I have PTSD

Summary

The author is grappling with PTSD and anxiety due to their mother's mysterious disappearance, facing challenges with their father's reluctance to accept their condition and the need for professional help.

Abstract

The author shares a deeply personal story of coping with the loss of their mother, who vanished under unexplained circumstances 12 years ago. Despite the lack of closure, the author has sought therapy against their father's initial wishes, leading to a diagnosis of PTSD, anxiety, trauma, and depression. The author advocates for the importance of professional mental health care, despite their father's preference for religious coping mechanisms. The author's journey includes emotional struggles, medication, and attempts to locate their mother with the help of media outlets and law enforcement, to no avail.

Opinions

The author believes that seeking professional help is crucial for understanding and managing their trauma, despite disapproval from family and friends.
The author feels that their father's Christian beliefs lead him to dismiss the need for therapy and to suggest religious practices instead.
The author expresses frustration with the lack of updates on their mother's case and the inability of professionals, including a private investigator, to provide new information.
The author suggests that there is a stigma within their Christian community regarding therapy and mental health treatment.
The author is reaching out to the public for any information about their mother, Eileen Peluffo, showing a persistent determination to find closure.

I write this to seek closure for my heart’s sake

Photo by author

The last time I saw my mom was 12 years ago. We were close growing up and she gave us everything she could when she was with us. But she wasn’t okay. She had a battle with bipolar and schizophrenia that took her away from the family. When I was in high school she went missing. My dad, brother and I were in Costa Rica on a mission trip and when we returned to the US the police said they had impounded her car as they found it abandoned on I 95, and that her purse was found on Daytona beach. There haven’t been any updates on her case since then leaving us with the mystery of her cold case for 8 years. I have been lost without her. Living in a fog with the constant disapproval from friends and family just telling me to, “just get over it.” but I just can’t just get over it. It feels like a part of me is missing and I need closure to know that she’s okay.

Dad is a Christian and for some reason, many Christians disapprove of people getting therapy. He objected to me seeing a therapist at first but I went behind his back and consulted one. I know that seeking professional help will help me understand what I’m going through because I can’t handle the trauma of the mysterious loss to eat at my brain every day.

The therapist said I have PTSD, anxiety, trauma, and depression. They prescribed me medication to help me deal with what I feel daily. Sometimes I get flashbacks other days I have emotional meltdowns because I don’t know where she is. I’ve distanced myself from my family because they don’t understand how I feel as I learn to process what has happened to her. Even though we don’t know anything.

I suggest getting professional help if you ever need counseling because therapists can help you heal from whatever trauma you’re experiencing. It’s not a sin to see a therapist or medicate yourself if that’s what you need. The help is there for a reason.

So dad doesn’t want to accept that I have PTSD or trauma. He downplays my emotions and tells me to read the Bible instead. We have fought every time I tell him that I miss her and if I make mention of her he dismisses my concern.

I feel confused because I know God loves her but I find it hard to believe when I feel that He took her from me. I wish I could go back in time and tell her that I’m here for her. She never had to disappear on I95 if she knew where the family was back home the whole entire time.

I’ve done all I can do to try to find her. I’ve contacted Dateline and Murder Mysteries to see if they could help me. But not even the private investigator that I hired or even the police assigned to her case can give me any updates on her whereabouts. She’s completely vanished.

If anyone has any information or knowledge about Eileen Peluffo please call contact the Volusia County Beach Safety Ocean Rescue at (386) 248–8131 or Volusia County dispatch at (386) 248–1777.

She had dark brown hair, died it burgundy red; dark brown eyes. She was about 5' 4" and very thin. I would appreciate anyone who could help out even if it is just one person.

I have PTSD

Dad doesn’t want to accept it

I write this to seek closure for my heart’s sake