I may not know an obsequious person, but I do know a few arselickers

Summary

The article discusses the concept of obsequiousness, equating it with being an "arselicker" or someone who is excessively eager to please or obey, and reflects on the author's own tendency to be overly pleasant to individuals in positions of power to avoid inconveniences.

Abstract

The text begins with a humorous take on the term "obsequious," suggesting that while the term itself may not be commonly used, its synonyms such as "bootlicker," "brownnoser," and "toady" are more readily recognized. The author, Delaney Patterson, admits to engaging in obsequious behavior, not with politicians (specifically expressing disdain for an unnamed "orange one"), but with various officials like airline staff, border guards, and parking attendants. This behavior is strategic, aimed at ensuring a smooth experience in situations where these individuals wield some control or influence over the author's circumstances. Patterson acknowledges the sycophantic nature of this conduct, despite a personal dislike for such obsequiousness. The article includes a personal anecdote where the author engages in flattery or commiseration with these officials, highlighting the lengths one might go to for convenience or expediency.

Opinions

The author finds the term "obsequious" less commonly used due to the existence of simpler, more colloquial synonyms.
Patterson does not consider themselves to be friends with any obsequious individuals but recognizes that they themselves can exhibit this behavior.
There is a clear distinction made between politicians and other figures of authority, with the author expressing a specific aversion to a politician referred to as "the orange one."
The author's obsequious behavior is portrayed as a calculated decision to avoid potential hassles or to receive preferential treatment.
The article implies a critique of societal structures that may encourage or reward obsequious behavior, as individuals in positions of power can influence one's experiences positively or negatively.
Patterson seems to be conflicted about their own behavior, acknowledging it as a form of sycophancy despite their instinct to be repelled by such conduct.

I may not know an obsequious person, but I do know a few arselickers

Delaney Patterson: Obsequious… well what am I going to do with this one?

You may not know any one who’s obsequious but I’m sure you all know an asskisser.

An obsequious person can also be called a bootlicker, a brownnoser or a toady. No wonder the word obsequious isn’t used very much. There are so many simpler words that mean the same thing.

Do I know anyone excessively eager and attentive to please or to obey instructions?

Do I know anyone who’s a sycophantic, smarmy, arselicker?

Well, no. But I can be really over-the-top pleasant to people with power. I don’t mean politicians. I wouldn’t be friendly to the orange one if my life depended on it. On occasion, I have been super nice to airline officials, border guards and security personnel and immigration and quarantine officers. Even parking station attendants. Get my drift?

By nice, I mean either complimenting them or commiserating with them. Complimenting women on their nails or jewellery or commiserating on having to stand all day in this terrible weather. It’s more difficult to compliment a man. Showing an interest by asking questions such as “ How long have you been doing this job?” “ You must have started work when you were 5 years old.” Why do I subconsciously do this? Because I want to be processed quickly or not encounter any problems in boarding a flight.

I hate to admit I’m the obsequious one…