avatarVeronica Llorca-Smith

Summary

The author, a European manager in Shanghai, initially scolded a Chinese colleague for sleeping at her desk, a common practice in China, and later came to understand and appreciate the cultural difference.

Abstract

The author recounts an incident where they reprimanded a Chinese colleague for sleeping at her desk, a behavior they initially perceived as lazy and unprofessional from a Western perspective. Over time, as they immersed themselves in Chinese culture and traveled extensively within the country, they learned that midday napping is a culturally accepted way to recharge, especially given long commutes. The author reflects on the importance of cultural agility, the necessity of unlearning preconceived notions, and the humility required to recognize and grow from cultural misunderstandings. They emphasize that cultural differences are not about better or worse practices, but rather about different ways of living that should be approached with an open mind.

Opinions

  • The author initially judged the assistant's behavior through their own cultural lens, considering it rude and unprofessional.
  • After experiencing Chinese culture firsthand, the author realized that sleeping at the desk is a common and accepted practice in China.
  • The author acknowledges the mistake of assuming their own cultural norms were superior without seeking to understand the local customs.
  • The author stresses the importance of cultural agility, which involves actively unlearning, observing without judgment, and embracing new cultural practices.
  • The author believes that mistakes in cultural understanding are inevitable but should be met with curiosity, humility, and maturity to foster personal growth.
  • The author concludes that cultural differences should not be evaluated on a scale of better or worse, but rather recognized as simply different.

I Scolded My Chinese Colleague For Sleeping On Her Desk

My cultural fail in China

Picture of the author in Shanghai

Culture shock

My first job was as a manager of a European logistics company in Shanghai. I was hungry, driven, and eager to get results. I had a fancy office overlooking the famous Yuyuan Garden and the world was my oyster.

One day, shortly after I had started working, I came back from a business lunch. As I returned to the office, I noticed the assistant, a girl from Shanghai, was sleeping, resting her arms on her head. Coming from a Western world, I was horrified.

‘What would clients think?’

‘How lazy of her!’

‘This is so rude and disrespectful!’

I had all these judgments, and without a warning or a conversation, I scolded her and asked her not to sleep in the office again. I said it was rude and unprofessional. She blushed and apologized. She never slept again on the desk, and I never gave it much thought.

Shanghai became home for a few years. I visited dozens of cities, from Hangzhou to Suzhou, the Chinese Venice. I traveled to Wenzhou and up north to Tianjin and Dalian. I walked along the Chinese Wall, both in Beijing and in the west in the Gobi desert. I saw baby Pandas in Chengdu and met Muslim Chinese for the first time in Xinjiang province.

Unlearning the learning

Traveling and seeing China taught me many things about Chinese culture, Feng Shui, and dining etiquette. I also discovered that sleeping on the desk is common practice in China. People have long commutes to the office, and that’s their resting time. Many use their lunch break to take a nap and recharge. I realized it as I visited clients and agents and saw how the offices turned into improvised nap stations during lunchtime, and no one blinked an eye.

Unlike in the West, where sleeping is considered very private, in China (and many other Asian countries), it’s very much a public activity. People sleep in the subway, in restaurants, libraries, and even standing.

I realized I had blamed my colleague for her culture because I thought mine was better.

I never asked. I just assumed.

‘You think you’re thinking your own thoughts. You’re not. You’re thinking your culture’s thoughts.’ — Jiddu Krishnamurti, Philosopher.

Learning cultural agility is hard. It’s not a holiday in a resort or reading a Lonely Planet guide. It’s living the culture daily, unlearning what we know, removing our cultural lens, and observing a new way of doing things without judging. Mistakes are bound to be made and we must be curious enough to recognize them, humble enough to apologize and mature enough to grow from them.

Different is not better or worse. It’s just different.

“I write to right”

Let’s connect on Linkedin and Twitter or subscribe here to my free newsletter, The Lemon Tree Mindset to grow your personal brand and unleash your true potential.

China
Culture
Travel
Culture Shock
Chinese Culture
Recommended from ReadMedium
avatarCraig K. Collins
The Pickpocket and Me

Vultures, vultures everywhere!

8 min read
avatarUnseen Japan
New VTuber Bar Opens First Location in Tokyo

Would you go out to drink with your favorite VTuber (virtual YouTuber)? We paid a visit to a new bar in Tokyo’s Ikebukuro.

6 min read
avatarLand of the Rising Monkey
One Day in Tokyo

With only one day in Japan’s capitol, what should you do?

7 min read
avatarGeo Snelling
On Almost Killing Myself by Accident

A holiday beach put me in my place.

7 min read
avatarKabilan Thavabalalingam
Solo Travelling Will Lead To Personal Growth

Experience Spending Time Alone In A New Environment

3 min read
avatarRocco Pendola
There’s No Good Reason Why Los Angeles Is Overly ‘Dependent’ On Cars

Many of the things people say about LA are simply wrong

7 min read