I Lulled Her into a Purring Sleep
Even in my dreams, she invites me to settle, and for that, I am grateful

(A few nights ago, I had a dream that I was telling someone my dream, and midway through my retelling, I realized how boring it is to tell someone your dream and how it’s even more boring to have to listen. So I stopped talking.)
(I mean, inside my dream: I stopped talking.)
But last night, I dreamt my cat and I went on a road trip in the snow to stay at a friend’s house.
(I hope you will forgive me for continuing.)
Our friend was also hosting another cat and a dog and a squirrel, so of course, my cat lost her mind over the squirrel, and she tried to chase it down. My friend’s house had no closed walls and all open windows, so my cat ran away. I almost lost her in the snowy forest.
When I finally captured her back, she was shivering and shaking like a newborn baby, mid-colic, desperate for sleep but not able to calm her own body. I took her in my arms. I shushed her, and I cradled her, and I rubbed the length of her spine. I lulled her into a purring sleep.
My cat often senses when I am in pain. She will sit on the exact spot of my left hip where I need it when I am in pain. She will pull in my energy and shake it off.
This morning I sat down to finish work before officially taking the day off. I hadn’t even said good morning to my cat, but she pawed her way up the couch, crawled into my lap, and curled up like she was that baby. I rubbed the length of her spine. I cradled her softly.
This last part was not a dream.
E. Katherine Kottaras holds an M.A. in English and an M.S. in Kinesiology with a focus on Integrative Wellness, and she is a contemplative writer and holistic teacher, having worked at the middle, high school, and community college levels for over two decades. She is a yoga teacher, personal trainer, and health coach while also living with invisible illnesses and neurodivergence, and as such, she is passionate about mindfulness, bodily self-determination, and health equity. As the queer daughter of an immigrant, Katherine believes that holistic and inclusive approaches to expression, healing, and growth should be accessible to all.
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