Summary

The author humorously announces their "resignation" from the possibility of being hired by Twitter, citing the departure of Jack Dorsey, SEO opportunities, and the potential impact on Twitter's team as reasons for their decision.

Abstract

In a satirical article, the author addresses an imaginary relationship with Twitter, where they claim to have not been hired by the company over 16 years. They use the recent resignation of Twitter's former CEO, Jack Dorsey, as a catalyst for their own mock resignation, highlighting the importance of transparency and their preference to work with companies that align with their values. The author also acknowledges the potential SEO benefits of writing about a high-profile resignation to drive traffic to their own social media profiles. Despite the tongue-in-cheek tone, the author expresses a fondness for Twitter and its team, suggesting that their nonexistent role at the company has influenced their literary work on the platform.

Opinions

The author values transparency in a company, which they feel Twitter currently lacks, and is a significant factor in their decision to "resign."
They believe that riding the wave of SEO by writing about trending topics, such as Jack Dorsey's resignation, is an effective strategy to increase visibility and drive traffic to personal profiles.
The author playfully suggests that their hypothetical hiring at Twitter would have a positive impact on the team, yet respects the company's past decisions to not bring them on board.
Despite the satirical nature of the article, there is an underlying affection for Twitter and its employees, as evidenced by the author's continued engagement with the platform through their literary work.
The author uses humor and irony to underscore the challenges of getting hired by a major tech company and to reflect on the influence of such companies on individual creators.

I Resigned from (Getting Hired by) Twitter

Pretty sure no one has heard about it

Hello team (I never was part of),

After 16 years of not having a role at your company … from not being an intern to not being promoted to not being a manager to not being hired … I decided it was finally time for me to quit trying.

Why?

There’s a lot to talk about the importance of a company hiring me. Unfortunately, you believe that’s severely limiting and a single point of failure. You’ve worked hard to ensure Twitter can break away from hiring me.

Yet, I didn’t give up for 16 years.

There are 3 reasons I believe now is the right time to resign from getting hired by Twitter.

The first is that @jack resigned from Twitter

He tweeted his resignation email. I can email you the tweets if needed (you have to subscribe to my newsletter.)

In his resignation letter, Jack wishes “Twitter Inc to be the most transparent company in the world.” Meaning it’s not.

I don’t want to work for such a company, especially after my experience as a writer on Medium.

Transparency is of utmost importance to me; and my followers. That’s why I regularly post photoshopped screenshots of my earnings.

The second is SEO

Jack Dorsey resigned from Twitter yesterday. I’m already late, but with luck, I still can ride the wave and drive traffic to my profiles on Medium, Twitter, Quora, and Instagram, by writing a fake resignation letter from getting hired by Twitter.

Never underestimate the power of external traffic, people! Especially when it’s related to resigning from a high position like the CEO of Twitter.

Who knows? Jack himself could click on the link. (Hi jack!)

The third is all of you (working at Twitter)

You have a lot of ambition and potential on this team. Hiring me would change that. I think it would change it in a good way. For sixteen years, you cared to disagree.

That’s fair.

I’m sweet and sour about this decision, but it doesn’t mean I won’t keep loving you, Twitter folks. Even as I’m resigning from getting hired by Twitter, you have a special place in my Twitter literary work.

smillew

PS: I’m tweeting this article. I want to help Jack accomplish his transparency wish. Hi mom and dad!

PPS: I would hate to leave you without a CTA

Welcome, Reader!

Thanks for dropping by, stay as long as you want :-)

smillewrahcuef.medium.com