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Abstract

ting opportunity, but it was way too much work for the type of position it was.</li><li>Not negotiating the salary for that position. This one really makes me cringe.</li><li>Changing my freelance writing niche lots of times. I would’ve made more money if I’d chosen a high-paying niche early on and stuck with it.</li><li>Ignoring my gut feeling about freelancing. I love writing freelance projects for clients, but it’s not all that I want to do.</li><li>Not diversifying my income with multiple streams of income early on. I’m still kicking myself for this.</li><li>Lacking clarity around what I really want to do. I’m not sure how I could’ve come to this clarity earlier, but I wish I would have.</li></ul><p id="6a16">As you can see, my biggest regrets have to do with not making more money, faster. If I’d done that, I’d be in a better position financially, which is a goal I’ve had for five years.</p><h1 id="94bd">Don’t Expect Living at Home to Be Easy</h1><p id="50c4">Sure, it’s easier in a lot of ways. I’m getting a big break on things like rent and utilities. Plus, when I need a grocery item, I just add it to the list and it “magically” appears in the kitchen (after my parents have groceries delivered, that is).</p><p id="ed07">It’s also easy to live in a nice house when I’m not the one who’s responsible for the upkeep. I help with cleaning and cooking, but I don’t have to manage the household.</p><p id="bd26">So, what’s hard about living at home? Just because I get a break on some responsibilities and financial commitments doesn’t mean I’ve gotten closer to my goal of becoming financially independent.</p><h1 id="cdeb">Don’t Expect Success to Come Easily Just Because You’re Living on Easy Street</h1><p id="78e0">When you live at home, it’s easy to get stuck in the day-to-day rhythm of family life and lose sight of your goals. Don’t get me wrong — I’ve worked hard to get to where I am and I have made some money over the past five years. But I’m still not where I want to be.</p><p id="7ed9">While there are many conveniences that I enjoy while living at home, like having free wifi access and a nice office to work in, it doesn’t mean that success comes easily.</p><p id="19d8">To get to where I want to be — financial independence — I need to constantly remember my goal and keep track of my progress as a professional writer and entrepreneur.</p><p id="37dc">I also need to stretch myself by adding new goals

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and getting outside my comfort zone on a regular, even daily, basis.</p><p id="2efc">I may be in a nice environment with a supportive family, but that doesn’t mean that I can ease up on my goals if I want to achieve them in the next five years.</p><h1 id="517a">What to Expect When You Move Back Home</h1><p id="978e">Now that we’ve covered some things not to expect, let’s go into what your expectations should be if and when you find yourself needing to return home for a while:</p><ul><li>There will be an adjustment period. It’ll take some time to adjust to living with your parents again.</li><li>Your parents will want to know where you are and will expect you to check in with them when you go out.</li><li>There will be conversations or “family meetings” about how everyone is doing. (This is a really good thing, and I’m grateful my family does this.)</li><li>You’ll feel even more dependent than you actually are. At least, I do. I drive myself places, I cover some of my expenses, and I work for myself, but I still feel totally dependent sometimes.</li><li>If you have a timeframe in mind for when you’ll move out, expect it to change. Life happens, and that’s okay.</li><li>You’ll have to be flexible about your living space because you’re sharing it with people who are paying your way.</li><li>You’ll have to chip in, either financially or in terms of chores, or both.</li></ul><h1 id="b9ab">It’s Worth It to Move Back Home if You Need To</h1><p id="f852">If you find yourself in the position of having to move back home, my advice is simple:</p><p id="e0dc" type="7">Don’t be hard on yourself. At all.</p><p id="766f">I used to have a lot of self-judgment and criticism about the fact that I needed my parent’s financial support when I’m in my thirties.</p><p id="ffc2">But you know what? It’s okay. Life happens.</p><p id="6831">Looking back, I can see and accept everything that led me to this point. If I had worked instead of going to grad school, I think I’d be in a very different place right now. But here’s the thing: I loved studying theology. I loved my cohort. I wouldn’t change it.</p><p id="a10d">Plus, I know that my parents appreciate having me at home. They tell me all the time. Just because the culture in the United States emphasizes individuality doesn’t mean living by yourself is always the best thing. Oftentimes, it’s best to go your own way. Even if that means going back home.</p></article></body>

I Haven’t Moved Out After 5 Full Years of Living at Home

And I’ve Learned to Be Okay With That

I’m such a loser.

This isn’t what I wanted.

How’d I get here?

These are thoughts that used to creep into my mind countless times per day. (It’s estimated that we think 60,000 thoughts per day and most of them are repetitive.)

Those are some pretty nasty thoughts, and I don’t recommend them. Like many people, I suffer from anxiety and self-doubt.

