Amber Ember’s Confessions

I Never Planned On Being A Hotwife

And I never understood it, until now…

When we first became swingers and began exploring ethical nonmonogamy, it was due to me wanting to reignite my connection with my bisexuality. We sought out couples with bisexual women, and focused on girl-on-girl play.

It wasn’t until I met, Anthony, as described in The Night A Stranger Made Me Squirt, that we realized how turned on we became when my partner watched me with another man.

But now that we’ve explored the hotwife scenario in threesomes and group play, it’s apparent that the benefits we gain from it continue to evolve, surprise and delight us. (Being a hotwife means that your partner encourages you to have sexual relations with others.)

There is no denying that I get off on embodying the hotwife persona, such as in the erotic poem, Hotwife Am I.

I Happened on Being A “Hotwife”

When we first began to explore me being a hotwife, we were turned on and energized by the thrill of having someone else satisfy me to the point that my partner was also turned on by it. I was therefore even more turned on and inclined to want to return the favor to my partner.

In essence, in some swinger circles, this concept is known as the energy that exists between couples when the man quote-unquote “reclaims” his “wife” after being with another man. We used to get high on this sexual excitement and chase it for more.

Essentially, we would be excited by the chase and the planning. Then we would be on cloud 9 during the hotwife experience, but finally, there was the investment that kept paying returns when I would then want to pay back my partner for “allowing” me to have fun with other men.

Most times my partner would be there, but sometimes, I would have private one on one experiences, but they were very rare. But those experiences weren’t as enjoyable because not only am I a hotwife, but I am my partner’s exhibitionist, and he is my voyeur. So when I went alone sometimes, I ended up disappointed.

The best scenario usually for us was to engage in a session where I was with two men. In this scenario, it’s as though my partner and I get many benefits. I am both the object and the possession of my partner. He watches me from afar and plays with me up close.

In all cases, while my partner is a voyeur and is turned on by seeing me have sex with other men, he is also an active participant who eventually wants his cake and to eat it too. Why shouldn’t he? He is a rather well-endowed, and sexually awakened man himself.

But these days, he has been rather more subdued. There has been a lot going on and our energy levels have not been great. As a result, it seems that my role as the hotwife feels as though it’s shifting.

I guess you could say that me being the hotwife is moving to the forefront, at least for now that is.

Now I’m Playing A Leading Role As “Hotwife”

Now when I am a hotwife, I almost feel like it’s a fix that we need. Whereas, before it added to our passion, it now seems to allow that passion to blossom. At this juncture being a hotwife is what is giving us breath and life.

We don’t just show up to a swinger’s party, or a club and randomly engage with these select men. We talk about it. A lot. We plan it. A lot. We fantasize about it. A lot. So that means that we also include it in a lot of our dirty talk.

Recently, we had an experience where we were able to take a video of me with a play partner. I get off on being an exhibitionist in film in a different way than I do in real life.

That’s because in the film when my partner films me then he is both seeing it live, and recorded, and can then replay it and watch it, which then becomes his own personal pornography of me.

Though I am very aware that we need to do a lot more to be able to even begin to chase this high around. These days it seems that I am seen in a new light when I am the hotwife. It’s a role I want to play.

Follow Amber Embers Confessions of Tales of being a Swinger, a Cougar, a HotWife, a Bi Goddess, an Exhibitionist, and a Submissive. She is also the Founder of Kink, Think & Swing. [email protected]