I Never Thought That I Will Be Nearsighted.

Let alone wearing Eyeglasses.

Every Thursday morning, I buy my favorite strawberry milk from a nearby grocery.

That’s how I start my weekend mood.

While I was on my way, something weird happened.

My eyes started to hurt for no reason.

I wondered why.

I closed my eyes, to see if the pain will stop.

It didn’t.

After two minutes, my eyes felt itchy.

I scrubbed them, although I know it’s not healthy. But I couldn’t stand it. With every step, the itching was increasing. It reached a point where I couldn’t walk anymore.

I sat down and waited; hoping that the pain will be gone.

Luckily, the itching disappeared after 5 mins.

I was relieved.

I stood up and walked towards the grocery while thinking about my treasured strawberry milk.

What I didn’t know is that an unpleasant surprise was waiting for me. — When I reached the grocery, the near sign wasn’t clear.

At that moment, the overthinking version of me showed up.

“This is strange. This sign is always clear. What’s happening?” — I asked myself.

My weekend mood turned upside down.

I scrubbed my eyes again and I looked.

Still not clear.

Despite all the red flags, I decided to enter the grocery. You see, my love for strawberry milk was bigger than anything. I had some inner fear, but I was ready to give it a shot.

As I walked inside, I couldn’t see the far drinks sections very clear. They were sort of blurred.

“I am just tired, it’s early in the morning anyway.”

But I wish I didn’t say that.

The Calm Before The Storm

I bought the milk and went back home.

I was feeling a little bit anxious.

The first thing that came to my mind is to call an ophthalmologist. — I just googled this word by the way.

But before that, I shared the incident with my brother.

“It’s pretty normal, it happens from time to time” — He said.

Honestly, that made me feel better.

Suddenly, my carpool driver called.

“I am here, please come down.”

I totally forgot.

I have work today.

I started to get ready. Meanwhile, I was telling myself to stop overthinking. I tried to do anything to calm myself.

I said goodbye to my mom and went down.

While I was in the elevator, I thought about checking the grocery sign again.

Although I was short on time, I wanted to feel good.

I sought acceptance and peacefulness.

As soon as the elevator door opened, I took my bag.

And I ran.

I crossed the streets so quickly that I almost got hit by a car. — It’s not my fault, I think.

Then, it was showtime. The moment of truth is here.

I am standing in front of the grocery.

I looked up and…

It’s even worse.

The grocery sign is still not clear. This time, I felt like someone is pulling pressure on my eyes.

It sounds crazy, I know.

The overthinking mode is on again. All these negative thoughts were coming to me like sea waves.

My phone rang.

I ignored it. I was still in shock.

It kept ranging for a while.

I answered.

It was the carpool driver.

“Where are you? I will leave you alone if you didn’t come in five!”

I came back to my senses and rushed back to him.

Of course, the situation is way worse than before.

All thanks to my mind.

One Last Shot

With time, the situation was getting worse like a non-ending cycle. From going to work to my daily life, I felt like I am losing my vision.

I started to remember all my bad habits. From spending 70% of my time in front of the laptop under the dark to going through the social media world while commuting. That’s an approximate of 16 hours per day. Imagine that high pressure happening to your eyes every single day.

I needed a big change.

It’s time for me to do something new; Something big.

So, I decided that I will spend my next weekend doing nothing. 48 Hours, no phones, no laptops, no TVs, no games, and no Netflix.

Nothing.

Zero distractions.

It was the first time for me to do such a challenge. It looked hard for me, but I don’t like to lose. I believe this decision was made for the greater good.

It’s also my last shot. Since the grocery incident, I stayed for 4 months without going to the hospital. So, this challenge was the deal-breaker.

I set my calendar reminder on the next weekend, and I just waited. I was counting day by day, hour by hour. I felt like weekdays were stretching as hell.

Finally, the challenge was on.

It’s Friday!

The moment I reached home, my phone started vibrating.

And that’s what I did.

I put everything in airplane mode. My phone, laptop, and tablet. — I can’t turn off my tv because I would probably lose my body if you know what I mean.

