I Seized My Teachable Moment and Confronted Racism
I talked to my daughter about unconscious bias in front of a racist woman in Walmart…and I taught the woman a lesson, too.
As a Black woman, it is not uncommon for me to ask a salesperson if I can help them as they follow me around a store. Nor is it uncommon to write letter or make telephone calls to businesses after a racial encounter with employees. It is actually a common thing for me to do because racism in all forms is very much alive today.
I have been forced to take legal action against an employer who thought that it was okay to pay white men with less experience and less education than I had more money than they paid me for doing the same job. I have been forced to stop patronizing a popular establishment for repeatedly and strategically placing a security officer at the metal detector near the exit every time I walked out of the store.
The incidents of racial injustices that I have had to fight against and endure throughout my life could potentially fill volumes of books and hours of videos. There are not enough words to describe such degrading encounters that I have been forced to navigate.
However, the incident that took place a few days ago was different.
My Indirect Confrontation With A Racist
My 14 year old daughter and I searched a few isles at Walmart looking for a much needed gymnastics supply. Many white people passed by a white woman who looked for a specialty item as well. I saw them. As the woman pushed her grocery cart with her purse sitting in it, she remained very focused as she searched section after section. She obviously felt very comfortable in the predominantly White Walmart because she trusted the other shoppers who passed by her because they looked like her. Even though she was really concentrating as she compared the products she was interested in, something within her became
very automatic and programmed
when my daughter and I approached her.
Once she saw us walking toward her grocery cart, she quickly grabbed her purse and held it against her body very tightly as she continued looking at the items on the shelf.
Because one Black woman and one young Black teenage girl were slowly moving near her, her feelings of suspicion, fear, and distrust began to manifest. Her emotional response was to quickly assume a protective disposition.
This is what
unconscious bias
is all about. It is a subtle form of racism. The pathetic woman assumed that my daughter and I would steal her purse. She did not have any concerns about the White people who passed by her unattended purse. The woman only developed the concern for her property when we walked closer to her because of the color of our skin.
I could not allow this teachable moment to pass by my daughter because of the need to continuously prepare her to live in the racist nation that has historically and currently exists. (I remain hopeful that conditions will change for the better though.)
While just a few feet away from the shopper and close enough for her to clearly see and hear me, I immediately stopped our cart and I stopped our search. I reviewed what the woman did by making my daughter realize that the woman became afraid that we would steal her purse and that she was not concerned about it until we approached. The brief conversation that I had with my daughter helped her to understand the significance of the Black Lives Matters Movement as I related it to the murder of Mr. George Floyd and so many other Black men and women who has been murdered due to police brutality. I needed to let my daughter know that there are some people who are racist just like the woman was who stood in front of us.
The woman simply ignored us as if we were not there. There was no acknowledgment that she heard us either. (I know that she did.)
Invisibility is also a form of racism.
Maybe this woman will now think about the appropriateness of her nonverbal response to Black people who she encounters in the future. Perhaps she thought about this as we nearly left Walmart around the same time.
It’s time for people to stop judging others based upon the color of their skin.
Happiness Is Where Our Story Ends
The tough conversation with my daughter in front of the racist woman was needed immediately after the incident happened. However, the best part of our story continued.
The discussion that I started in Walmart continued once we got into our car. My daughter and I had a chance to talk and think about all of the beautiful people in our lives who have hearts fill with unconditional acceptance and love.
For my daughter, she has been surrounded by countless White teachers, coaches, friends and their families, and pastors who have been among the most beautiful human beings in her life.
I invite you to join me by uniting together to create change in this area. Be sure to sign up to be on my email list at [email protected] to receive a periodic copy of my newsletter and specific information about advancing the
Ignite Family Engagement Movement.
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Dr. Deborah M. Vereen is a retired Family and Consumer Sciences Teacher, School Principal, Director of Pupil Personnel Services, Assistant to the Superintendent for Family and Community Engagement, and Professor of Multicultural Education. Her website is www.Drdeborahmvereen.com and she is dedicating the rest of her life to serving as a Family Engagement Influencer.
