Summary

The article discusses the author's experience of losing an 11-year friendship with a white friend due to differing beliefs about systemic racism and the Black Lives Matter movement.

Abstract

The author, Destiny, recounts the painful end of a long-term friendship with a white conservative friend following a conversation about race and systemic racism. Despite shared experiences in college ROTC and as roommates, the friendship deteriorated when the author confronted the friend's views on race. The friend's denial of systemic racism and police bias, influenced by media and political narratives, starkly contrasted with the author's personal experiences and understanding of the Black experience. The author emphasizes the importance of understanding racism from a Black perspective and suggests educating oneself through diverse Black voices and media, such as "The 13th Documentary." The article also touches on the broader societal issues of implicit bias within law enforcement and the responsibility of individuals to educate themselves on systemic racism, rather than placing the burden on Black individuals. The author concludes with a somber note on the persistence of racism due to human greed and the need for wealth and knowledge to combat it.

Opinions

The author expresses frustration and disbelief that their white friend, despite a long friendship, could deny the existence of systemic racism.
There is a belief that white privilege includes the option to remain oblivious to racial issues.
The author advocates for understanding the Black experience from a Black person's perspective, suggesting that other racial groups cannot fully speak to it.
The article criticizes conservative figures like Candace Owens and Larry Elder for views that align with the Trump doctrine and are seen as detrimental to the Black community.
It is argued that police officers, regardless of race, possess implicit bias due to the culture within many police departments, which can lead to the dehumanization of citizens.
The author asserts that Black people should not bear the responsibility of educating others about systemic racism and Black history, as they already face challenges in this area.
The author posits that racism is deeply rooted in greed and the desire for power, suggesting it may never fully end.
The article encourages readers to learn about the racial wealth gap to better understand systemic racism's economic implications.

Black Lives Matter

I Lost My Friend of 11 Years to a Conversation About Race

Part III: My White Friend Doesn’t Believe In Systemic Racism

As a Black individual who grew up oblivious to racial matters, it seems normal to lose many white friends as you grow more aware. You wake up to realize that many of your white friends were racist, and you condoned it. I’ve noticed the trend, not only in my life but also in others.

I’m flabbergasted when white individuals don’t believe in systemic racism because it’s so in your face; how can you not see it?

One of the manifestations of white privilege is not having to think about it. — Nicole Chung

This year, I officially lost another White friend whose been in my life for over ten years. We did college ROTC together, we were college roommates, and we stayed close after graduation. I was keenly aware that she and her family are conservatives. Still, I never expected our relationship to blow up over a conversation about race since she seemed so tolerant of my many other liberal views.

Earlier this year, she ghosted me after I confronted her views.

You might ask how we could have remained friends for over a decade in the first place. We never discussed racism, and I was mostly oblivious to racism until after college. But even during college, it was something we never thought to discuss.

I wish we did.

Her Final Words To Me

Respectfully D, I do not understand how you can say that there is no argument…” for police perpetrating systematic racism. This had been PREACHED by mainstream media, with no evidence. This is what BLM rioters screamed in the streets last year when they burned down multiple businesses.

This is what democratic politicians have claimed. Biden immediately claimed after the Capital riots that if the rioters were black, this would not have happened because the police would have been more aggressive in pushing them back. This [systemic racism] has been a foundational point of the Biden/ Harris Administration.

My Final Words to Her

You must first understand the Black experience from a Black person’s perspective. Sure, we can listen to other people’s (white, Asian, Latin, etc.) views, but they can’t speak on the Black experience with 100% confidence since they will never be Black.

After you get a chance to watch The 13th Documentary, I would like to discuss some of the writings and authors you stand with on racism. Candace Owens and Lary Elder (who is known to sell out his people when convenient for Black American success) represent a minority group, and their views conveniently side with Trump doctrine.

I encourage you to explore other Black authors, artists, and leaders who have dissenting views than you, watch the documentary I recommended, and hear my words as someone in Black skin who is your friend.

Read my complete response: here

I also sent a final letter to her discussing my disappointment about the demise of our friendship over such a controversial subject. To this day, I wish my long-time white friend wasn’t racist, and I wish she had taken the time to educate herself on the matter thoroughly. If she had, our friendship wouldn’t be where it is today, which is nonexistent.

Police Are Biased — It’s The Truth People

In response to her belief that many police are not racist, don’t perpetuate systemic racism, and aren’t biased, alanzisser put it best:

“Every police officer has implicit bias because everyone has implicit bias. They just don’t know it. Even a black officer can be biased against a black man or woman. It is more than racism, there is a toxic culture in many police departments that have been trained into them or over time has become part of them because of the nature of the beast. Police learn to see themselves as the state’s enforcement authority. They get a gun and a badge and are told they can pretty much stop anyone they want. This power that they learn is reinforced over time while looking the other way when bad actors act out. The George Floyd incident was a perfect example. There were three other police on the scene. Two were brand new rookies. They stood around doing nothing while the senior officer on the scene killed a man right in front of them, and dozens of citizens who pleaded for another outcome. These are not outliers. This is the culture of dehumanizing people in a way that puts people at risk by the people who are there to protect and serve. Needs to change.” — alanzisser

We’re all biased in some form or another. Some people are conscious of their bias; most people are not — especially those in authoritative positions.

It’s Not Our Responsibility to Educate Ignorant People

Black people already struggle with their education of systemic racism and Black history (I was one of them). We can’t also spend our lives trying to educate other people who don’t put in the effort to learn about it.

However, we can continue to educate ourselves. Knowledge opens the door to power. Applied knowledge leads to wealth. Wealth + knowledge leads to power, freedom, and hope for the generations to come.

Will Racism Ever End?

Probably not. Though many may disagree, as the great book puts it: For the love of money is the root of all evil. In other words, greed is the foundation of slavery, racism, and the ill-treatment of others. There always has to be a top dog. This is — unfortunately — human nature.

Everyone seems to understand that money is the universal language. If you struggle to understand systemic racism, read: The Racial Wealth Gap In America.

Hey, I’m Destiny, and I give away my books for free daily. Get yours: Here.