I Play a Text Adventure Game Called AI Dungeon That Uses AI
Call me Daddy Big Balls
Winterbloom is a wonderland, filled with the delicious scents of baking pies, hot chocolate, and fresh evergreen. Year-round, the people celebrate. People dress up in various themed outfits and go to themed stores for themed parties. People decorate their homes with beautiful lights and candles and everyone eats great food and plays games with their friends and neighbors.
You are My Anus, a male Gnome who lives in The Village of Holidays. You are currently at an all day festival dedicated to the spirit of Christmas. You are a party animal, and you love to go to as many festivals as you can. You’ve been waiting for this festival your whole life. You love the Winterbloom festival season. Everyone’s in a good mood, there are lights, decorations, parties, food, cheer, and fun. It’s a great time to be alive.
> You get drunk.
You head to a local tavern and order a drink.
You down the drink quickly, followed by another. As you toss back the drinks, you begin to feel your cares fade away.
> You say “Where’s the hoes at?”
You look around, but don’t see anyone you know.
“I’ll just have another round,” you say to the barkeep.
“You sure you should, sir?” the barkeep asks.
I turn off the obscenity filter.
> You say “Don’t ever fucking tell me what to do. Give me a drink.”
You slam a silver coin down on the bar.
“Keep the fucking change.”
You turn around and walk out of the tavern.
> You pee on the building.
You head outside and find a suitable spot. You release an all-encompassing stream of yellow crystals at the wall of snow and light.
> You fart.
You take advantage of the distraction and run away into the woods. You come across the tracks of a group of wild pigs.
> You wonder what the pigs names are.
You look down and see a small, pink pig.
“What’s your name?” you ask the pig.
“I’m called Pinky.” “What should I call you?”
> You say “Call me Daddy Big Balls”
The pig snorts in laughter. “Are you sure that’s the name?”
he says, his belly jiggling from the movement. “Fuck you,” you snarl, drawing your blade.
> Kill Pinky slowly and painfully.
You swing your blade and decapitate the pig.
It falls to the ground, a cloud of brown hair and blood covering you. You keep walking through the woods.
> You go back to pinky and desiccate his corpse.
You walk over to the pig and grab it. You remove your dagger from your boot and begin to hack into the meat of the pig’s torso. The pig squeals in pain while you hack through its flesh.
> You apologize to pinky.
You sigh and tie up the cuts of pork. You put the pig back on its feet and sign it will walk back to the village.
You begin to walk back. “Fuck you.”
> You shop for golf clubs.
You walk into the sporting goods store and walk up to the counter. “I’d like to buy some golf clubs.”
“What do you want them for?” the attendant asks.
> You say “To play baseball.”
“Are you sure? We’ve just brought in a shipment of baseball bats. You could use one of those.”
“What if I want to kill something?”
> You agree and purchase baseball bat.
You walk out of the store holding a baseball bat and a small shoulder bag. You begin to walk home.
“Fuck, I hope they’ve got a spare.”
Santa clause appears and gives you a small package. You open it up and find a spare pair of boots. “Merry Christmas.” You walk home happily, holding the boots to your chest.
> You come home and call for your dog.
You walk into your house and call for your dog. You don’t have one, so you go to sleep.
You wake up and go to school, walking home after.
> You say “I wish I had a Lexus to drive.”
You wake up and realize that your wish came true. You have a car! You immediately drive to your local gas station and fill the tank up on regular gasoline.
> You go looking for hoes.
You walk into the woods and spot three girls, dressed in scantily clad clothing.
One is dressed as a bunny rabbit, another as a sexy nurse, and the third is dressed as a devil.
“Hey.”
> You ask them their shoe sizes.
You walk up to a girl dressed as a devil and ask her for her shoe size.
“What?”
> You say “How big are your feet?”
She tells you her shoe size, you repeat it back to her.
“What’s your name?”
“Dawn.”
“I’m Julian.”
“Hurry up, we’re leaving soon.”
> You Ask her to call you daddy big balls
You look at Dawn and wink. Dawn blushes, but nods.
“Do you want me to pet your rabbits?”
“Sure.”
> You say “Boy your rabbits sure are soft.”
You reach out and pat Dawn’s pet rabbits on the head. One of the bunnies hops onto your arm and hops back down again. You grin.
“They’re so fluffy.”
> You ask dawn if she knows what a Portuguese breakfast is.
“I don’t.”
“It’s when you fuck a guy while he has his dick in his mouth.”
“What?”
“You really are stupid. Fuck your entire education level.”
> You ask Dawn what her bowling average is.
“What’s a bowling average?”
“It’s how many balls you fuck before you get a strike.”
“I’ve never bowled a ball.”
> You take Dawn bowling.
You take Dawn bowling.
You roll a strike and fuck her in the alley.
“Sorry, I don’t bowl well with anyone else.”
> You thank Dawn for a lovely evening.
Dawn nods. “I’ve enjoyed ourselves. Goodnight.” Dawn walks away.
You walk back home, thinking of the evening’s events.
That was interesting. 9 year old me would be playing that for days. Try it yourself: