I Just Made Love to Myself in the Shower…
And why you should too!
TL: DR — get your mind out of the gutter, this article isn’t about masturbation, it’s about mindful bathing and the associated mental health and immune system benefits.
I am an experienced time-traveler, and I’ve spent most of my 20s and 30s “making up for lost time”, which is to say that most of the time my mind was busy worrying about a future I was afraid of, or running from a past that I was ashamed of. Nowhere was this more present than in my bathing and hygiene practices as I listened to audiobooks or podcasts or planned relentlessly while washing my body, rarely focusing on “being in the shower” or engaging in self-care. I was physically in one place while my mind was already handling the next item on my agenda, rendering me unable to feel joy in the present moment.
Most of my showers were spent planning my drive, planning what I was gonna say, thinking of who I should call while driving, and generally running through my never-ending to-do list; God forbid if I didn’t make productive use of such a low-level activity like bathing!
Neuroscientists in the 1990s discovered that when our minds wander, they switch into “autopilot” mode, enabling us to continue doing tasks quickly, accurately, and without conscious thought. The autopilot mode of the human brain was later coined the Default Mode Network (DMN) and it is where the mind goes when not consciously engaged. According to research, we spend more than half of our lives on autopilot.
Do you think about brushing your teeth? How about eating? What about that ride to work you do every morning? You get the point, most of our daily activities are automated, especially our bathing practices.
As a non-stop doer, I couldn’t imagine showering, driving, or cleaning without trying to stack it with as many productive activities as I could, as you can imagine this grew exhausting as I got older and was largely the reason I turned to contemplative practices like meditation and other forms of mindfulness to allow myself to get a break…from myself.
Slowing Down
Over the last 4–5 years as I cultivated a variety of mindfulness tools and practices into my life, including but not limited to meditation, yoga, plant medicine, music, walking, etc. I was able to get more and more present in the now and then use that level of presence to improve other areas of my life.
The first few years of my search for Zen focused mostly on avoiding that which I did not want, like anxiety, depression, stress, fear, and rumination as opposed to taking the time to create more of what I did want in my life like love, joy, bliss, contentment, and happiness.
Eventually, this led to me spending more time in nature reconnecting with the planet, animals, plants, myself, and the present moment. I would find myself watching animals bathing themselves intentionally and joyfully, present with nothing but their body, taking the time to be thorough and diligent, and I wondered why we Homo sapiens don’t do the same in our bathing practices. Right then and there I decided to take a page out of their book and to see if maybe the animals were on to something and I began to slow down and to take intentional showers, albeit without using my tongue.
Healing Hands
This past year I began studying and learning about shamanism, and I received a Reiki 1 attunement from my Shaman mentor, which connected me to the infinite healing energy of Reiki.
For thousands of years gifted individuals in just about every time, place, and culture figured out that a simple touch of their hands could improve mental and emotional well-being in people, plants, and animals that were suffering. The Polynesian Hunas called it Mana, the Iroquois call it Orenda, it was called Prana in India, Ch’i or Qi in China, Ruach in Hebrew, Barraka in Islamic nations, and others have called it orgone energy, animal magnetism, and Archaeus.
Physical touch stimulates the release of oxytocin, a powerful hormone, and neurotransmitter in our brain that is responsible for feelings of love and general well-being while also helping to manage stress levels. It is thought to be one of the most potent chemicals in our bodies, it bonds new mothers and babies, and creates feelings of love and bliss when we have physical contact with other humans. The amazing thing is that we can stimulate the release of oxytocin by touching our own body and don’t even need another person present.
Why it's More Important Now Than Ever
In addition to the release of oxytocin, physical touch also stimulates the production of sIgA (secretory immunoglobulin type-A). Secretory immunoglobulin A is greatly influenced by positive and negative emotions in humans, and it is our immune system’s first line of defense against pathogens and infections.
With all of the separation and isolation we have experienced due to the pandemic, as well as our growing dependence on screens for connection, it is more important than ever to connect with our bodies and keep them as healthy as possible, providing our own healing touch and loving energy. Conscious bathing will not only heighten positive emotions like love and compassion for yourself, but it will also activate those feelings towards others. Even those with different beliefs and opinions, and I am sure you may know one or two people on your social media feed that could use a bit more compassion and patience at the moment.
Take the opportunity and the time to build positive emotions and affect toward your body, generate feelings of self-worth, feel gratitude for the gift of this body, the ability to exercise, to take a hot bath with indoor plumbing (something that didn’t exist only a couple of hundred years ago). Take stock of all the things you are grateful for, including, most importantly, the body that allows you to experience life — the container for your consciousness.
So How Do I Make Love to Myself in the Shower?
Like most things in life, the set and setting are the forerunners to experience, so let's start with the following:
- Light some scented candles.
- Play some relaxing music, nothing too distracting. Sound bowls make for great background music or choose other healing, ambient tunes.
- Get the temperature of the water and the room just right.
- Set an intention for how you want to feel and the feelings you want to create after.
At first, spend a little time in the shower feeling the water on your body, feeling the breath in your lungs, using your eyes to take in your visual field and just becoming as present as possible.
Next, start by charging up the energy in your hands, placing them on your heart energy center or heart chakra, and taking several breaths in and out. As you do this you its best to think about all the things you are grateful for, think about the loved ones in your life, and about all your blessings and gifts.
Once you’ve charged up your hands with the energy from the heart, move them from chakra to chakra pausing to take several breaths for each chakra, while intentionally sending positive thoughts and emotions to each of the energy centers of the body.
After intentionally loving the chakras/energy centers, gradually move your hands around the body, move your joints and limbs through their full range of motion as you send positive loving energy to those body parts for the joys it brings into your life.
Here Are Some Examples of My Affirmations:
- I acknowledge and love my legs and feet for they let me experience hiking, running, walking, jumping, dancing, and generally gliding me along this giant blue marble spinning around the sun.
- I acknowledge my hands and my arms for being able to connect me with my beloved, to hug my child, to help a parent or sibling when they need a hand.
Once you have gone through all the chakras and the joints, place your hands on your cheeks like you would hold a loved ones face, and acknowledge yourself for taking the time for some self-care, and then finish it off with a nice big self-hug gently rubbing and holding your shoulders and your arms and massaging any sore or tender areas.
Be thankful and grateful for every part, for every bump and every bruise, for every mark left on your beautiful body that can say, I lived and I lived fully, I used all that was given to me to enable this experience of life.
I would love to hear about your intentional bathing experience in the comments. Thanks, and namaste.