I Missed Elton John and Billy Joel In Concert Because Of George Michael

An Open Letter To My 1990’s Self

Dear Scott Hughey of the 90's.

You’re an idiot. Trust me. I would know. I used to be you.

There’s so much I need to tell you and I would if only time-correspondence-technology allowed it.

I’m not allowed to tell you to buy stock in [REDACTED] or to invest in [REDACTED.] See? It just gets redacted. I probably can’t even tell you to keep an eye out for something that rhymes with HitGroin, and get all of them that you can.

That worked? Maybe then I can get away with telling you that the woman you will make eye contact with in the [REDACTED] really is into you and that you should [REDACTED.]

Blast.

That’s okay. It’s not why I’m writing. Let’s talk about music.

You should go see that Billy Joel and Elton John concert in Charlotte.

I know you have your reasons for declining the invitation. They’re stupid.

Hopefully, nobody besides the two of us (or is it the one of us?) ever reads this letter, because if it gets out our pop music credibility will be shot. Possibly, so will our perceived intelligence.

You already like Elton John. You think he’s a wizard on the piano and you’re not wrong. But all those years ago, or in a couple of days (depending on the perspective) you’re going to turn down the chance to see him in concert.

You’re going to say goodbye to yellow brick road, and I think it’s going to be a long, long time before you realize what a sacrifice that’s going to be.

Why will you turn down the concert?

Because you (think you) don’t like Billy Joel. You’re being a moron. As Douglas Adams would have put it, you’re a complete kneebiter.

Listen to me carefully, 90’s Scott.

George Michael sang Faith. It’s the song you think is known as Gotta Have Faith but you’re wrong about that, too.

Bilyl Joel sang Keeping the Faith.

I understand that both songs contain the word faith. This does not make them the same song. Neither does it make Billy and George the same musical artist.

You decided that you didn’t like George Michael. Would it stun you to know that the you of today, who is currently me, listened to the entire [REDACTED] video that he included in this letter?

What? I can send a [REDACTED] video but I can’t say the word [REDACTED?] Whatever.

You already like a lot of songs by Billy. This is you speaking honestly. (Yeah. The pronouns get tricky with time-correspondence-technology) And one day Billy will become your favorite singer-songwriter.

You may be right. I may be crazy. But take it from me as a matter of trust, Billy Joel is a big shot. This is why I go to extremes to send you this message. You’re going to regret not seeing him play with Elton almost as much as I regret not buying [REDACTED] when it came out.

Dang it. I thought I could slip that in there.

And George Michael? Ironically, he sang Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me with Elton and it’s one of your favorite versions of the song. Much to my shame, I now see it was recorded before you turned down the chance to see Elton because you didn’t think seeing him with one of the greatest ever was worth a two-hour drive.

I was a bigger fool than I thought you were.

If you don’t believe me, go find a copy of The Stranger album. Listen to Scenes From an Italian Restaurant. You’ll thank me later.

Maybe see if Laura has a copy. She’s almost as much into music as she is into [REDACTED.] Ah, you know what I’m saying.

P.S. Don’t get too worried about “Why Too Kay?” Ooh, that worked? Cool. Maybe next time I’ll send you an idea for a book I have about an orphan boy with a scar who turns out to be a wizard. It’s called [REDACTED.]

Scott Hughey eventually saw Billy Joel in concert twice, but never got the chance to see Elton live.