I lost Somebody And I Can’t Take It Off My Mind

Summary

The author is grappling with intense grief and emotional turmoil following the sudden death of a young, beloved colleague, which has disrupted their daily life and ability to focus on important tasks such as studying for an exam.

Abstract

The author has recently experienced the profound loss of a colleague who passed away unexpectedly. This loss has deeply affected the author, causing them to struggle with a flood of emotions including anxiety, sadness, and confusion. The colleague is remembered as a kind and positive presence, always smiling and eager to learn. The author regrets not having expressed things they wanted to share with the deceased and reflects on the importance of communicating one's feelings without delay. The grief has impacted the author's ability to concentrate on an upcoming important exam and has intensified feelings of isolation due to not being able to visit family because of the COVID-19 pandemic. The author, seeking some form of catharsis, has chosen to express their emotions through writing, despite the difficulty of maintaining a positive and inspirational demeanor during this challenging time.

Opinions

The author expresses a deep sense of loss and sorrow over the death of their colleague, emphasizing the suddenness and unexpected nature of the event.
There is a strong feeling of regret for not having said things to the colleague while they were still alive, highlighting the importance of expressing feelings and thoughts openly.
The author's emotional state is described as a mix of anxiety, sadness, and confusion, indicative of the complex nature of grief.
The colleague is fondly remembered for their positive attributes, such as their constant smile, kindness, and eagerness to learn.
The author is struggling to cope with the loss, which is affecting their ability to focus on other aspects of life, including academic responsibilities.
The COVID-19 pandemic has exacerbated the author's sense of isolation and longing for familial comfort, making the grieving process even more challenging.
The author has a desire to express their emotions honestly, even if it means showing vulnerability, as a means of processing their grief.

I lost Somebody And I Can’t Take It Off My Mind

I lost a very sweet friend.

So I lost my colleague and it is hitting me hard. I don’t know what to do. Yesterday I was trying to shut my mind from thinking about him but I kept on remembering his place, his voice, and his face. It was such a sudden thing because he just fell and died. Nothing was wrong, no sign of any kind of medical problem or anything at this point I don’t remember a lot of words.

He was so young, I mean how and why. I don’t know what I am feeling right now. It is just a mixture of anxiety, sadness and I don’t know what. He was such a nice person always smiling and wishing everybody, learning new things every day. And I keep thinking about things I wanted to tell him and I should have told him but now I cannot.

I apologize for my grammar or mistakes, my mind is a mess. Last time I lost someone was my grandfather and I was 10 at that time and I would want it that way. It is just hard to accept that he will not be there. Mentally I just want to go there and find him and say every single thing I kept from him that I will tell him later.

“ Moments like this make me remember that You ‘need’ to say if you want to say something right there and then when it came in your mind. If you haven’t said and kept things just call them or just go to there place and say it even if it is sorry or thank you or maybe thanks for being a great guy or I love you or I hate you because trust me you will be sitting at the same place where I am sitting and thinking about all these things.”

I tried to write a tribute for him but my mind just keep picturing his face in front of me, like he is going to come and say Hi Rohini and start doing his work. I don’t know how to cope with it. I have a very important exam to give and I should be studying hard for it but my mind is just not corporating.

Due to COVID 19, This year I cannot go to meet my parents and after this incident, I just want to blow everything off and go home and hug everybody. I don’t like to be a softy and cry on the phone while talking to my parents because then they are sad so I decided to write my mess here and decided to cry while writing this. I hope you don’t mind. Sometimes it is just hard to be inspirational, positive, and smile.

I really really really want this year to end.