Summary

The author, Chuck Roast, discusses his struggle with having numerous creative titles for stories but lacking the follow-through to develop them into full narratives.

Abstract

Chuck Roast, a prolific generator of story titles, finds himself with 44 potential titles but no recollection of the ideas behind them. He describes his process of jotting down titles and sometimes their subtitles, only to forget the intended content. The article humorously reflects on his dilemma, offering examples of titles and the fleeting thoughts that accompanied them. Roast also muses on the unrealistic expectations people have on dating apps, the overemphasis on penis size in sex stories, his own aging process, and the serendipitous nature of his ideas sometimes appearing in other authors' works on Medium. Despite the challenge, he remains determined to capture his ideas more effectively by writing summaries. The piece ends with a self-aware note that his writing is now for his own satisfaction, inviting readers to join him on his journey.

Opinions

The author satirizes the clichéd profiles found on dating apps, highlighting the discrepancy between people's desires and reality.
He criticizes the lack of stories addressing the issue of vaginal size in relation to sexual satisfaction, suggesting a bias in the focus on penis size.
Roast humorously suggests changing his age range on dating profiles to attract older, wealthier women, likening himself to a "sugardude."
He expresses frustration with Medium's algorithm, which he believes may be sharing his story ideas with other writers before he can fully develop them.
The author acknowledges his own shortcomings in remembering the context of his story titles, recognizing the need for better note-taking practices.
Roast concludes with a reflective stance on his writing process, emphasizing that his primary goal is now to write for his own happiness rather than to please his audience.

I Have Forty-Four Titles Waiting To Be Written About, But Can’t Remember Why I Wrote The Titles

So I decided to write about the titles.

I am a literal fountain of ideas, spewing one-liners throughout the day, writing the title and, sometimes, the subtitle, before moving on to the next idea and title before I forget the one following that one. And so on. And so on.

‘Strategery’

I have this habit of starting a story off by beginning with the title. Unfortunately, when I don’t add an outline or a summary to those titles, I lose track of what I was going to write about. And, if I do say so myself, some of those ideas were pretty damn funny to me.

The title is correct. I literally have forty-four titles sitting in my story queue that are in various stages of undress. In some of them, I got in a groove and freestyled for a couple hundred words, then got tired and took a nap.

On others, I just wrote the title thinking I would come back to it and finish it later. When I came back to it, the title was either too vague or too strange and the idea never came back to me.

There has to be a better way that doesn’t require me to work too hard.

I have included several of those titles in this story as examples of my conundrum. Feel free to steal/borrow them and write your own story with them. Yeah, I know. Why?

Title I

I have a vague recollection of thinking this title while I was perusing my dating app and looking for desperate women who might send me a pity “like” or message.

All those profiles of themselves were so clearly BS(read this in a falsetto, fake women’s voice): “Um, I want to travel, and see the Northern Lights, and drive a nice car, and a nice man who can treat me like I deserve to be treated, blah, blah, blah.”

Here’s what they want in a man: “I like a man with hair (bald men don’t waste my time), I need a man who will listen and be open to random kisses and public displays of affection while we travel the world on his yacht, and who likes home cooking from a live-in four star chef that he will have at his mansion on the beach. ‘Cuz I like to walk on the beach, too.”

And my thought was, “Yeah, and I want to have sex with a Greek Goddess and to live forever.” But that ain’t gonna happen, either.

Title 2

First of all, anyone who reads my writing knows I like to try and get the words “poop”, or “penis”, or “vagina” in all my stories. Which I just did: all three in one sentence. Woo-Hoo!

Anyway, I read all those sex stories written by men pretending to be women, and recently noticed an uptick in stories about the size of a man’s Elvis.

I did a Medium search and noticed not a SINGLE story about how it’s not the size of the man’s unit that is at issue. Nothing. And that’s just wrong! Usually, it’s the woman’s fault. Her vagina( I use the word in the general sense)is just too damn big! And we need to start talking about this issue, instead of taking all the blame! Who’s with me??

Title 3

Read it carefully. Apparently not only do women in my age group not want me, women outside my age group don’t want me, either. Therefore, I am changing my age group from 19–29, to 49 through 99. Maybe some rich, older lady needs a “sugardude.” If so, I’m their guy. We would have a lot in common. I like warm soup, bedtime toddies, take a lot of medications, and prefer naps and an early bedtime. I think I’d be perfect.

Title 4

Another Star Trek story. My inner nerd frequently rises when I am desperate for a story. I always liked it when Bones was trying to do some non-medical thing for Kirk and Bones yells, “Dammit, Jim! I’m a doctor, not a (fill in your choice here).”

This one had something to do with creativity, burnout, writer’s block. . .something like that. Unfortunately, once I wrote the title, I ran out of ideas. I freestyled it a little, but ran out of steam at about 350 words.

Title 5

Yeah, this one. Three days in a row, after writing part of a story, I see similar stories by other authors on my whatever it’s called page. Somehow, I’m not sure how, Medium is stealing my ideas and sending them to better writers to flesh out. I’ll figure it out, some day. And when I do, I’ll write those stories faster so they can’t beat me to the publisher.

Title 6

I had to go to work early one morning, after a long shift the day before. I was pretty tired. After I got to work, I realized my underwear was really uncomfortable. That’s when I noticed my underwear was on inside out. I thought there might be a story there, but couldn’t follow through. I’m still working on this one, though.

Conclusion

While writing this story, I came up with seventeen more titles. This time I wrote a brief summary on them so I wouldn’t forget the subject and the witty one-liners I came up with.

What’s the takeaway here? Well, when you run out of ideas, try to write about how you’ve run out of ideas.

Thanks for reading.

Chuck Roast is a brilliant man who sometimes cannot keep all the thoughts in his large brain in focus. He has failed more times than he has succeeded and considers some of his worst failures his biggest successes. He’s no longer writing to make you happy. He’s writing to make him happy. It’s his life, and you all are mere followers. . .he hopes.

That’s not too much, is it? I worry sometimes. Please don’t feel offended. . .

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