I remember five years ago when I moved back home with my mom and dad. I planned to get a job and move out ASAP. It’s not that living at home is terrible; it’s just that I had ambition. I still do.

I decided to move back home after graduating from seminary without a job. This required moving across state lines and leaving the place that had been home to me for ten years. I’d gone to college and grad school in that city. And I’d developed a strong sense of community there.

Still, I knew it was time to go. Not only was I unemployed and unable to pay rent where I used to live, but I was also ready to move on and try new things. My parents live in a suburb that’s part of a major metropolitan area. I figured I’d be moving up in the world. I’d have access to concerts, theatre, and events that didn’t happen in my smaller city.

It turns out I was wrong. I’d attended many more cultural events in my college town than I have in my new-er city. (I’ve been here for five years, so I guess I can’t call it “new” anymore.)

In five years, I’ve had plenty of time to think and reflect on where I went wrong and why I’m not where I want to be financially yet. Here are some of my “growing edges” (sounds better than “failures” or “setbacks”):

Taking the first job that was offered to me. It was an exciting opportunity, but it was way too much work for the type of position it was.
Not negotiating the salary for that position. This one really makes me cringe.
Changing my freelance writing niche lots of times. I would’ve made more money if I’d chosen a high-paying niche early on and stuck with it.
Ignoring my gut feeling about freelancing. I love writing freelance projects for clients, but it’s not all that I want to do.
Not diversifying my income with multiple streams of income early on. I’m still kicking myself for this.
Lacking clarity around what I really want to do. I’m not sure how I could’ve come to this clarity earlier, but I wish I would have.

As you can see, my biggest regrets have to do with not making more money, faster. If I’d done that, I’d be in a better position financially, which is a goal I’ve had for five years.

Don’t Expect Living at Home to Be Easy

Sure, it’s easier in a lot of ways. I’m getting a big break on things like rent and utilities. Plus, when I need a grocery item, I just add it to the list and it “magically” appears in the kitchen (after my parents have groceries delivered, that is).

It’s also easy to live in a nice house when I’m not the one who’s responsible for the upkeep. I help with cleaning and cooking, but I don’t have to manage the household.

So, what’s hard about living at home? Just because I get a break on some responsibilities and financial commitments doesn’t mean I’ve gotten closer to my goal of becoming financially independent.

Don’t Expect Success to Come Easily Just Because You’re Living on Easy Street

When you live at home, it’s easy to get stuck in the day-to-day rhythm of family life and lose sight of your goals. Don’t get me wrong — I’ve worked hard to get to where I am and I have made some money over the past five years. But I’m still not where I want to be.

While there are many conveniences that I enjoy while living at home, like having free wifi access and a nice office to work in, it doesn’t mean that success comes easily.

To get to where I want to be — financial independence — I need to constantly remember my goal and keep track of my progress as a professional writer and entrepreneur.

I also need to stretch myself by adding new goals and getting outside my comfort zone on a regular, even daily, basis.

I may be in a nice environment with a supportive family, but that doesn’t mean that I can ease up on my goals if I want to achieve them in the next five years.

What to Expect When You Move Back Home

Now that we’ve covered some things not to expect, let’s go into what your expectations should be if and when you find yourself needing to return home for a while:

There will be an adjustment period. It’ll take some time to adjust to living with your parents again.
Your parents will want to know where you are and will expect you to check in with them when you go out.
There will be conversations or “family meetings” about how everyone is doing. (This is a really good thing, and I’m grateful my family does this.)
You’ll feel even more dependent than you actually are. At least, I do. I drive myself places, I cover some of my expenses, and I work for myself, but I still feel totally dependent sometimes.
If you have a timeframe in mind for when you’ll move out, expect it to change. Life happens, and that’s okay.
You’ll have to be flexible about your living space because you’re sharing it with people who are paying your way.
You’ll have to chip in, either financially or in terms of chores, or both.

It’s Worth It to Move Back Home if You Need To

If you find yourself in the position of having to move back home, my advice is simple:

Don’t be hard on yourself. At all.

I used to have a lot of self-judgment and criticism about the fact that I needed my parent’s financial support when I’m in my thirties.

But you know what? It’s okay. Life happens.

Looking back, I can see and accept everything that led me to this point. If I had worked instead of going to grad school, I think I’d be in a very different place right now. But here’s the thing: I loved studying theology. I loved my cohort. I wouldn’t change it.

Plus, I know that my parents appreciate having me at home. They tell me all the time. Just because the culture in the United States emphasizes individuality doesn’t mean living by yourself is always the best thing. Oftentimes, it’s best to go your own way. Even if that means going back home.