I Lost More Than Just My Kidney When I Got Cancer

But I learned something in the process

Have you ever considered how important your health is to every aspect of your life?

When we are healthy, everything we do is completed with the assumption that our well-being will continue to cooperate. We fully expect to be able to work and play hard while also enjoying our precious family and friends.

Whether we like to admit it or not, many of us begin to take things for granted. We assume that our good health will always be there.

So what happens when all of that stops being the case? When your personal health rebels and decides to make things very difficult for you in the process. How will your life change?

This is exactly what happened to me seven months ago.

It was on a beautiful sunny day in early July that I got that phone call from my doctor that nobody wants to receive. The routine CT scan I had completed earlier in the week revealed a mass on my kidney.

In other words… I had cancer.

What followed was a flurry of appointments and treatment that eventually ended with kidney surgery just a few months later.

All of this did a number on me both physically and mentally. Having to stare death in the face is not a very pleasant experience. I was sick, weak, and thoroughly anxious about what was to become of my family.

But I survived.

Be that as it may, a number of things I cherished, did not. Just like the tumor that was cut from my body, they disappeared into the darkness.

First and foremost on that list was friendships. Many people I considered to be good friends vanished and have yet to return. I believe the term used for that these days is “ghosted”.

So yes… my friends ghosted me.

Not only did they not visit me while I was in the hospital, but I have still not heard from them. That hurts.

The logical side of me says there are probably good reasons for this. Perhaps they did not like to see me in pain. Maybe they just did not know what to say to me. It can be quite awkward to see a close friend in such a way.

A less generous perspective would reason that they just no longer saw value in me. In many ways, friendships are like investments, and this one did not look like it was going to pay off!

Whatever the case may be, they were no longer comfortable in my presence.

All of that is quite difficult for a person to accept at any point in time. However, when you are battling cancer, the impact is greatly amplified. An awful lot of uncertainty and anxiety accompanies people on their cancer journey. From analyzing every ache and pain to a deep and foreboding sadness for the loss of our health.

It is at times like these that we need a friend. But mine were gone.

Do you know who wasn’t gone though?

My wife!

She stood beside me during this entire journey. She watched my worst moments of intense pain and gleefully celebrated each small step forward toward recovery. All of this could not have been very comfortable for her. Nevertheless, she was there every step of the way.

I am very grateful to her and for my second chance at life. She has shown me what unconditional love and devotion actually are.

Cancer is a difficult journey. One that far too many people simply do not survive. A sad and tragic reality. However, I have found in life that the greatest truths and revelations are frequently revealed during our darkest moments.

They burst forward like a torrent of unleashed and entirely unexpected energy!

My cancer journey is no exception to this rule. I have snatched what I can from it and have reached a much deeper understanding in the process.

I have learned to be grateful for what I have in life. To be mindful of every moment. Never to take it for granted as it can all be gone in a flash.

To never hold onto regret and negativity as this will only harm ourselves in the process. Grudges serve nobody and tend to hurt the holder the most in the end.

Deliberately surrounding ourselves with love and those people who are true and genuine in their support. Then I give it all back to them many times over.

Often the best lessons in life are the hardest to learn. We may have to experience intense pain and suffering to truly appreciate their meaning.

However, when that happens it is a glorious feeling and nothing else seems to matter.

It just doesn’t matter.