PANDEMIC POLITICS

I Love This Paris Fashion Sense

How one school district rolled up its sleeves to fight delta

Of course I love Paris in the springtime. But I’m leaning more toward Vax-to-School Season this year.

A school district in Northeast Texas has figured out how to get around Governor Greg “the Jackass” Abbott’s anti-mask mandate. And I’m here for their fashion choices, especially in the Time of COVID.

Since, it seems, the beginning of time — or at least since the era of American educator Thomas Dewey, who established the public school system we know and love today — kids have been chafed by what-to-wear choices.

I spent a fair amount of my two-plus decades in high school enforcing our “Boobs, Butts and Bellies” dress code. Simply put, don’t come to school dressed for the beach, nor like a retro hip-hop star. The school nurse still keeps a stash of hand-me-down sweats to loan to flagrant fashion criminals in our school, should we catch them in flagrante delicto.

The rule, basically, is that students aren’t allowed to defy gravity in the What Not to Wear sense — either by exposing notable body parts or wearing saggy, baggy jeans with waistbands encircling their knees. Call it the “anti-crack” policy, if you will. In other words, Just Say No.

And yeah, I’m pretty sure that arsehole Abbott has no idea what the sweet medieval Latin phraseology, above, means. He’s always been a dull-witted dope, as my Nana would say.

Delta variant disputes of a Texas-sized variety have, of course, recently extended to the classroom, fueled by Abbott’s dangerous fashion choices.

He’s the guy who has been trying his damnedest to infect fellow Lone Star Staters with COVID-19, most recently by ordering a ban on mask mandates throughout the state he governs so poorly.

In other words, if school districts and other jurisdictions wish to demand students (or customers) wear masks, the state — according to this chucklehead — will overrule those trying to thwart our “freedom”.

Of course, with so many shareholders weighing in on this more-than-controversial decision — local, state and federal courts; politicians; superintendents, and parent groups, among others — things have become more than confusing back in my home state.

So Paris — always on top of the latest styles — decided to enter the fray.

The Paris (Texas) Independent School District chose to pants Abbott and his meat-headed, anti-mandate mandate. The 3,963-student jurisdiction, about 184,000 fewer kids than in my D.C.-area district, did what all of the public school behemoths in the state — Houston, San Antonio, Dallas — tried, but failed so far to accomplish.

Little ol’ PISD is requiring its students to wear masks as part of its dress code this year.

Genius!

The Paris Board of Trustees, you see, believes “the dress code can be used to mitigate communicable health issues,” according to a statement released this week. Abbott “does not have the authority to usurp the Board of Trustees’ exclusive power and duty to govern and oversee the management of the public schools of the district,” the Paris public schools’ governing body said. Meaning Austin can have no say in how Paris governs its schools in this regard.

It appears Abbott will have to go to the school nurse and get some hand-me-downs. Cause he doesn’t wear the Paris decision particularly well.

Great Big Greg’s “emergency” executive order banning mask mandates was co-opted by a teeny, tiny school district, which issued its own declaration during its own “emergency” meeting. Score one for the Good Guys.

Looks like Abbott was caught with his pants down. In other words, the Fashion Police didn’t win this time. And that won’t help the governor look his best in future COVID battles.