I often get stood up but I can’t help getting stood up

Summary

The author describes a recurring struggle with insomnia that disrupts their sleep schedule, leading to a reliance on reading or watching "Banged Up Abroad" to cope with sleeplessness.

Abstract

The author of the article shares a personal account of their frequent encounters with insomnia. Despite attempts to maintain a regular sleep pattern, the author is often visited by insomnia, particularly when they are most exhausted. The condition forces them to engage in activities like reading or watching the television show "Banged Up Abroad" to pass the time. Although initially resistant, the author eventually succumbs to the insomnia, experiencing a form of Stockholm syndrome as they begrudgingly accept the situation. The insomnia typically lasts for an hour or two before dissipating, leaving the author with a heavy head the following day. The author goes to bed each night hoping to avoid insomnia but is met with it on average four nights a week, though they find some solace on the nights when it does not appear, allowing them to sleep peacefully.

Opinions

The author has a love-hate relationship with their insomnia, reluctantly enjoying the activity that fills the sleepless time.
Insomnia is personified as a friend who visits unpredictably and overstays its welcome, causing the author to feel helpless.
The author experiences a sense of relief or "enjoyment" when insomnia does not occur, which they refer to as being "stood up" by their condition.
The author suggests that their coping mechanism for insomnia involves watching or reading "Banged Up Abroad," implying that engaging content can be a

Being stood up is good for me

Met a few times in the past, but for the last one month, it has frequented me. I don’t like it, but I can’t do anything about it. It visits when it wants to, not when I want it to or need it to. I am not sure if I ever want it except for a few occasions when I may have needed it.

When it strikes me, I have no option but to stop doing what I was doing and read or watch BANGED UP abroad. And after an hour or two of reading or watching, it leaves me as if it had enough of watching and reading, and I go back to doing what I was doing: Sleeping.

The visitor is my long-time friend: Insomnia. It strikes me at night makes me groggy during the day.

I think it lurks on me and waits for the perfect time to strike me. It dares to meet me when I am exhausted and could hardly keep my eyes open, but it laughs, sneers and says, “you can’t sleep. I am here. We need to read or watch Banged up abroad.”

I am left clueless and helpless because I just can’t think through what happened. 10 minutes ago, I was sleepy, but in 10 minutes, my friend squeezed sleep out of every inch of my body. It’s sinister, but once I am 20 minutes into it, I start grudgingly accepting it. Stockholm syndrome.

My friend knows when to leave me; if it stays for too long, it knows I will resent it. After an hour or two of spending time with me, it vanishes. The only trace it leaves behind is the heavy head that I have the next day.

I go to bed every night hoping it doesn’t meet me, but 4 out of 7 days, it meets me. I keep guessing whether we are going to meet today, and sometimes I am stood up, but I enjoy being stood up — I can sleep.