I Have Over 100 Crystals, Yet My Anxiety Rages On

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xactly.Whether you believe in the “woo-woo” behind crystals or not, you can’t argue that they are just objectively nice to have around. They’re pretty, and they really do change the vibe of any room (even if that vibe is “slow down, crazy”). The thing is, I do believe they have helped improve my mental health. Is it a placebo effect? Is is because they make my room more sparkly? Does each individual stone possess some unquantifiable healing energy that has yet to be studied in-depth enough to prove? No idea. But, they make me feel good, and getting rid of them would make me sad, so I keep them.<figure id="5798"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*[email protected]"><figcaption>A very small portion of my crystal collection, featuring Albert, my taxidermied alligator head. I live in Florida, this is totally normal, don’t question it.</figcaption></figure>The thing about anxiety is that it doesn’t care if I’m happy or not. It’s always there, like a little black rain cloud ready to shoot terror-lighting down my spine at any given moment. Whenever it strikes, it’s nice to have an arsenal of remedies at the ready, and yes, my crystals are a large part of that.Instead of trashing my pretty rocks, I use them selectively and with very specific purpose. When I’m feeling down on myself, I have certain crystals I grab. When I’m experiencing writer’s block, there’s another set of crystals that helps with that. When I’m having a panic attack, nothing helps like the cool weight of a big slab of labradorite sitting smack dab in the middle of my chest. Had I not tried everything in the beginning, I would never have found the mix that worked best for me, and I certainly never would have learned the underlying truth that has taken my anxiety from “crippling” to “mostly manageable”.</

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p>Much like healing a broken bone, mental health can’t be treated purely through sheer force of will. While it does help, simply tossing a crystal on your nightstand or forcing yourself to meditate every day is like going to physical therapy before you even put the cast on. Best case scenario, it doesn’t help; worst case, you end up hurting yourself more. Throwing crystals at your problems and expecting them to go away immediately isn’t realistic. We must allow ourselves the time and grace to progress. If tomorrow is better than yesterday, that’s great. If next month is better than this month, that’s even better. Going through the extra stress of forced holisticism was what ultimately taught me to slow down, and though it wasn’t an easy process by any means, it was worth it in the end.My anxiety isn’t going away any time soon. It’s something I’ve lived with for 20 years, and I will probably be dealing with it for the rest of my life. For me, it’s just the way I’m wired. Medicine, therapy, and every alternative remedy I’ve gotten my hands on have been helpful tools, but they won’t fix me, and that’s okay. There are always going to be bad days, but there are always going to be good days too. If I need to shove a hunk of smoky quartz in my bra or keep an obsidian sphere mounted on my bedroom window to feel normal, then that’s what I have to do.Bre is a part-time writer with a day job in the fitness industry. She is based in Orlando, FL along with her handsome fella and two cats. She enjoys writing about social issues, politics, spirituality, mental health, gaming, and, every so often, fiction. She’s still working on her personal website, but you can find her anytime on <a href="https://twitter.com/captainbre">Twitter</a> or <a href="https://www.instagram.com/breannafett/">Instagram</a>.</article></body>

Aggressive meditation may not be the answer.

I have an anxiety disorder.

“What?? A writer with anxiety?? Unheard of!” I hear you shout. I know, I’m basically a walking stereotype at this point, but hear me out.

Anxiety has been a part of my life since I was at least 11 years old. It took about 16 years of panic attacks and self medicating before I realized that “existential dread” wasn’t everyone’s default mode of being. Crazy, right?

For the past few years, I have put a lot of time and resources into combating my anxiety. On top of the costs involved in medical intervention (therapy appointments, prescriptions, these things ain’t cheap people!), I’ve spent thousands of dollars on holistic healing remedies. This includes everything from mindfulness journals, meditation cushions, and essential oils to yoga classes, CBD, and, yes, crystals. So. Many. Crystals.

Trust me when I say that I would try anything to ease the tension that consumes my life, and the results have been, well… mixed. The problem is, I tried EVERYTHING. I have devoted so much time and energy to distracting myself from my anxiety that it gave me — you guessed it — more anxiety. Apparently, this is counterproductive.

So what now? Do I send all of my beautiful crystals back out into the wild, dump my oils, and donate my half-read books to Goodwill? Well, no, not exactly.

Whether you believe in the “woo-woo” behind crystals or not, you can’t argue that they are just objectively nice to have around. They’re pretty, and they really do change the vibe of any room (even if that vibe is “slow down, crazy”). The thing is, I do believe they have helped improve my mental health. Is it a placebo effect? Is is because they make my room more sparkly? Does each individual stone possess some unquantifiable healing energy that has yet to be studied in-depth enough to prove? No idea. But, they make me feel good, and getting rid of them would make me sad, so I keep them.

A very small portion of my crystal collection, featuring Albert, my taxidermied alligator head. I live in Florida, this is totally normal, don’t question it.

The thing about anxiety is that it doesn’t care if I’m happy or not. It’s always there, like a little black rain cloud ready to shoot terror-lighting down my spine at any given moment. Whenever it strikes, it’s nice to have an arsenal of remedies at the ready, and yes, my crystals are a large part of that.

Instead of trashing my pretty rocks, I use them selectively and with very specific purpose. When I’m feeling down on myself, I have certain crystals I grab. When I’m experiencing writer’s block, there’s another set of crystals that helps with that. When I’m having a panic attack, nothing helps like the cool weight of a big slab of labradorite sitting smack dab in the middle of my chest. Had I not tried everything in the beginning, I would never have found the mix that worked best for me, and I certainly never would have learned the underlying truth that has taken my anxiety from “crippling” to “mostly manageable”.

Much like healing a broken bone, mental health can’t be treated purely through sheer force of will. While it does help, simply tossing a crystal on your nightstand or forcing yourself to meditate every day is like going to physical therapy before you even put the cast on. Best case scenario, it doesn’t help; worst case, you end up hurting yourself more. Throwing crystals at your problems and expecting them to go away immediately isn’t realistic. We must allow ourselves the time and grace to progress. If tomorrow is better than yesterday, that’s great. If next month is better than this month, that’s even better. Going through the extra stress of forced holisticism was what ultimately taught me to slow down, and though it wasn’t an easy process by any means, it was worth it in the end.

My anxiety isn’t going away any time soon. It’s something I’ve lived with for 20 years, and I will probably be dealing with it for the rest of my life. For me, it’s just the way I’m wired. Medicine, therapy, and every alternative remedy I’ve gotten my hands on have been helpful tools, but they won’t fix me, and that’s okay. There are always going to be bad days, but there are always going to be good days too. If I need to shove a hunk of smoky quartz in my bra or keep an obsidian sphere mounted on my bedroom window to feel normal, then that’s what I have to do.

Bre is a part-time writer with a day job in the fitness industry. She is based in Orlando, FL along with her handsome fella and two cats. She enjoys writing about social issues, politics, spirituality, mental health, gaming, and, every so often, fiction. She’s still working on her personal website, but you can find her anytime on Twitter or Instagram.