I Lost A Friend Yesterday…

In The Month of “Movember”

I already had another article ready to go for today, (Ironically about the topic we are about ready to discuss) but then got some sad news late last night. I had opened my Instagram to see a message from a high school and college buddy.

“I don’t know if you heard, but Brad passed away this morning.”

My heart dropped. Completely caught off guard. Due to what I remembered of my old friend and what he had all been through in his life, my first thought ran to suicide. I was dreading the answer when I replied back, “Of what?”

“Liver failure. Alcoholism.”

I hate to say it, but it made sense. Brad had some deep, dark demons that he was battling and it seemed he found his escape through the bottle.

Brad was in a close circle of friends during high school and several of us went all the way back to early grade school. I played soccer with him in second and third grade and basketball with him in seventh and eighth. His dad, a wonderful man, was the head coach of our basketball team that ended up winning the championship in our final grade school year.

Brad got me my first job at sixteen. We worked at a family entertainment center with an arcade, go-karts, laser tag, bumper cars, bowling, and more. He was there when I totaled my first car in that parking lot after an after-hours “lock in”. He introduced me to my first girlfriend.

But then in college, we all went our separate ways. Some went to K-State others to KU, and me to Benedictine. Most of us stayed close, but due to some drama and unfortunate dishonesty, Brad fell out with us.

I can’t remember the last time I talked with him, but it must have been sometime during that freshman year of college, later on in our late twenties, I did catch wind of some devastating news: his mom had passed away.

Along with his dad, Brad’s mother was a sweetheart. She was very warm and welcoming whenever we would go over to their house. She was a teacher and she loved her students, but even more so, she loved her family.

Hearing it from the grapevine, Brad took it really hard. Understandably so. But that may have been the catalyst for his already-known drinking habits.

When I look back on my life, I partied hard. Working in the service industry throughout most of my twenties, drinking was part of the culture. Everyone did it. When I went to Australia for a year, several of my friends down there had severe drinking issues. So much so that they drank every morning to start the day. I was beginning to follow suit.

I lost a friend from The Cherry Cricket due to alcoholism and another was incredibly close.

We just lost Matthew Perry, advocate for those with drinking problems.

But I do want to make things transparent, I still enjoy a glass of wine, a snifter of scotch, and a chilled pint glass filled with Dos Equis. I still enjoy dive bars, speakeasies, and live music. But it's been years since I’ve been hungover. I don’t miss that.

As a man, we need to support our men. We have an epidemic going on with male suicides, depression, anxiety, and alcoholism.

And as men, we don’t ever want to talk about it. Trust me, I know!

Men are confused today on so many fronts and even if I were to help a couple with this page, I would feel fulfilled.

The death of Brad at the beginning of this month is a tough one, but also a sign. This month will be dedicated to him and I will wear my mustache proudly throughout.

RIP, buddy.

Please follow for my cervical vertigo and panic disorder story as well as more mental health help.