I Put The Fun in Functional Addict

Summary

The website content is a humorous and irreverent collection of personal anecdotes, musings, and satirical commentary on everyday life, ranging from personal habits to societal observations.

Abstract

The content presents a series of lighthearted and often sarcastic reflections under the title "SHOWER THOUGHTS," with subtitles hinting at themes of addiction humor, political satire, and everyday absurdities. It includes personal stories about forgetfulness while high, the juxtaposition of professional achievements with mundane realities, and the ironies of modern life, such as the ease of obtaining medical marijuana versus the challenges of fitting a salad spinner in a cabinet. The author also shares a list of tongue-in-cheek business ideas and pokes fun at the idiosyncrasies of technology, social media behavior, and self-help seminars, all while maintaining a casual and conversational tone.

Opinions

The author playfully suggests that President Biden's reluctance to share his bowling average might be hiding something, implying a humorous distrust in political transparency.
They mock the absurdity of their own behavior when high, such as driving away without their food, and the irony of being considered intelligent by their resume but frugal by their choice of shampoo.
The author questions the logic behind common expressions, like the phrase "when the shit hits the fan," and muses about the efficiency of obtaining medical marijuana.
They critique the overuse of the title "CEO" on LinkedIn by individuals in less prestigious positions and poke fun at the attention-seeking behavior on social media platforms.
The author's "Million Dollar Ideas" section is filled with humorous and pun-filled business concepts, indicating a playful approach to entrepreneurship.
They express frustration with the generic tech support advice given by Windows and the paradoxical nature of social media interactions, such as the number of likes received for different types of posts.
The content concludes with a satirical take on self-help seminars and the unexpected benefits of convertible cars, as well as a joke about a dog's intelligence, highlighting the author's skepticism towards certain societal norms and the humor found in everyday situations.

Why won’t Biden tell us his bowling average? What is he hiding?

Poto de picture I take

High stuff

Ever been driving around so high that you pay at the first window and then drive off then remembering you drove past the second window and never got food until 10 minutes later?

According to my resume I’m a pretty smart guy. According to my Tressemee I’m pretty cheap when it comes to buying shampoo.

My body perpetually looks like I’m on day 25 of a 90 day fitness plan.

When the shit hits the fan, I wonder why someone would throw shit at a fan.

The most important thing we can learn from medical marijuana is that its possible to get a prescription in a bottle in less then 45 minutes.

The guy at AMPM asked how’s everything? “Well I’m buying a tall boy of beer at 1am with change so something went wrong somewhere. Otherwise I’m chilling.”

Poto de manyger

Geraldo teasers

Salad spinners and the right wing conspiracy that makes them impossible to fit in a cabinet on the next Geraldo.

Assholes that honeymoon in Tahiti for 3 weeks and post pictures daily on Instagram on the next Geraldo.

Girls that hit you up on OKcupid because they think you have speed on the next Geraldo.

People that claim to be a CEO of a business on LinkedIn that are really cashiers at Staples on the next Geraldo.

Old men who make kissy noises at my dog while I’m walking it on the next Geraldo.

poto bodaga lotto y burrito

Million Dollar Ideas

Im going to move to Walla Walla and open a Jewish bakery called “Walla Walla Challa”

I’m gonna make a food truck that specializes in Mexican egg dishes and call it “Feed Us Fetus Fajitas”

I’m gonna open a store that sells mattresses and motorcycles and call it “Sleep Cycle”

I’m going to hold a seminar for picking up big beautiful women and call it “Know Fat Chicks”

I’m gonna open a store that sells maternity clothes for animals and call it “Pregnant Paws”

Poto o me y emmy de… Nah I can’t say

Computer stuff

I love how windows says check with your systems administrator if the problem persists. I AM THE SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR AND I DUNNO WHATS WRONG

Why does having a subscription to Popular Science make you want to turn anything that connects to the internet to an FTP file server?

The fatter you are, the more likely you are to check in at the gym on Facebook.

Girl posts pic of herself in a bathing suit. 48 likes. Girl posts selfie. 28 likes. Girl posts pic with a new guy. 2 likes.

At this point Apple could take a dump in a box, sell it for 199, and achieve a 65% market saturation.

poto del flippo

Others

How M.I.T.T. (Lifespring) works: “Are you happy?” Yes “But are you REALLY happy?” OH MY GOD! Then you give them thousands of dollars.

The nice thing about hanging out with a girl who has a convertible is not having to hold in your farts.

A girl told me her dog was in menses. I said wow that’s a smart dog! I figured if she knew the word menses she’d get the joke but nope.