I Love You (Un)Conditionally

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Abstract

How would you respond?One of the things you do as you get older is make out a will. You decide to who and where your money will go. Another thing you decide is called a living will. In it you give someone else the power to decide if you can’t, to what lengths they should go to save your life and in the case of my father if and when to turn off life support. If you were very wealthy would you give the power of deciding if you lived or died to the person that would get all of your possessions? That is called total trust.That would also be considered unconditional love. We collectively made the decision to take my father off of life-support after the doctor said that he might be able to be kept alive via machines but would never be who he was. His organs were shutting down one by one and brain waves were minimal. We made the decision to let things happen naturally and remove him from the machines. Within five minutes he had passed.Two other decisions in my life regarding unconditional love were euthanizing two of my beloved dogs. One had a heat stroke, the other was in great pain and could not stand up anymore. I could have been selfish and let them die painfully and slowly, or hold them while the vet put them to sleep.I am a fan of unconditional love. The thing is there are levels of love. The deeper the level the more difficult I think to have unconditional love. Parents can love their children unconditionally. They do not need to like their children 100% of the time but unconditional love is there. Friends can love each other unconditionally. There can be unspoken conditions on that. Those conditions might involve a physical relationship. Have you ever loved a friend unconditionally until that person same sex or not told you they had sexual interest in you? It is not a deal breaker. You

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can both sit down and explain that you do not have those same feelings and if you are both honest the friendship might still thrive. You might however find out there was a condition.I want to talk about unconditional love in a couple. Unconditional love is the utopia of love and lovers. The absolute best relationships involve that. Like with any relationship it does not mean that there are not conflicts. I means they are discussed and resolved. Fights can and will happen they are fair fights with rules (there is that condition thing again). They both look to support each other. They respect boundaries (conditions?). They work together as a team and grow as a team and as individuals. This looks beautiful doesn’t it? That is because it is beautiful.You know who is also looking for people that wish to love unconditionally? Abusers and narcissists. There are a number of people in our community that trust and loved a partner that abused them physically, emotionally, and/or psychologically. They had aspects of unconditional love thrown back at them. They were apologize to and blame for what happened to them. They were kept trapped in that relationship because they loved that person and unconditional love (turned into fear?) is not given up on.I strive for unconditional love in relationships. I do not need you to love me to show you love. I do not need it to be equal all of the time. I am not keeping spreadsheets. That would be a condition. In my article “Roots” I spoke about roots being planted in people’s hearts. Roots need fertile conditions to grow. I can nourish the roots, but they also need to be nourished in the heart they were planted or they will not grow. I don’t know if that is a condition put on unconditional love but it is a condition of nature.Peace be with you</article></body>

Monday: What are the conditions of unconditional love?

So I know I do this often but before I get to the topic I want to talk about something else. I know, rolling eyes, I am used to it people, in the past it was just thirty pairs at a time. The good thing now is that there is nobody in the back of the room raising their hand and asking “When are we going to be using this in real life?”

I want to talk about trust for a bit. I want to paint a little picture and have you think about the answer to the question I am going to ask. You meet someone. You and they have fun together. You enjoy each other’s company. You have fun. You get to know each other. After a period of time the other person comes up to you and says I have a question for you. In order for us to continue I need you to agree to something. If you do fine, if not I can tell you that our enjoying each other’s company is going to come to an end. You say well I like the time together what would you like to ask?

The other person says I want you to unconditionally and totally trust me with everything in your life. I want to know all of your secrets, read all of your journals, I need all of your passwords, a key to your car and house. I want to know everything about your past, all of your fears, every tragedy, every triumph, and every hope and dream no matter how big or small. How would you respond?

One of the things you do as you get older is make out a will. You decide to who and where your money will go. Another thing you decide is called a living will. In it you give someone else the power to decide if you can’t, to what lengths they should go to save your life and in the case of my father if and when to turn off life support. If you were very wealthy would you give the power of deciding if you lived or died to the person that would get all of your possessions? That is called total trust.

That would also be considered unconditional love. We collectively made the decision to take my father off of life-support after the doctor said that he might be able to be kept alive via machines but would never be who he was. His organs were shutting down one by one and brain waves were minimal. We made the decision to let things happen naturally and remove him from the machines. Within five minutes he had passed.

Two other decisions in my life regarding unconditional love were euthanizing two of my beloved dogs. One had a heat stroke, the other was in great pain and could not stand up anymore. I could have been selfish and let them die painfully and slowly, or hold them while the vet put them to sleep.

I am a fan of unconditional love. The thing is there are levels of love. The deeper the level the more difficult I think to have unconditional love. Parents can love their children unconditionally. They do not need to like their children 100% of the time but unconditional love is there. Friends can love each other unconditionally. There can be unspoken conditions on that. Those conditions might involve a physical relationship. Have you ever loved a friend unconditionally until that person same sex or not told you they had sexual interest in you? It is not a deal breaker. You can both sit down and explain that you do not have those same feelings and if you are both honest the friendship might still thrive. You might however find out there was a condition.

I want to talk about unconditional love in a couple. Unconditional love is the utopia of love and lovers. The absolute best relationships involve that. Like with any relationship it does not mean that there are not conflicts. I means they are discussed and resolved. Fights can and will happen they are fair fights with rules (there is that condition thing again). They both look to support each other. They respect boundaries (conditions?). They work together as a team and grow as a team and as individuals. This looks beautiful doesn’t it? That is because it is beautiful.

You know who is also looking for people that wish to love unconditionally? Abusers and narcissists. There are a number of people in our community that trust and loved a partner that abused them physically, emotionally, and/or psychologically. They had aspects of unconditional love thrown back at them. They were apologize to and blame for what happened to them. They were kept trapped in that relationship because they loved that person and unconditional love (turned into fear?) is not given up on.

I strive for unconditional love in relationships. I do not need you to love me to show you love. I do not need it to be equal all of the time. I am not keeping spreadsheets. That would be a condition. In my article “Roots” I spoke about roots being planted in people’s hearts. Roots need fertile conditions to grow. I can nourish the roots, but they also need to be nourished in the heart they were planted or they will not grow. I don’t know if that is a condition put on unconditional love but it is a condition of nature.

Peace be with you