I Said Yes to Less

I’m going on an adventure!

As a young teenager in the early ’90s, weekends were spent sleeping over at my best friend’s house, watching movies, eating Skittles, and dreaming of the grown-up life.

Maybe it would be in the big city. Perhaps we’d have some significant career? Certainly, someone would sweep us off our feet and love us forever.

That’s what all those romantic comedies promised, anyway.

There’s this scene in When Harry Met Sally (1989) where Sally describes the end of her last relationship. Her conversation with Harry goes like this:

Sally:

“When Joe and I started seeing each other, we wanted exactly the same thing. We wanted to live together, but we didn’t want to get married because every time anyone we knew got married, it ruined their relationship”

“We’d say we were so lucky we have this wonderful relationship; we can have sex on the kitchen floor and not worry about the kids walking in. We can fly off to Rome at a moment’s notice.”

“And then one day, I was taking Alice’s little girl for the afternoon — she looked out the window, and she saw this man and this woman with these two little kids and she said, ‘I spy a family.’ I started to cry.”

“I went home, and I said, ‘The thing is, Joe, we never do fly off to Rome on a moment’s notice.’”

Harry:

“And the kitchen floor?”

Sally [sadly]:

“Not once. It’s this very cold, hard Mexican ceramic tile.”

I was in my early teens when I first saw this movie. It stuck with me that if I ever had the chance to run off to Rome or have random kitchen sex, I would do it! Why waste an opportunity like that? (In hindsight, my naivete is adorable. What did I know at 14?)

Then came adulthood and falling into the mainstream of doing what we think we should do. Good stuff happens, bad stuff happens, and I’ve never been to Rome.

I don’t even have Mexican ceramic tile.

Am I Even an Adult?

I started questioning if the “mainstream life” felt right for me. Then a pandemic hits, and we all are forced into that hard look inward. We are grateful for our health and survival; for the small roads that led us to where we are, and the privilege of even thinking about these things.

It came down to this one question:

What are we waiting for?

What were Sally and Joe waiting for that kept them from going to Rome and semi-enjoying that Mexican tile? It’s not like someone knocks on our door and says: “It’s time! Pack your bags!”

It’s a hard truth (even though it is so obvious) that there is no magic wand to make things happen the way we thought things would. This is the reality of adulting — figuring it out for ourselves and then making it happen. We have to make it happen.

While contemplating what work should look like for me and being stuck at home a lot these past few years, I started saving my pennies. I wasn’t going anywhere anyway. I started thinking about retiring.

I’m 45 years old.

Realistically speaking, I am not of retirement age, nor am I financially able to stop working/earning a regular income. But I knew I wanted to have less demand on my time.

I wanted to decide where all my mental energy went.

What Could I Do?

Could I semi-retire? Maybe. (Probably not.)

Could I experiment to see what semi-retirement feels like? Absolutely.

I went part-time at my job. I started writing more (and no, I’m not making big bucks on Medium, but I enjoy getting into the writing habit). I fell into some consulting work that I love, which pays well.

When a couple of friends asked me to join them on a month-long Arizona adventure, I considered going along. We are all married without children and have work flexibility. We live in the Midwest USA, and a winter month in the Southwest is always a fantasy.

So I said yes.

Yes, to adventure. Yes, to semi-retirement among the older population that goes to Arizona in the winter.

Yes, to DOING LESS and spending time my way.

Mexican Tile, Here I Come

I get on a plane tomorrow. I cannot wait to try new things, write even more, take some naps, go on hikes, eat some good food, and plan out the rest of my semi-retirement, wherever it leads.

I acknowledge the privilege of this adventure and will use it to its total capacity.

For you, my Traveling Money readers: I’ll keep you posted! Join me on this adventure as we get to more in life by doing less.

I’ll let you know if the house we rented in Arizona has Mexican ceramic tile.