I took a shower, laid in bed, and put my headphones on.

In the beginning, I didn’t fell the time. But after a couple of hours, I felt like time was getting slower and slower. Minutes felt like hours, and hours felt like months. I expected time to go faster a little bit, to be honest. And Spotify wasn’t helping me much with the shuffle playlists.

Also, it’s my first time doing this. So, I was trying to get used to it. The only time where I used to leave my bed was to eat and pray. I didn’t leave anything for coincidence.

Eventually, Friday was over.

I completed half of the challenge; hoping that my eyes were better already.

It’s Saturday.

Time is still slow.

In a matter of fact, Saturday was much slower than Friday. Imagine pushing a gigantic box for an entire hour with your bare hands. It’s painful and slow. That’s how I exactly felt on that day.

Until everything was over.

It’s Sunday.

I am free.

I woke up with very high hopes. The last time I had similar big expectations was when I graduated from University.

“I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations.” — (Bill Watterson)

Well, Bill, I did quite the opposite.

Because guess what?

My high expectation made my life harder. After the 48-weekend “rest camp”, nothing changed. My eyes still hurt, my vision is somehow blurred, and I am even more confused now.

I lost my last shot.

So, I was left with one choice only.

Facing The Hard Truth

I know what are you thinking.

Why I didn’t go to the hospital from the beginning?

Why I didn’t check my eyes till now?

Well, the reason is that I don’t like doctors. It’s not like I hate them, but I am just scared of them. This was my behavior since I was a kid and I can’t change it unless I reach the last stage of hope.

As I said earlier, I had one choice left; making an appointment with an ophthalmologist. So, I Googled the best doctors in the city and selected one of them randomly. — To be honest, it wasn’t random. I liked his name, it was short.

I went to the doctor on Tuesday with some shaky feelings.

He welcomed me, and asked several questions:

1. How do I feel?
2. What’s my current level of pain?
3. When I had my first incident?
4. Am I getting any treatment?

A bunch of screening vision tests were initiated by him — it’s where you get checked for your vision power.

I think you guys are pretty familiar with this.

After 40 minutes, the doctor told me to come closer.

He was getting ready to give me the results.

The nurse brought a small paper to the room with some empty numbers in between. As he started to put the numbers, my overthinking version was alive again.

I was so scared.

I mean, I expected him to tell me what’s going on and stuff, but as soon as he brought that paper, I knew something was wrong.

Although in reality, it’s normal.

Anyway, he looked at me and said:

“Unfortunately, you are Nearsighted. You have three options in front of you if you want to get better.”

I was out of words.

The room was silent.

What?

Nearsighted?

Three options?

What do you mean exactly?

My mind literally stopped.

I was trying to understand the situation. I couldn’t believe what he said. I never expected to hear these words in my life.

I asked the doctor if I can leave the room for a few mins.

He didn’t mind.

I left the room and I was just walking in the hospital. Thinking about what he said earlier.

I tried to do some breathing exercises because they help me in hard times.

After a while, I came back to him.

“Doctor, If I came to you 4 months ago, would it make any difference?” — I asked, feeling gulity.

“No. It wouldn’t make a big difference. It’s out of your hands. But now, you need to make a choice”. — He answered.

I must select one of the following options to be able to see better:

1. To wear Eyeglasses
2. To get lenses
3. To do a LASIK surgery — if I can’t handle any of the alternative choices.

Please keep in mind, that I was still trying to understand the whole thing. Yet alone, having several options in front of me.

But eventually, I need to get better.

And to do that, I need to pick one.

Eyeglasses were my best bet. They are easier to maintain, available everywhere, can be removed quickly, and have lots of choices and styles.

I told the doctor my answer and thanked him for everything.

It was the first time for me to leave a hospital feeling worse than entering it. I can’t describe that feeling until today, which is weird because now I know what’s wrong with my eyes. I know what’s happening with me.

But it is what it is.

That’s my story.

And if you were wondering how I do look with Eyeglasses.