I Received my First ‘Fan’ Letter — It Brought Me to Tears
Then it healed me.
First, Some Context I recently started writing again — recently, as in nine days ago — for the first time in twenty years. Over the past two decades I co-founded seven companies and experienced many career highs:
- Moving out of my parent’s basement
- Co-founding my first business
- Incorporating my first company
- Operating a company of equals through idea meritocracy
- Landing my first recurring revenue client
- Hiring my first employee
- Purchasing my first car
- Purchasing my first home
- Crossing $1mm in sales
- Purchasing my dream home
- The birth of the children of my employees
- Co-founding 6 other companies
- You get the idea
I started writing for therapy — despite my “accomplishments” I feel like a failure — I’ve failed to establish meaningful relationships — I’ve failed to be a great listener — I’ve failed to be a great partner, sibling, cousin, son, friend — I’ve failed to have children — I’ve been unable to help those I love know that everything will be okay.
I’ve been chasing something in my former careers that would never come: my True Self. The self that hears, smells, tastes, touches, and feels life — instead of racing through it trying to hoist up the next trophy.
Today I begin a new journey — the only one that matters — to find my voice, dance in the rain and feel the glowing warmth of meaningful love and lasting friendship.
I will now learn from, dance with and join for the very first time a community of authentic, healing, challenging and forgiving souls — I am unworthy and eternally grateful that you found me — that you see me, the real me.
The letter that brought me to tears and gave me more joy and purpose in a single day than 20-years of chasing someone I was not:
In response to my poem: Coming Undone? 5-Steps to Overcome Sadness
With my “Fan’s” permission:
“As a mother and as a teacher I wish you could find a way to share your gift with young people — high school students. I only wish I could have connected you with my daughter then. Reading your poem brought back all the memories of her struggle and reading your poem made me think “I wish, I knew you then.” You are an amazing young man, a positive role model for young people in a world full of negativity, hopelessness and sadness.“ — JS
I still can’t believe someone else wants to hear what I have to say — I have a fan — how cool is that!
Today might be the single most meaningful and healing day of my life.
Thank you to my fan, for your unbelievable kindness —for healing me — I have no words.
. . .
For added emotion, reread the piece while listening to Lady Gaga (2018). Heal Me.