I Spent 10K on a Manifestation Coach

Here’s what I learned

Have you heard of manifestation? How about the Law of Attraction?

Well, I hadn’t up until one particular sunny March afternoon. It was the spring of 2020 when I decided that my old life no longer resonated with me. At the time, to be honest, I didn’t even know what ‘resonate’ really meant. I didn’t have fancy words like this one in my middle class vocabulary, yet alone comprehending the meaning of it.

After walking around for years like a sour lemon that’s had every ounce of juice squeezed out of it, shrivelled up inside and out, going from one thing to the next, acquiring one shiny object after the next, suffering from anxiety and severe depression; I woke up one day feeling like it was my last day on Earth. Life became a bit too overwhelming.

My mind was disorientated, my soul lifeless, and my body was becoming sick. The void within was agonising. The despair felt like a bullet, size of a watermelon in my chest. I often asked myself, “Where have I gone wrong?” Until one day, on this sunny March afternoon, I decided to break free. After all, what have you got left to lose when you’re already dead inside?

Apart from giving all my personal belonging away, signing my home away, filing for divorce, everything was great. You’re probably thinking, how messed up? And you’re not far off. I was. Indeed, I was very messed up. But not for abandoning my old life and the old way of living. I was messed up and blind for putting up with it for so long.

Becoming the observer of my own reality

It was on this late sunny March afternoon that I first heard the word manifestation. It was in a context I’ve never come across it before. I remember vividly, nodding to a YouTube video by Bob Proctor. I recall him repeating, “You are the creator of your own reality.”

“Am I?” — I asked myself, manically typing away on my phone. The left side of my brain was trying to connect the dots, the rights side was completely lost. If this is true, than I want to know more! I had to know more! How do I create my own reality? The one I want to wake up to every day. The one that is worth living? The one where I don’t feel trapped and lost in every moment? You see, at this point I was desperately trying to escape an abusive relationship, I had $0 in my bank account, and soon to have nowhere to live.

This is where my manifestation journey began.

A year later, I had undergone significant growth. My mind expanded rapidly. It was like it had just undergone a software update. All malware was successfully removed, history and old data deleted. There was nothing left of the old version of ME.

I built many new brain cells, and changed a lot of old wiring. But weirdly enough, it wasn’t like I’d learnt anything new. It felt more like a refresher. As if I had just woken up from amnesia. Every video I watched, every seminar and course I engaged with, every book I read — I felt I knew all the information all along. As if it was all just a gentle reminder.

Then last year, in January 2022, I was finally ready to take my manifestation journey to the next level. Not because I wasn’t manifesting enough, but because I wanted to know more! After reading the book , ‘You are a bad*ss at making money ‘ by Jen Sincero, where the author describes her rather gloomy life in her 40’s as a broke writer, borrowing 80K from a rich relative to sign up to some elite coaching program; I too made the call that it was time to step up.

I was ready to enter phase 2 of my transformation journey. And so who was the best person to help me with it? Bob Proctor Coaching. After a short assessment and handing over a big chunk of my money, I soon became a member of one of the worlds most sought after coaching programs. I knew that my life was never going to be the same again.

I spent early mornings listening to Bob’s audios, brainwashing me into believing that I am more than what I could ever imagine to be. I meditated day and night. I created a vision board, journaled, visualised my dream life. I dedicated every minute to developing a New Me.

The version of me that’s living in my dream reality. I tried to remain positive, and surround myself with only ‘high vibe’ people; that were my 4 and 7 year old at the time, and of course my dog. I left all my old friends behind. ‘Resonance’ became my middle name. If you didn’t resonate, you were simply not welcome in the private circle of, well Me.

I worked tirelessly on positivity and focusing on the right things. I became the watcher of my own thoughts and observer of this reality. But after only two months being part of this unique circle, I decided to abandon Bob Proctor Coaching.

Not because I wasn’t manifesting enough, in fact, I wasn’t manifesting anything at all. The more I worked on my positive thinking, the more I visualised and journaled, the more brainwashed I was becoming, the further my ‘dreams’ were getting. On top of that, there was this inner voice. As if it was saying, “There’s nothing more left for you to see here.”

I remember making the call to say the course wasn’t for me, expecting to pour my heart out and give my honest feedback or something; but no, no one cared. No questions asked, no interest taken. I always wondered, is this really it? You take someone’s money, you sell video and sound recordings that are at least 30 years old, email the poor buggers with the odd high vibe message every once in a while, and that’s it. Your job as a coach is done?

I bet you’re laughing now, and I am laughing with you. Silly, naive girl or more like IDIOT, was the best way to describe me. But after giving up Bob Proctors coaching, things started to change. Yes, I was pissed off with myself for falling for such a ‘scam’. But, you live and learn.

After spending some time in deep introspection, I stopped forcing positive thinking, I stopped journaling, in fact, I stopped chasing my dreams altogether. Instead I just learnt to be. I had a house, food on the table, a car, happy and healthy kids, and a sweet old dog. And most importantly, after 15 years, I finally escaped from my brutal relationship. What more could I ask for? I was grateful for everything I had. And even though I was yet to ‘manifest’ the £2.5 million I put on my vision board, I was ok.

Why did I abandon a 10K coaching program and was it a big mistake?

Was the coaching program worth it? — Definitely. Would I recommend you do it? — only if you feel like you need it. If you lack basic knowledge of how your mind works (and I mean how it really works), and the power of your focus, than Yes, go for it. Prior to discovering ‘manifestation’ and the ‘Law of Attraction’, I didn’t even know I had a choice. I didn’t know how to make decisions or that most things were totally within my control. I was completely oblivious to my thought patterns and to the beliefs that were ruling my life.

The sad thing is, that everything I learnt in those two months, I already knew. I needed to spend £10K to be reminded that indeed my gut feeling, my inner voice was right all along. What’s even more sad, is that I’m not alone. There are hundreds of millions of people on this planet who are as oblivious to the power that lies within them, as I was. We are made to believe that there’s only one way of living. That we need likes and claps for validation. We need money, love, power to be worthy of — What? To be happy? To be free?

Despite abandoning the course only two months into it, it helped me connect with my intuition even more. The strong sense I had during listening to those audiobooks and recordings, I knew something was missing. What was missing? The soul. Chasing money, love, a big house, fancy car is never going to make you happy. Can you ‘manifest’ them with just visualising and journaling, probably not. Taking inspired action however will always bring you some results.

What I discovered and why I left this program was that I wasn’t really after the riches. My main focus was never the money. Deep down, all I wanted was to free myself from the control and the mind games of my narcissist ex. The brutal abuse I let him put me through for 15 long years.

Today, I can wholeheartedly say, that I ‘manifested’ this. Everything I wished for, materialised and fell into place better than I had ever expected. Never forget, the Universe works in mysterious ways. Sometimes, you get what you want, but it will always give you what you need.

Forever grateful to Bob Proctor and my inner voice.

Do you have a story about manifestation? Please share in the comments with me.

Thank you for reading.

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