I Have Two Voices in My Head and I’m Coping With Life Better Than Ever
That’s because I learned which one to listen to
Voice #1 is that of my inner critic. (boo, hiss) It’s been around since I was a little kid, telling me day after day I’m not good enough. It’s always on the alert, never passing up an opportunity to find fault in me. If I choose to believe its critical words, I feel stressed out and worthless.
Voice #2 is that of my inner loving parent. It’s the new kid on the block. I discovered it only a few years back. Thank god I did, as it’s been a game-changer. When I soak in its words, I instantly feel loved and hopeful — like there is no person or situation I can’t handle.
The voice of my inner loving parent unconditionally loves me. It conveys to me I don’t need to be perfect. I only need to be myself and all will be ok.
I wish little Arty had a mom and dad like that as if I did, my adolescent and adult life would have been a heck of a lot easier.
But with years of therapy and regularly attending 12-step meetings of Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (ACoA), adult Arty discovered the voice of his inner loving parent.
And now, there is no looking back. The voice of my inner loving parent is the best mom or dad anyone can ever have. What’s really cool is that it comes from within, so nobody can ever take it away.
Hey There, Inner Critical Voice — I Got Your Number
Feel free to yap away. Go ahead and spout out your usual nonsense. I’ve heard it all before, — you’re such an idiot; I can’t believe you just said that; you suck at … (pick a,b,c, or d). Yada, Yada.
At this point, I couldn’t care less what you say. You know shit about me and that’s always been the case. You’re nothing more than a creative storyteller spinning your yarn for the sole purpose of torturing me.
You only exist to bring me down, and I’m not going to let that happen anymore.
I’m done suffering. It’s time for me to be happy. Actually, that time is long overdue. I may be far from perfect, but one thing I know is I’m a good person with a kind heart who deserves to treat myself well.
No longer will I allow myself to get sucked into believing your venomous messages. Now I have a new tool in my toolkit.
My Inner Loving Parent to the Rescue
I can’t tell you how good it feels to know you’re always there for me, waiting for me with open arms.
The very moment I reach out to you, I feel a whole bunch better. You don’t even need to give me advice. All I need is to feel your love, and it drives home the message I’m a worthy human being who deserves all the happiness in the world.
Between dismissing the voice of my inner critic (another round of boo, hiss)and turning towards you, I have it made. With your loving presence, there is nothing that is too much for me to handle. No situation or opinions of other people overwhelm me as I know you always have my back. And that you have faith in the loving, strong person I have worked so hard to grow to be.
My Wish For You, My Dear Reader
If you’re a person with an active inner critic, I hope you can find a way to free yourself from its grip. You have a supporter in me.
I don’t care how you manage to get there. Your way may be very different than mine. There are many ways to skin a cat.
Maybe all you need to do is say to your inner critic voice: f*ck you, I’m not listening to you anymore.
Hey, if that works for you, go for it.
All that matters is you learn to unconditionally love yourself for the precious, perfectly imperfect person you are. That we all are.
Life is too short to do otherwise.
I wish you well,
Art
Here are two gems of recently published articles I highly recommend you read.
By Deb Fiore: