Summary

The article discusses the importance of appreciating small pleasures, or "little bliss," in overcoming life's minor frustrations, using personal experiences and psychological research to illustrate the transformative power of this practice.

Abstract

The author begins by recounting a personal experience of watching fireworks on a cold night, which evoked a sense of warmth and light in their heart, reminiscent of Murakami Haruki's concept of "shougakkou" or "little bliss." This experience stands in contrast to the author's previous life filled with "little annoyances," which were temporarily masked by alcohol. The article argues that true satisfaction comes from making changes rather than seeking comfort in addictions. The author emphasizes the necessity of recognizing and acknowledging both what annoys and what brings bliss, suggesting that doing so can lead to genuine happiness. Drawing from psychologist Shawn Achor's research, the article recommends listing three good things daily to foster a more optimistic perspective. The author shares their journey of overcoming depression and a toxic relationship by focusing on the positive aspects of life, as reflected in their Instagram posts. The article concludes by encouraging readers to appreciate the present moment and find joy in small experiences, suggesting that this mindset can significantly improve one's outlook on life.

Opinions

The author believes that alcohol and other addictions are ineffective, temporary solutions to dissatisfaction in life.
Making tangible life changes is presented as the only real solution to achieving satisfaction and happiness.
Recognizing and acknowledging both minor annoyances and sources of joy is crucial for personal growth.
The author promotes the practice of listing three good things each day to rewire the brain for more positive thinking, citing Shawn Achor's research.
The article suggests that focusing on "little bliss" can help balance out life's inevitable frustrations.
The author asserts that appreciating small pleasures can lead to a realization that life is not as bad as it may seem, fostering hope and happiness.

I Have Forgotten the Happiness of Small Pleasures Until Fireworks Lighted My Heart in the Cold

3 Reasons Little Bliss Can Change Your Perspective and Future.

We wrapped up warm and arrived in darkness. The sky was clear and stars were blinking subtly in the sky. The sound of traffic was distant, and we walked up the steep hill to find a deserted, flat ground.

The guys set the tube on the floor and began Operation Fireworks. The girls huddled together for warmth, and slowly moved away from the guys.

A guy set the wick on fire and swiftly ran away. The rocket made the noise of an airplane taking off, and shot to the starry sky. But its flame was much brighter than the stars. Green and yellow sparks suddenly exploded, in the shape of a ball, then a flower and slowly trickle down and finally disappeared.

I felt warmth and light in my heart and recalled Japanese author Murakami Haruki called the kind of happiness derived from the tiniest pleasure in life as しょうかっこう(shougakkou) - little bliss.

It All Started With Little Annoyance

Before enjoying moments of little bliss in life, I live a life filled with little annoyance.

Like everyone, my former life was composed of moments of frustration with an underlying tone of melancholy. I was unhappily single or in a relationship, and my job wasn’t great. But I’ve security, stability and some money.

I relied on a glass of wine to warm up an otherwise-awkward Tinder date, a distinctively dull conversation with colleagues in the pub, a desperate workday, and any other situations that I find annoying.

I tried to cure my little annoyance with alcohol. Now, this is problematic.

It’s obvious that alcohol doesn’t change anything fundamentally. Alcohol, or any other form of addiction, can only help you to temporarily gloss over your dissatisfaction in life. It’s not a solution, your job won’t become more interesting, you won’t find your true love through your addiction.

The reason people are getting addicted to alcohol, TV, or other things is that it helps us to forget the little annoyance temporarily. We want to stay in that realm of blank state for as long as they can, and as often as we are allowed to. One drink after another, one drunk night after another, slowly your tolerance built and you need more and more to contain yourself in that blank state.

The Real Solution

The real solution to anything less than satisfactory is to make changes. If you are concerned about your growing waistline, exercise, and diet; if you hate your job, change it; if you spend too much time watching TV, read a book.

You might think this is obvious, but you will be surprised how many of us walk a big circle before making changes.

I’ve seen people blaming their failures in life on mercury retrograde, so they try to fix this problem with tarot cards and cleansing sage. I’ve seen people not willing to break up a toxic relationship but instead cheat on their partner and bring more innocent people to unhappiness. Depending on what your fake solution is, sometimes they creep back in as a form of addiction and set you and your happiness further and further apart.

Addiction is a form of distraction, it makes you forget temporarily how shit your life is, enough to avoid the obvious real solution. Because, making changes is scary, and your addiction helps you to avoid facing the fear. In the long-run, it cuts you off from making real improvements to life.

I love making mindmaps and charts, here’s one that shows how we deal with little annoyance can stop you from attaining true happiness:

Replace Little Annoyance with Little Bliss

It’s important to recognize what annoys you and acknowledge it. Many of us can’t pinpoint exactly what annoys you.

For example, during the lockdown, many people said they are stressed, bored, and annoyed. But in fact, I think you can be more clear about what’s wrong — perhaps you fear the uncertainty, or you’re worried about your job security.

After you see this, you need to also start seeing the little bliss. Your life can’t be composed only of negatives, and even in a rock-bottom situation, it’s up to you to recognize and appreciate the little bliss.

What I haven’t told you is, when Murakami invented the word Little Bliss, he was actually talking about his experience of folding and putting away his clean and soft underwear. The tidiness and cleanliness gave me so much joy and grounded him to pursue his creative activities. So yes, we are talking something as tiny as that. The tinier the better.

Three Good Things

Psychologist Shawn Achor told us that by listing three good things every day for 40 days, the neurons in your brain will change and you will start to have a fresh perspective in life and become more optimistic.

At the lowest point of my life, I used my Instagram account to record three good things in life every day. I looked out for the moment that gave me joy, find a way to capture it as a picture, and dutifully wrote out three good things in life, every day.

Miracles happened, I walked away from depression and was no longer obsessed with the failing relationship I had with my then-boyfriend. I let go of him, and I found the will to live and the courage to make changes.

I couldn’t let go of my ex-boyfriend because I had the fear that I would never love like this again. What I now realize, in a much healthier and loving relationship, that it was all fear. Precisely, it was all fear accentuated by the amount of alcohol I’ve been drinking. I was too busy getting over my hangovers to see clearly and to really nurture the will and courage to break up with him.

Here’s the chart for an alternative process that will actually get you to happiness:

The Truth about Little Bliss

Truly appreciating and acknowledging the moments of little bliss helps us to balance out the little annoyance in life. It also helps us to be in the present moment, to really appreciate the aroma of a coffee, the kind words of a friend.

We had a natural smile on our faces when watching the fireworks. I was thankful for having friends and the space to witness this magical moment.

Life is really not that bad, I thought as the guys set more fireworks to the sky. As the rocket exploded, I believe again that my situation will change, and I’m already dipping my toes in the warmth of happiness. Because I’m now happy with the little bliss I’m experiencing.

If you enjoy my article and perspective of thinking, please give this article a clap and follow me on Medium Midori P. Yeung. You can follow me on Instagram and buy me a one-off coffee!