I Like Having Chronic Sleep-Onset Insomnia

First off, it’s why I’m writing this story instead of sleeping

There are two sides to everything, and that’s true for insomnia too.

I used to hate my sleep-onset insomnia. I would lie away for hours, getting frustrated with myself because I couldn’t fall asleep. Eventually, it got to the point where I dreaded going to bed. Then, because I felt like I was never getting enough sleep, I would sleep in as late as I could in the mornings.

Thankfully, I was homeschooled, so sleeping in was an option for me.

Still, I tried reforming my sleep schedule again and again. It never worked.

Over time, that frustration has (mostly) melted away. Yes, there are some nights where I want to just knock myself out instead of lying awake staring at nothing!

But overall, I’ve learned that insomnia can be used to my advantage. All I had to do was change my mindset.

Frustration is useless

There are many things in life that you can change. Your job, your diet, your hair color…and a bazillion other things.

But there are some things you don’t have control over, like your height. Sorry, but it’s not going to change until you start shrinking in old age.

If you come across something that you can’t change, there is no point being frustrated or stressed about it. You are better off channeling that energy elsewhere, where it might be useful.

Likewise, I learned that being frustrated about my insomnia was useless. I was getting nowhere. But I still needed something to change.

As it turns out, it wasn’t my insomnia that needed to change. It was me. For a long time, I had been viewing my insomnia as a problem. But what if it wasn’t?

Just because society labels insomnia as a ‘disorder’ doesn’t mean that I have to treat it like a disorder. In fact, it could be an advantage.

Utilize what you’ve been given

Almost anything you view as a disadvantage in life can be used to your advantage. You simply have to learn how to utilize what you’ve been given. Instead of trying to fight my insomnia, I needed to learn how to use it.

This may be more difficult with other types of insomnia, but in the case of my sleep-onset insomnia, using it to my advantage was simple.

I stopped trying to get onto a regular sleep schedule. Instead, I went with the flow. Sometimes I don’t go to bed until four o’clock in the morning, although usually it’s between two or three.

Instead of lying in bed for hours, I have all of that late-night time to myself. I’m super productive at night. I can work alone for hours after everyone else has gone to bed.

I sleep in super late, but that’s okay. I work online, so I set my own schedule. I usually don’t schedule anything in the mornings, so I’m free to get up whenever I want.

Find what works for you

All of this guru advice about getting up early and writing X amount of words before noon is great…but not for me. If I get up early, I’m a zombie anyway. It’s a struggle to make a cup of coffee, let alone start writing.

So, contrary to all the early-morning advice, I’m happy with where I’m at. Everyone’s natural routine is different. I still have sleep-onset insomnia, but it works for me, and that’s what counts.

Let go of your frustration, flip your disadvantages into advantages, and do what works for you.