“I have no enemies.”
And why you have none as well
I am an angry person.
Or rather, I used to be.
A person I knew manipulated me.
He belittled, gaslighted, and squashed me with his gossip and lies.
Even with time’s healing, his actions continued to plague my mind and heart. Oh for so too long.
I usually wouldn’t wish pain or suffering for anyone.
But for him, I had real, raw, RAGING hatred —
To the point where I took up boxing and “self-defense” to punch him if I ever saw him again. I wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt me. I wanted to show him how much “stronger” I’ve become.
But…
I lost that anger.
The details are insignificant. I will not explain what has happened out of respect for certain people’s privacy.
What’s important is the fact that my hatred, anger, and plans for revenge all just somehow…withered away. Like a candle flame, burnt out of all its wax.
In the end, I was left with an emptiness — a disappointment that I could no longer get the revenge I craved.
So…
Recently.
I asked him for forgiveness myself.
Going against my philosophy of dealing with fake friends, I told him I wasn’t proud of some of the things I had done.
“Truthfully, I’m sorry,” I said.
It doesn’t matter how he responded. Frankly, I do not care if he is my friend or not.
What matters is how I move forward now.
For the first time, I forgave a legitimate enemy of mine. I showed someone who actually hurt me grace. And I asked for his grace — his forgiveness.
In peace, I move forward.
“I have no enemies.”
There’s no point in having them, after all.
Hatred in your heart — no matter how small — will only eat away at your soul.
You can’t shake it off. Believe me, I’ve tried.
If you label anyone as your “enemy,” you effectively give them power over you. You signal to yourself that they are worth your time and energy — your headspace and negative emotions.
If he is your enemy, you have already lost to him. Read that again.
Life is way too short to fight or be bitter about those who have mistreated us.
Yes, it sucks when people hurt us. It’s alright to desire revenge and want to get back at them. We are human!
We aren’t going to all like each other. We aren’t going to all agree with one another, either.
But that doesn’t mean we should hate each other.
Just because someone isn’t your friend doesn’t mean they are your enemy!
Tupac said it best:
Just because you lost me as a friend, doesn’t mean you gained me as an enemy. I’m bigger than that, I still wanna see you eat, just not at my table.
Don’t waste your life trying to get back at people who have harmed you.
Rage and revenge will only satisfy your ego in the short term and leave you feeling hollow…
But forgiveness and compassion will heal your heart forever.
Of course, we must fight when we need to.
I am NOT saying we should become pushovers and not stand up for ourselves. I am NOT some peace-loving hippie or idealist.
Quite the opposite, actually.
I am encouraging us to be strong.
We must put our foot down and fight for ourselves and our loved ones when we are called to do so.
But we must fight with compassion and candor — forgiveness and grace — using strength over toughness.
Some of us may think we need to be TOUGH — to solider through life and all of its ugliness.
If you are a parent, you probably relate to feeling the need to shield your children from the evil of the world.
If you have been through hardships, you may feel you need to keep on thick skin — a metaphorical armor to push through enemies and “not care about anyone.”
This is all understandable.
But being strong is so much bigger than that.
Being tough is like wearing armor that makes you stiff. It’s a heavy burden on your heart that closes you off from being vulnerable with people.
But if you are strong, you are soft, flexible, and tender-aggressive. You do not need any armor — your enemies cannot hurt you no matter what they do or say.
The (wo)man of peace who doesn’t harbor any hatred or malice against their enemies is an immortal Being of Light.
And the Being of Light is stronger than the Knight of Armor.
We enter this world with no enemies.
We can leave this world the same.
This is why you have no real enemies. No one is truly your enemy.
By default, we are Beings of Light. And we can become them once again.
For those who hurt you, choose to forgive and forget.
And sometimes, ask for forgiveness. Admit fault when it’s due. You are not infallible.
Jesus said it best 2,000 years ago:
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
When you say you have “no enemies,” something phenomenal happens.
In a weird way, you forgive all who have hurt you — without actually taking the mental brain power or emotional hardship to muscle through and actually FORGIVE your enemies!
Plus, by acknowledging that you have “no enemies,” you also acknowledge that the harm others have inflicted on you doesn’t affect you anymore and it will NOT affect you moving forward.
You have forgiven, forgotten, and let go of your enemies — truly having none.
Your Takeaway Message
There’s no point in having any enemies.
Life is too short to carry any hatred or grudges. They only destroy your soul.
Let go.
Forgive them. Forgive yourself.
You have been hurting long enough, haven’t you?
Set yourself free from the chains in your heart. They are heavy.
And move forward in peace.
