I miss my Dad

Summary

The author deeply misses their father, who passed away 30 years ago, and is reminded of his comforting presence when a bartender offers a hot toddy similar to the one his father used to make for him during illness.

Abstract

The author expresses a profound sense of loss and longing for their father, who has been deceased for over three decades. Despite the passage of time, the author's desire to connect with their father resurfaces with intensity, particularly during moments of sickness. They recount childhood memories of their father's tender care, such as building steam tents and administering a homemade remedy of honey, lemon, and whisky in hot water to ease their asthmatic symptoms. This nostalgia is reignited when a bartender unexpectedly prepares a hot toddy for the author's persistent cough, evoking a powerful memory of their father's comforting presence. The experience serves as a poignant reminder to focus on the simple yet profound act of breathing amidst life's chaos.

Opinions

The author believes that their father's absence is still deeply felt, even after 30 years.
They cherish the memories of their father's nurturing and inventive care during their frequent childhood illnesses.
The act of drinking a hot toddy prepared by someone else triggers a nostalgic and emotional connection to their late father.
The author suggests that focusing on the act of breathing can be a calming and centering practice during difficult times.

Still after 30 years.

The urge to call my dad today was overwhelming, even though he has been gone for over 30 years. He died two days before my wedding many years ago, and his absence still echoes in my heart. There are some times or events that intensify this feeling, such as when I am sick.

As I child I seemed to catch every virus that floated past me which, due to my allergies, would turn into asthmatic bronchitis and, on at least one occasion, pneumonia. I remember my dad building “steam tents” in my bedroom to help my breathing and injections of adrenalin from doctors making house calls. This was a long time ago.

When I was very sick, I would awaken to him spoon-feeding me a mixture of honey, lemon, and a little whisky, mixed into hot water, basically a hot toddy, to soothe my cough. When I am sick and coughing at night, which I have been doing the past several days from a bad cold, I dream that he is beside me, spoon and cup in hand. But the dream has eluded me, and I have almost forgotten it.

Until today, when a bartender at a local restaurant offered to make me a hot toddy for my lingering cough. I blinked to stop the tears that flowed from my heart to my eyes. At the first taste, I was back in time with my dad by my side calming and comforting me, helping me breathe.

And maybe that was what I really needed, a reminder to inhale and exhale and to focus on my breath, especially as the chaos swirls around me.