PARENTING

I Make My Atheist Children Say Grace At The Dinner Table

An atheist family recognising the benefits of some religious traditions

A few months ago my family started saying grace before every meal, it can go a little something like this “Thank you for this delicious meal before us”, or on other occasions, my son or daughter might recall something, in particular, they are grateful for, family, pets, school, etc. Me and my partner can also take the opportunity to share something we really appreciated.

These few words are often accompanied by a few seconds of blissful silence. Then the eating begins.

We’re completely non-religious

Sure, I have a religious parent but personally, I share no affiliation with any religion, including Christianity. I haven’t been in a church in years and even then it was only for a Christmas service. Neither I nor my partner has ever practiced saying grace at home with our own parents, nor have either of us been exposed to the act in any way.

So why are we doing it to our children?

You don’t have to be a vegan to eat more vegetables.

I see this the same way. We recognise that this small act could be super beneficial to use a family, mostly our children. So we’ve added it to our daily routine.

Our main reasons for doing so are:

To promote reflection, without trying to force it out of them. This moment feels like the ideal time for children to comfortably consider their day and actions.

Encourage sharing thoughts, the kids get the opportunity to share something that’s important to them at a time which everyone is together. Sometimes the talking point of dinner is focused on whatever one of my children said they were thankful for.

It provides parental insight into your children’s mindset, without feeling like you’re being pushy or prying.

Delayed gratification/self-control. Children naturally want to just dive into their meals, as with most things, especially when they are little. Making them patiently wait for their meal help to teach them much-needed self-control.

It’s beneficial to have family traditions. These little gestures and acts that families do, which are unique to them, help shape the families’ identity, which makes you all feel a lot more cohesive.

Promoting gratuity, of course, the whole act is to consider what we are grateful for. It humbles us and reminds us of how lucky we are just to have each other.

Promotes confidence when speaking publically, without putting them in any daunting situations.

Results

After doing this for a few months, we no longer have to remind our children to wait or help them with what to say. They handle it completely independently and even do it when they are with their grandparents.

They are excited and enthusiastic about what they are going to share and are confident in the whole act. Even my three-year-old has a go.

Try it. If anything, it might just be a bit of fun.

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Delilah Brass

January 2022