If I re-entered my classroom. How my brain processes to create.

Written in memory of my fabulous history teacher — Ms. Evans.

Procrastinating at School

Ms. Evans was a very inspiring teacher before technology. She would use simple slides from her holidays to create a dramatic narrative using inquiry questions which became our thinking frame during the unit of work.

When we studied Ancient Egypt in Year 7, I was so obsessed that I made my own version of Egyptian paper, made a mummy and painted it, carefully drew hieroglyphics all over the casket, and used traditional Egyptian paint colors. I carefully wrote each aspect of Ancient Egyptian Life on 15 pieces of paper and then burnt around the edges and used old coffee grains to make the paper look old. I rolled up the scrolls and placed them in the casket I made, and delivered my assignment to her. She looked at me oddly, and I helped her lift my ancient Egyptian casket to her car. The other kids just submitted their work on lined paper stapled in the left corner.

Often in class, I would be looking out the window while others were writing in English, Geography, or History class. I would start writing 15 or 20 minutes after other students. I unnerved and probably distracted other students, and my teachers, by tapping my feet or pencil, walking around, or wiggling in my seat (as I also hated to sit).

A few teachers would become so annoyed with my behavior. They would ask me to leave the class and go to the library. I loved the teacher’s direction and didn’t realize it was a punishment. I thought it was a reward, and I skipped to the library as I could read on the lesson's topic on the cushions next to a window that looked out onto the school garden.

I recall Ms. Evans met me after school one day. I entered the classroom, and she asked me to focus and not daydream or procrastinate. I was upset about being in trouble, as I loved her history classes. I didn’t understand the word “procrastinate” as I was only 12 years old. I also couldn’t see how daydreaming was negative. She explained to procrastinate was “delaying doing something.” I replied, “ I wasn’t delaying; I was listening carefully, thinking, reading ahead at the same time in the textbook, imagining, drawing, and this is how I remember and come up with ideas, then I write quickly.” I guess I worked differently from other students and tried to act more like them to please her when I re-entered the classroom.

I reflected and watched other kids and guessed her idea of focus was to look at her face and stay on the same page of the textbook. Still, I focused on her words and conjured up images for memory recall at a later date, by reading ahead and then looking out the window, or doodling.

Procrastinating at University

At university, it was free. Classroom expectations of set behaviors were different, and I thrived. The libraries were spacious, with large windows and the lawns and gardens were the perfect places to think.

When I received an assignment at university, I would write it the night before it was due, and edit it on the date of submission. I wasn’t procrastinating. Like school, I was reading, drawing, and thinking for weeks. I would synthesize under pressure and write at the last minute. By this stage, I felt procrastination was seen as a negative concept and judgment by others, without knowing what I was thinking.

What appeared to others to be procrastination for weeks, gazing out the window, lying on the university lawn, or window shopping, was just how my brain worked. It is like my brain has an active machine and a quiet humming machine. It works on autopilot once I have overfed it with information. It reworks old beliefs, synthesizes, and creates new links and ideas from what I have read or heard. The final stage of creating my products for grading was placing artificial pressure and stress on myself to write or prepare a presentation.

I performed extremely well in traditional timed exams. After reading the core and supplementary reading list, I would look up every past paper and design new exam questions by re-working old ones the day before. Quotes stuck in my head, and I could remember them as my university courses were meaningful. The day before the exam, I would use my alarm clock and write 12 essays from questions I designed from past papers, to prepare for my exams. I would often get 100%.

I won three prizes for my grades when I graduated. Other students were surprised as I often didn't appear as if I was studying. I was very proud that day with my family. A student from my class came up and said, “ Who would have thought you would win those awards? I thought you would have the lowest grades in the class.” An interesting observation. I still wonder if she misunderstood me like Ms. Evans.

Creation is a Process and includes Procrastination.

Creation comes from intrinsic motivation, perhaps an external stimulus, and is a process, not an immediate product. Just because someone doesn't appear to be taking action — don’t assume they are procrastinating. Maybe they think and behave differently to you.

Let's release any guilt when we procrastinate. I also think we shouldn't worry if we have no active morning routine. We don’t need to conform to how others study or work. Procrastinating is just thinking time. When you buy into the concept that delaying is negative, you construe procrastination as a negative behavior when it is merely part of creating an extended process.

If I were to re-enter that classroom.

Now, if I re-entered that classroom and met Ms. Evans again as an adult, I would like to tell her procrastination is a valuable process to create a high-standard original product. She inspired me to dream, be curious, voraciously read, travel extensively, live abroad to consume history and culture. I would thank her for stimulating my mind in the absence of the internet or technology to always be curious, think and make new connections and ideas. Teachers may not be aware of how they shape your future.

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Briddy is an Australian writer enjoying freedom in her Feisty Fifties. If you enjoyed her writing — sign up for her email list so new stories go direct to your mailbox. She looks forward to connecting with other writers and readers around the world through Medium. Twitter handle is @BriddyBrigid.