delegated this time as my “bliss station”, I’d say mine is the morning — hands down. Every element calms me: watching the sunrise, making breakfast, drinking a cup of steaming green tea.

But, mostly, what centers me is being alone. That’s what sheds the stress from my shoulders and gets me ready to create. Being in a hotel room stretches that calmness like putty until I’m just slathered in it, smiling from ear to ear.

Somehow, I’m going to make a routine out of this long-term alone time, whether it’s in a hotel room, Airbnb, or a reserved room at the library. Someway, I’ll cancel out all the noise, so it’ll be just me and the words. Just like it used to be.

Originally published in the oh, write newsletter.

Nia Simone McLeod writes, creates digital content, and watches a ton of Flavor of Love reruns. Her Medium publications, oh, write and coiled, are super lit. Check out her newsletter for her scorching hot takes on writing, pop culture, and other super cool stuff.