Life Lessons | Happiness

I Learned to Smile First, and Then Sailed the Tides with Gusto

It changed my life for the better, not only for myself but for the people in my life as well.

What makes a man truly unique, is it their compassion, courage, charisma, clarity — I believe it is a mix of everything. But there is something that truly stands out, that is perhaps willing to accept whatever circumstance that comes their way, with joy.

My life wasn’t always filled with hurricanes and thunderstorms. It was peaceful and filled with calming breezes that would soothe anyone’s soul. I was a kind, cheeky kid during my childhood. My main hobbies every day when I would wake up was to first run to my parent’s room, and say “Good Morning, Mama, and Papa.”

Then I would come back, and wake up my sister. She would tell me that, could you not, I have to sleep. But she would shortly after wake up and run with me as we would jump on our parent’s beds together on a Sunny lively morning. My sister perhaps is my most treasured person in the world. I love her to bits, I remember the day parents came with her. When I first saw her, my face lit up with a bright smile. I asked my mother If I could hold her.

My mother told me, all right. It was the first moment, I came in contact with a sweet angel. She smiled back as well. It gave me a rush of joy, and I was happy that I became someone’s big brother. I was almost 2 back then. My days before my sister, were filled with running around all day around my mother’s school. She was a workshop manager, as well as a vocational trainer. Her school trained women from different walks of life. My mother worked very hard, and I always admired how she spent her time putting all her effort into what she did. It gave me a lot of joy to see her that way.

I still remember, a few memories seeing my mother due diligently working in her office every morning. She is my role model of what a hard-working woman should be like because she just was a fantastic person. She not only managed her family, but also her work. The same could be said for my father who also worked far from us, but he used to come every now and then. We would cook burgers, and have a blast. All of this changed, when my sister was born. It perhaps became more centered around her. The entire world, but I was never worried. I was happy, I have never felt resentment towards my younger sibling.

My elders and parents have told me many times how I would guard my sister as a child. I wouldn’t mind if she would sleep with my mother. My mother once told me, that when she was born — “I started sleeping on another bed.” Even from a young age, I felt that I shouldn’t bud in as my baby sister mattered. She told me that, you used to whimper but when asked what’s wrong — I would say “nothing” with a smile on my face.

Somehow, even as a kid, I was always able to turn a fight between friends around. When I would court them, they would always listen. Going back to my early childhood years, I was able to make others listen. I don’t know why that happened but somehow my nature makes people open up. I have known this aspect, as I grew up. As a child I remember, I would get along with everyone. I never really fought with anyone. I never wanted to, I used to always forgive the other person, and hug them with the smile. Because in my eyes and understanding we were wasting time by idling over silly issues when we can smile and have fun playing.

This was my principle of living as a child, to have fun, and successfully live life not worrying about silly inconveniences and issues. Instead, looking past them and forgiving one another to relish joy once more. As I grew older I learned and harnessed other potential skills that helped to garner excellent results in both matters of life and education. I believe we can always learn from any experience, knowing we don’t have a bias. Seeing every situation in a hundred different ways is always helpful for making effective life choices.

All of this was my life motto as a child, I had a welcoming personality. I would do the same for my friends on a Sunday morning as well. After having breakfast, I would run towards my friend’s houses ringing the bell and waking everyone up. My bestie back then Azzy would wake up, and then we would run towards everybody else’s house and then wake them up as well — while taking a bite from their breakfast of course. 😉

Those were some fantastic days, I relish reminiscing them every moment of the day whenever I feel the need to. There have been some of my friends, who never made it past their twenties. I miss them a lot, some I lost to violence while some I lost to nature’s karma. They live within me as memories of the characters they possessed. They are what keeps me going, all the people that have passed away — I am their legacy. I can pray, hope, and take their dreams ahead. Perhaps one day, I would be able to make myself in such an individual that they can be proud of.

I can turn any situation around with a smile — that is the power of self-happiness. We can feel joy by choosing to feel joy. It’s all in the mind, and somehow I was able to always see things differently as I wanted to feel joy for myself as well as others around me. During my teenage years, life for me changed when these years dawned on me. I would say the world’s harshest realities were perhaps dawning on me. I had to struggle with life and everything in between.

