I Missed My Chance To Make My Cat Internet Famous

His name was Bumble before the dating app made it weird. Mostly, we called him Baby Kitty.

It was a sweet nickname when he actually was a baby kitty. Once he’d grown into a cranky old bastard, it was just beautifully poetic.

You see, Baby Kitty had issues. He was ridiculously cute, but his face was just the bait to lure you in, drawing you close enough so he could take a swipe at you. Claws out, of course.

But it was the photos that really captured his essence. For starters, his eyes glowed. Like, all the time. It took real effort to convince people it wasn’t a filter. I don’t know the technical terms for it, but he had an eye condition that caused his pupils to be dilated at all times and reflect the light. It also caused limited vision, but more on that later.

The second thing that made photos of Baby Kitty extra precious was the fact that I constantly caught him hissing.

Such photos prompted several of my friends to compare him to the cat from Pet Sematary. I can’t say that isn’t an accurate comparison.

He could have been internet famous. He could have been a meme. Who isn’t amused by an angry cat?

But he wasn’t just angry. No, there were many sides to Baby Kitty. Equally amusing was his love of playing fletch.

None of the four dingbat dogs he lived with over the course of his life could figure out how to play fetch. But Baby Kitty was a pro. Because of his limited vision, he could really only see quick movements so he loved it when I slid one of his toys across the floor for him to chase.

I have videos of him chasing the toy, pouncing on it, picking it up in his mouth, walking back, and dropping it in front of me so I could send it sliding again. Over and over and over.

Yeah, his fun side was pretty entertaining.

I considered making him an Instagram account. I thought there was an audience for a potentially possessed cat with a demonic aura. But let’s face it, Baby Kitty had the misfortune to be adopted by someone who lacks a certain entrepreneurial spirit. I knew I was never going to keep up with posting to his hypothetical account.

Maybe it was missed opportunity.

When Baby Kitty’s health started deteriorating, he got even angrier. I think he was scared. His body was weakening, he was losing weight, and he had no way of understanding what was happening to him.

His sweet moments became few and far between. He would still play fetch and I think that was his greatest form of joy at the end.

He died at 10 years and 4 months old. I stroked his little head as he went peacefully and told him despite the many, many scratches he’d given me over the last decade, he was deeply loved.

All the pictures and videos I had of him remained in my phone, unshared with the world.

Maybe only a couple dozen people would have been interested in Baby Kitty content. Then again, maybe he would have been a beloved internet pet. Maybe there would have been people to grieve along with me after he was gone.

So he never became internet famous. He never gained the level of popularity that so many people hope their pets will achieve.

I’m not sure I was cut out to be Baby Kitty’s manager. I don’t think I understand the business of internet fame, to be perfectly honest. I think I was more suited to being his person. He was loved and that was enough.

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