I Just Handed In My Notice And Sh*t My Pants!

Well… one of those things is true, the other is figurative.

I can reassure you now, no human excrement made its way into my pants when I handed in my resignation letter.

Ever since I started my latest job last year, the intention has been to quit to go full time with my travel blog.

I have been biding my time, accumulating money and increasing traffic to my site before I did the inevitable.

No matter how much I thought about this moment and what I would do when it arrived, nothing prepares you for that moment.

It's not that big of a deal. I have handed my notice in my before multiple times, but this time it’s different.

This time I am doing it so I can follow a passion and be the master of my own destiny.

I am taking the leap into self-employment. I am going into uncharted territory, and that is scary.

Jobs are easy. You go into work, do what is expected of you, and leave. You can be on autopilot for the majority of the day, and nothing will come of it.

Working for yourself is different. Once you cross that line, you become the master of your own destiny. While it is empowering, it is also terrifying.

There are no more excuses. You have to make it work, otherwise, you’re back where you started.

It was these very thoughts that caused me to, figuratively, poo my pants!

Facing The Fear

Quitting your job to go travelling was scary. I remember doing it way back in 2012.

The feeling of walking out of my job never to return was incredible. But, then the feeling of not knowing what was going to happen next was both exciting and scary.

I knew I was going to travel to Australia, I just didn’t know what it was going to entail.

I wasn’t the travelling I was afraid of, it was the unknown.

Now, if I quit my job to go travelling, I wouldn’t have the same feeling. I have done it multiple times, so I’m used to the feeling.

Quitting my job to work for myself is a completely different proposition.

This is something I have wanted to do for as long as I can remember. When I graduated university I was underwhelmed by the job opportunities that were available.

Why would I want to sit in an office, or do menial tasks that I got no fulfilment out of for a living?

Obviously, without a job and no money coming in, you’re not going to get very far. A paycheque is a necessity, that’s why people persist in these jobs.

They are wedded to the system. Without a wage coming in, you will soon be out of the system.

In the back of my mind, there was always a thought, there must be a better way to make money that doesn’t involve wasting away in an office for the rest of my days.

While I have spent the past 11 months doing just that, it has been with the purpose of a goal in mind.

To go self-employed with my travel blog.

Now that I am close to realising this goal, I am struck by what I should do next.

How do I organise my time? How do I pay my taxes? Is it okay if I take a day off?

These questions are all answered for you when you work for someone else. When you work for yourself, they suddenly become pertinent.

With no one telling you what to do, what are you supposed to do?

It’s scary but empowering at the same time.

I have wanted to be in this position for so long, but I’ve never really thought about what it would entail until now when I’m on the edge of achieving my goal.

All I know is that I’m afraid and excited about the future again. It’s a feeling I’ve not had for a while, and it feels good!

Channel The Fear

While I am afraid of what the future holds for me in self-employment, I would have been more worried if I didn’t have this in front of me.

The thought of working in an office for the rest of my days terrifies even more than working for myself.

It is this fear that I need to channel. This is the fear that I need to use when I am worried about how things will pan out.

The fear of being back in a place that I do not wish to ever return to.

The fear that I am feeling right now is good. It tells me I have made the right decision, it lets me know that instead of simply existing, I am living.

I may be apprehensive about the future, and what self-employment will hold for me, but I wouldn’t be looking forward to the future if I didn’t give it a shot.

Handing in my notice was a scary moment, but I have to wrestle with the fear, get it under my control and use it to my benefit.

Fear is a common state for humans. We are all afraid of something, it is our relationship with that fear which determines how we lead our lives.

We can either cower and run from it, or we can stare it down, face it head on and use it to better ourselves.

I choose the latter.

This story is published in The Startup, Medium’s largest entrepreneurship publication followed by + 374,357 people.

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