I Have Social Media But Social Media Doesn’t Have Me

Summary

The author describes how reducing social media usage significantly improved their mental health and overall happiness by allowing them to focus on more fulfilling activities and reduce exposure to negative aspects of social media.

Abstract

The author shares a personal journey of social media use and its impact on mental well-being. They recount how excessive use of platforms like Facebook affected their mental health, leading to a decision to drastically cut back on social media engagement. After quitting Facebook for six months and then returning to use it sparingly, the author noticed a marked improvement in happiness and mental clarity. They replaced time spent on social media with activities such as playing video games, writing, learning languages, and watching educational videos. The author also notes a reduction in anxiety by avoiding political propaganda and not worrying about missing out on events or group activities. The shift in social media use has led to a more intentional and less reactive approach to online interactions, contributing to a happier and more balanced life.

Opinions

Social media, especially Facebook, had a detrimental effect on the author's mental health.
Quitting Facebook and using it only minimally has been instrumental in improving the author's mental health.
The author believes that social media platforms contribute to information overload and unnecessary stress, particularly through political ads and the propagation of misinformation.
The author values real-life connections and experiences over virtual interactions and has found joy in activities unrelated to social media.
They advocate for intentional and controlled use of social media to avoid its negative effects.
The author feels that unplugging from social media has allowed them to regain control over their life and focus on personal growth and happiness.

Ignoring the noise and only using social media in small increments has made me happier

I used to love Facebook. I’ve been on the platform going on 16 1/2 years this month. I wasn’t so into it in my first few years but for the better part of a decade, I was in there a lot. In fact, I loved Facebook so much that I was spending more than eight hours a day on it with some days being much longer as recently as two years ago.

It is no coincidence at this point that since I quit the platform two years ago today and then only came back sparingly about six months later, my mental health took some time to recover. The toll that the decade of social media took on my mind wasn’t inconsequential but I just didn’t know it at first.

I felt happier in the time that I didn’t spend on the platform. Instead, I started spending more time on things that I enjoyed. I also found new things that I enjoyed in this timeframe.

First, I started playing video games a little more. Then I found writing and started doing that more. I also started learning languages again. Then I found more and more educational videos to watch. I was filling my head with things that weren’t social media-related.

This applied to not only Facebook but to all of my other platforms as well. I was on Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, and Reddit a lot too. I had to find a way to break my social media addiction. I was in a rut. At first, I thought that I was on social media because of the rut but I soon started finding out the opposite to be true. I was actually digging my hole deeper being on there.

It started with political ads and videos. We now know that Facebook has allowed outside forces to mess with them for years now. I bought it at first but then when I left, I decompressed and came into things with a more level head. When I stopped buying the hype and started getting my news, especially when it came to politics from more reputable sources, I calmed down a lot.

I also stopped worrying about many things that I was missing out on when I stopped paying attention to social media. When I lived on Facebook, I was an administrator or moderator for several groups. I was always focused on worrying about what others were doing. On a bigger scale, I would always look to see what my friends were doing and either join them because of the scrolling or get upset or frustrated that I wasn’t invited or wasn’t doing it.

On this day exactly two years ago to the date now, I said, “You know what? This platform has been the cause of so many of my real-life problems and I’m not going to choose to be miserable anymore.” I simply deactivated my account and walked away.

If it weren’t for Medium and wanting to promote my writing, I wouldn’t have ever logged back in again, even if that means I’d miss an event, a friend’s birthday, or a funny meme. It doesn’t make a huge difference in my viewership but it’s certainly not nothing.

These days the way I use Facebook is that I’ll log in for a little bit before I write. I’ll see if I have anything absolutely important to my own life that I need to address. If not, I just close the tab again. My Messenger notifications come through on my phone and laptop separately so I never have to keep it open to read what someone wants to tell me. If it’s not urgent, it can wait.

This has contributed to a larger part of my relative happiness at this point. I don’t need to be notified of every little thing 24/7. I can simply view Facebook or any social media app at my leisure. I don’t have any of the notifications on in any of these apps.

I just open them in the browser instead of carrying the app on my phone and reading what I want to when I want to. I don’t crave the attention or the “high” it used to give me when I’d check my phone every few seconds even if I was in the middle of something important.

I have more time to spend with my partner. And as I said before, I no longer need it and I can enjoy things that aren’t related to social media. I write a lot. I learn a lot. I enjoy life a lot, a lot more than I used to even though it’s not perfect.

Yesterday was my birthday and I was only on Facebook to share the two stories I published yesterday. I did, however, go on Instagram to watch a friend’s video, something that I don’t normally do these days but it was a fun one that she shared for my birthday and I just had to watch.

I’m not going to say that my life is perfect and that I’m 100% happy. No one can claim that. What I am saying though is that unplugging from social media and using it only sparingly has saved my life. It’s allowed me to focus on other things. It’s allowed me to clear my mind from external distractions more.

I’m still not 100% on that either as I can spend an inordinate amount of time in chatrooms with my friends but that feels different than how social media controlled my life. It no longer controls me and I hope I inspired you to see how you can get there and how to follow my example of controlling it. Then you’ll know the feeling that I describe. Be well, friends.

HAPPINESS/LIFE/MENTAL HEALTH

I Have Social Media But Social Media Doesn’t Have Me

Ignoring the noise and only using social media in small increments has made me happier