I Introduced Myself to Violence and We Became Best Friends.
Sort of… It’s a love-hate relationship as one could expect.
For what felt like a week, I was walking around the movie Fight Club. Brad Pitt perched on my shoulder advising I fight every person in sight.
I spent every minute reading the room, sizing up any possible foe.
It was crazy. Psychotic even.
Luckily, that version of me didn’t last long. A healthy serving of humble pie quickly showed me that I was definitely not “the guy” (a.k.a. the guy who thinks he can take anyone).
It’s pretty insane how intoxicating the first week of Jiu-Jitsu can be. You feel like a trained assassin!
Of course like most other noobs, I thought I knew more than I did. I genuinely walked around with my head held higher and chest puffier. It’s embarrassing to think about now because I’m so aware how little I knew.
Funny how that works.
You go from killer to imposter real quick. Especially when some scrawny eighth grader comes along and repeatedly forces you into submission.
I swear some of these kids are merciless.
Anyway, I caught a real glimpse of the laborious road ahead and made my decision.
I Introduced Myself to Violence.
Over the course of the following months, I was trained in the art of violence. The gentle art.
Literally.
In Japanese, “Jiu-Jitsu” means “gentle art.”
I trained against savages. From competitors to casuals and everyone in between. Forging together the system that is Gracie Jiu-Jitsu. I hold true to a philosophy of grappling with anyone, no matter the attributes or accolades.
This is where I became intimate with violence. I had to. It totally changed the way I think.
It seems that a lot of people attribute violence with a specific person or at least other people. To be real with you, I can think of a time in my life when I thought the same thing.
Until I met violence. The right way. I was introduced, not forced to meet. As it should be…
Jiu-Jitsu taught me that violence is a language. You just need to learn how to speak it.
I always attached a negative connotation with the word when ideally, there should be no connotation at all. Violence can be good or bad.
Allow me to explain:
The thing is, violence doesn’t have to be an all out clash of fists and egos. There is potential for other things. It must however, fall under two certain categories.
Violence is Either Constructive or Destructive.
Read that again.
It is all up to the person speaking the language, having the conversation, fighting the fight. Violence can be good, you just have to be fluent enough to make it that way.
I can confidently say, I have made stronger bonds using violence in a single five minute round than I have with words, gestures, and emotions in years of acquaintanceship.
I couldn’t say friendship because that just makes me look like a bad friend.
This language is spoken with the body instead of words. It’s unorthodox, I understand. Though, it still remains as one of the greatest teachers I’ve ever had.
It’s even so much deeper than that. Violence is a teacher, a conversationalist, a therapist, an artist, a builder and so on.
It is also a thief, killer, destroyer, and more.
It is up to us to learn this language instead of doing what I did, which was shy away from it.
From training Jiu-Jitsu, I see violence as a self defense. I see it as a teacher for not only myself but others I may have to use it against. At the end of the day, it’s impossible to know when you will have to defend yourself or your loved ones.
The ultimate goal of Jiu-Jitsu is to keep yourself safe while also keeping the aggressor unharmed. It’s called the gentle art for a reason.
We must keep an open mind to the fact that it is totally possible to render a human helpless without inflicting any pain on them whatsoever.
Final Thoughts.
Social altercations do not have to end in a lose-lose. If more people were introduced to violence in the correct manner, I think the world could be a better place.
Violence sits on a spectrum just like every other concept in the Universe. There is aggressive and playful as there is good and bad.
It used to be my enemy.
Now we’re best friends, who knew?
P.S. About that whole love-hate thing, it’s mostly love.
Now go train Jiu-Jitsu!
Thanks for reading! If you have a question leave a comment, I will respond!
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