I Left Home to Be Free

The story of how I left home to get the space to grow

I not only left my home but also moved to another continent. I had to. I had to go to protect myself. I had to go to give myself space to grow. I had to go so that I could become the person that I am now.

The background story

Don’t get me wrong. I love my family. My parents raised me to be the strong, independent, and open-minded person that I am today. They gave me all skills I needed to not only survive but also to thrive.

I had lots of responsibilities growing up as the oldest one of two sisters, and I learned to carry these responsibilities with pride.

There was a downside. Kids in school can be very mean. They represent our society. And the way we treat others in public is how they treat other kids in school. Because kids just copy our behavior. And my sister was a victim of this behavior.

My sister wasn’t doing mentally well at those times. My parents and I tried to help her. She was given professional help too. Thankfully, she is doing amazingly well today.

I don’t see having depression as something to be ashamed of. It is an illness just like all the other ones who have to be treated. But our society unfortunately still doesn’t see it that way.

During her treatment, I spend a lot of time with my sister. My parents had to work and someone had to be there. Sometimes I wouldn’t go to attend my university classes because I had to stay with her. I couldn’t leave her alone. I didn’t mind it at all.

I was with her because I wanted to be there. I spend hours sitting in her room and inventing stories So I can successfully distract her mind. That is when I started my creative career.

I didn’t sacrifice my studies. Despite not going to all the classes, I didn’t struggle. I was just gifted with not needing to study a lot to pass the exams.

The plan

But during this time a plan grew inside of me. It was a wish for my future. I told myself that I would have to move away if I want to get my life. It sounds harsh, but that is how it was for me.

I had to move away to be free

Looking after another person, while I was still growing myself took a lot out of me. As much as I love my sister and I wouldn’t change anything on how I supported her and still do. I told myself I have to move at least 200 kilometers away from home. That was the rule I put on my future after university. Eventually, I put thousands of kilometers between me and my family. I moved to another continent. I moved away to have my life.

I moved. To grow. And develop. To live my life.

Connection to my family

I have abandoned neither my family nor my sister. I’ve been at work (on a sand dune in Namibia) talking to her on my phone in her toughest times when my parents couldn’t be with her.

She still talks to me about a lot of things and often asks me for advice.

I’ve sent letters to my parents explaining my decisions. Thanking my parents for letting me go and thanking for letting me grow. Thanking them for accepting me as who I am. Thanking them for always being strong. Strong for us.

I am thankful to them for being strong to their children.

And you know what? I do not regret any part of it. Not one step. I now have a closer relationship with my sister than I ever had. We used to fight a lot. Sisters always fight. I would even say they can fight more than boys. But we fight no more. The physical distance between us brought us closer to each other. We grew closer.

I am much stronger than I was in those days. And so is she. I can handle more stress than I did before. But I also know to say stop if it’s too much. I learned to set my own boundaries to protect myself from going down. I learned how to build the foundation for my growth.

That is why I had to leave. I had to leave to become the person who I am today.

And now I am ready to move back. For some time at least. To see how it feels to be back. To be closer to them, I moved back to my parents. I moved back to my sister. They obviously miss me. As much as I love the feeling of being free like a bird.

Sometimes that bird also has to land so it can rest. And take off again with more strength.