My teenage years were a rollercoaster every day. Even in the harshest moments of violent conditions, I was smiling. Sometimes our choices when not carefully thought out might lead us to very disastrous places. But this happens to all of us when we don’t know how to choose between what’s good for us and what’s bad. I believe we tend to focus on the negativities inappropriately. We let society dictate our options when it is us who will choose them in the first place. That is where we escape from what society might throw at us. At times we can stand without moving our ground when we truly learn the difference between the good and the bad.

I learned perhaps about the other halves of the world, no one talks about — the other side of society that is hidden behind a thick veil. On one side, there are happy faces never truly knowing what truly lies and walks among them as they live in a bubble. It only happens when one stumbles out of that bubble do they truly see the horrors of society. I was thrown into that kind of disarray. It took my entire teenage years to get out and finally become strong enough to not only safeguard myself but other people as well.

These were the times that instilled the qualities that gave me my people skills and then some. There were times, I felt like I won’t make it but I also saw others sides where I did — Thus I tried all those other options and made it back home safe. It was a hard journey, full of life-threatening choices. There were choices where I had to sacrifice a lot of myself to get to the point I am here now. Peace comes at a cost, I learned that lesson fairly really well.

Happiness doesn’t cost a dime, and so does a perspective that looks towards feeling joyous even when the world is pitted against you.

During those years, I learned perhaps thousands of things when it comes to the world and society. It helped me to put myself away from all of these bubbles and into the open. Though my education suffered badly during those years, I had to live during those years. So my life depended more on my survival rather than formal education. Whatever I have learned in life is through my practical experience during those years. They fashioned me into an individual that can overcome any struggle, any pain as long as my perspective is intact.

I believe we should never run from hardships, nor should we escape failure using shortcuts. Face them head-on for the first time and then learn to use effective decisions that will mitigate the risk of failure the second time. It will take you many hits until you learn that you can hit back as well. It comes naturally to any man, woman, or child for that matter. There is a moment where we can use fear itself to fight the tragedies of life. Fear can be used as a weapon as well against the forces of evil or people who are aching to put you down. Fear is perhaps every man whether good or bad is influenced by.

Trust me even the vilest of fiends fear things. It is a natural response. It is a part of human nature. But there is something that will always keep you intact and that is what’s called a perspective of happiness and optimism. You can only go so far with just fear. You have to use everything that you are capable of. You have to find these aspects of yourself hidden deep within your soul. Hardships are the ways that you can unlock your potential. Striving through hardship unlocks satisfaction of one’s self.

There is joy, in hardships. You have to take a step back remove your hindsight bias from it all — you will see everything in a promising way.

There are perhaps many things I have learned over the years, and one thing I believe is that Practicality beats the Theoretical hypothesis any second of the day. You can read ten different ways to be happy, but if you don’t choose to be happy then you are wasting your precious time. Happiness is a choice, I know this fact all too well. Even though I am suffering from depression, all that trauma has caught back to me during this hard year. I have still been able to keep my composure in doing what I love and that is writing my thoughts in pen and paper.

I have had many hobbies over the years, that was my therapeutic tool. During my teenage years, I dabbled in art and photography. In my Adulthood, I worked on a startup or two and tasted entrepreneurship — failed many to learn the things that will help me on my next venture. If I fail to smile at times, I remember the last time that I was happy. I channel that feeling and I can smile back again.

Music perhaps has been my hobby with a friend of mine during the past few years. We make minor symphonies together. He does the work, I do the directing. 😆

Life has calmed for the past few years. I have been able to make smart choices and have spent my life with the people I wanted to. People who raised me with love and compassion. Who perhaps gave me the best lesson in life,

Happiness is best channeled by a smile that stands even the harshest of hardships because you look forward, and past the things that make you blue. You can see a brighter side to life, and the exciting stuff it awaits for you.

Thus, even if I am suffering from symptoms of depression(stress headaches). I can always smile and laugh with an energetic response towards the pain never letting it win. I will never let life push me down. Instead, I will stand first steadfast and move wherever life might take me with a smile on my face.

As I am looking forward to what’s in store for me on the other side of the hardships that await me. I am smiling and waiting patiently for the next challenge life will be sending my way. Until then, I bid you farewell and a bundle of joy.

Thank you so much for reading.

Stay Blessed and Stay Safe! ❤️