I Need To Talk About The Mob Wife Aesthetic On TikTok

This is not cute. It’s appalling on multiple levels.

You know, I’ve noticed that TikTok is a uniquely special hotbed of fuck-fuck shit. TikTok has gotten people to eat food out of toilets, caused that stupid pink sauce debacle that allegedly hospitalized people, and became a great place to hear the dumbest takes ever.

Look, I have content creators I love on TikTok, but it’s still a cesspit of bad takes. This most recent “aesthetic” trend is one that I feel I need to discuss for multiple reasons.

For those not in the know, there’s a new “mob wife” aesthetic trend hitting TikTok.

Basically, this is a completely misguided “aesthetic trend” that capitalizes off the decadent, hyper-romanticized concept of what people think mafia wives dress like. It’s a “rebellion” against the “clean girl” aesthetic that focused on health, clean eating, and hoop earrings for no apparent reason.

In a word, think The Sopranos revisited, with a dash of Jersey Shore. Of course, most girls don’t know how to pull it off, so it ends up looking more like SHEIN shat out something awkward and a bunch of girls are trying to show how “mafia” they are.

Me: Bitch, sit the fuck down.

I don’t agree with this trend for multiple reasons, the biggest being the glamorization of a rough life.

Back in the day, I had a bunch of friends who got involved in various gangs — not including the mob. They are not doing well. Gang life is awful, even if you’re a gangster’s girlfriend. Without fail, every single person who got involved in gang life had to go through horrific shit.

The woman in this TikTok explains what she went through as an alleged mob wife, and this tracks with my experience talking with other women who ended up getting “into the life” by birth, naivete, or choice.

As someone who has written letters to her ex in jail (ayyyy, JPAY!), it didn’t feel glamorous to deal with that. All I could think of when I was writing that letter is how much of a waste of potential that man had, only to end up in jail facing 20.

My ex wasn’t even in a gang, per se. He was just a drug dealer whose month-long meth bender and then-wife made him go berserk. And I know that fucking pain seeing him disappear only to reappear in jail after your friend who just got out for an assault charge gives you the heads up.

This “aesthetic” is costuming women’s pain and exploitation in the crime world. That woman on that TikTok is absolutely correct when she said that. That’s not cute.

Second, it’s cultural appropriation and pretty insulting.

I can’t help but notice how often people will appropriate cultures involving white people in obnoxious ways without actually calling it appropriation. This one hits me personally because I’m Eastern European and people associate that region with mafia activity as well.

First off, Italian-Americans and Eastern European-Americans have been dressing this way for decades. It’s called having style and expensive taste. It’s not “mafia garb” by any means.

I know a lot of Eastern European women who feel awkward if they don’t have at least one fur coat in their closet — real or otherwise. It’s just a thing. And yes, some of us do have a thick Jersey or New York accent. You should hear my quasi-cousin or hear me when I get heated and drunk.

Putting on a hokey accent while wearing this shit and boasting about how you “got the look” is not cute. It’s cringe. And also, calling it a “mob aesthetic” is painting both Italians and Eastern Europeans as cultures that are filled to the brim with organized crime.

We don't talk about how many Italian doctors there are, how many Russians work in colleges as professors, or how many Romanians just want to do software engineering. This kind of cultural appropriation just makes all of us look like thugs.

And let’s say that you actually are a mob wife. I’m willing to guess that you might find it annoying to see a bunch of people dress up like you and snuggle up to you for “the clout,” only to drop you when the next aesthetic comes into style.

I thought the whole appropriation of hygge as an aesthetic was bad. This is fucking worse. At least with hygge, the entire concept is an idea of cozy, healthful stuff. This just is beyond the pale.

Third, as someone from Jersey, this is hardly just “mob wife” gear.

This style never went away up here, nor is it just a matter of only Italians and Eastern Europeans wearing it. It’s called being from Jersey — specifically North Jersey.

Once in a while, I still see guys with blowouts per Pauly D from Jersey Shore. The tanning never went away entirely either — it’s just more subtle and less orange. The hair extensions and blowouts? Still a thing. Like, I could toss a rock out my window and hit a woman with big hair.

I mean…shit, have you seen my hair?!

I’m not going to even get into the large fake nail thing. My nails are currently about an inch and a half long. That’s just me being me, but once again, this shit is common with EVERYONE in my town.

And not for nothing, but Jersey women tend to take way better care of themselves than I typically do. I look frumpy next to most of the women in my area, much to my chagrin. And New York women? Oh yeah, go to 5th Ave and it’s a de facto runway half the time.

This shit is not new. In my area, it’s normal to see women walk down the street with Prada boots and a Valentino bag. It’s normal to see women with designer coats and big hair, eyelashes glued on, and big nails. That’s just Jersey.

It’s not even just a white girl thing. I’ve got neighbors who dress this way who are from South America or who are Black. As it turns out, they fucking hate that it’s brick outside and fur coats keep them warm. Oh, and they have warm skin tones so gold jewelry just looks great on them.

It’s. A. Jersey. Thing.

And finally, I want to point something out.

Right now, there are a lot of people also gatekeeping “the aesthetic” and I get that, but I find it awkward that it even got to that point. Italian/E.Euro cultures are very unique, but come on. It’s just basically Jersey shit.

Maybe we could call this look something else — Jersey, maybe? Jersey club glam? Hell, even saying it’s neo-guidoism wouldn’t be that bad. But calling it mob wife aesthetic?

Fuck outta here with that shit.