I Have Been Meditating for 30 Years — Here’s How To Not Be a Rubbish Meditator Like Me
Follow these 4 steps to have a great meditation every time.
When I tell people that I have been meditating for 30 years, they invariably assume that I must be an expert meditator. They even say sometimes:
“Wow, you must really be a master.”
I promptly tell them that I am not. I am not being humble or showing humility, I am really not. In fact, I would say that overall, I am quite rubbish at meditation. This is an objective statement by the only one who really knows. Me.
I have heard many mediation teachers say that there is no such thing as a bad meditation.
But there is. There is! I mean, if I sit on the cushion and, basically, think for 20 minutes without hardly any attempt to actually do the practice. Whatever the practice is — watching the breath, internally repeating a mantra, or invoking loving kindness towards oneself and others. Whatever it is. If I just sit there and plan or delight in new ideas or insights or think about football or fantasize or slip into a kind of unconscious haze — that is a bad meditation. Surely. And this is, kind of, what I do most of the time. And this has gone on for years — and years. Just sitting without actually doing the practice. And, therefore, by definition, I am a rubbish meditator.
Well, I am exaggerating a little. But you get the point.
So anyway — in this article, me (the rubbish mediator) will share with you how to have a great meditation every time. Because it is also true that over the years, I have learnt a thing or two. I must have, right?
First, what do I mean by great and what do I mean by meditation?
- By great, I mean that by the end of your practice your mind is quite still. You feel calm and refreshed. You are pleased with yourself for doing the practice.
- By meditation, I mean an honest and balanced attempt to simply be here and now — not as a mental concept — but as a felt sense by the simple practice of attention to breath. Other objects of mind such as thoughts and bodily sensations will come and go, but for the duration of the meditation you will softly return to the practice.
It’s 4 steps to go through in sequence:
- Prepare the body,
- Prepare the mind,
- Establish mindfulness, and
- Rest in stillness.
You’ll need about 45 minutes for the whole session. Do the practice in the morning and it should set you up nicely for the day ahead.
Step 1: Prepare the Body (20 Mins)
This step is all about preparing the body with movement and breathwork.
Movement
Traditionally, the practice of asana (the poses in Yoga) are preparation for pranayama (breathing exercises) which in turn are preparation for sitting meditation. So, with this in mind, I recommend at least some minutes of physical exercise before starting your meditation practice. A good one — and the one I do — is the Five Tibetan Rites.
The Five Tibetan Rites take about 10 minutes and they are a series of Yoga-like exercises. This article explains how to do them:
Breathing
Next I do three rounds of breathing. The method I follow is one part of the Wim Hof Method — the other two parts being meditation and cold water exposure.
- Get comfortable, for example, in a meditation posture or lying down.
- Take 30–40 deep breaths. For each breath, inhale deeply through the nose or mouth and exhale unforced through the mouth.
- After the last exhalation, inhale one final time as deeply as you can. Then let the air out and stop breathing. Hold until you feel the urge to breathe again.
- When you feel the urge to breathe again, draw one big breath to fill your lungs. Hold for about 15 seconds. Then relax for a few moments, breathing normally.
This is one round. Do three or four rounds.
You can find the full description on how to do the breathing on Wim Hof’s website and I recommend you read it:
Step 2: Prepare the Mind (5 Mins)
The next step is to prepare the mind for meditation. There are 5 sub-steps — each should take a minute or so. The sub-steps are based on those taught by the Triratna Buddhist Community.
Sit and check in on your posture
Sit. On a chair or on a cushion. The important thing is to get comfortable, enough so that you won’t need to move your body for the duration of your practice. You should be upright, but relaxed. Make sure your hands are placed in a stable position — so they won’t drag your upper body forward during the practice. Check your shoulders for tension. Try and relax them. Relax the eyes and forehead. Relax the jaw. Close the mouth. Small smile. Get ready to breathe through the nose. Eyes closed.
How do you feel?
Check in with how you feel. Do you feel sluggish, upbeat? Do you feel happy, sad? Be honest with yourself. Whatever you feel — you need to bring your whole self to the meditation practice.
What is your purpose?
Why are you meditating? What is your purpose? It is beneficial to remind yourself why you meditate. For me, it is simply to build the ‘awareness muscle’. I have concluded — over the years — that to be more aware is better than to be less aware. And the way to become more aware is to build the ‘awareness muscle’ and a good way to do that is to have a mediation practice.
Right energy
You need energy for meditation. But it should be a balanced energy. The effort should be not too much and not too little. Just right. Tune in with your energy level. If you are feeling sluggish, try to increase the level of energy by, for example, recalling a recent good meditation to generate enthusiasm. If you are feeling like you have too much energy, take some deep breaths and try to centre yourself.
Resolve to do the practice
This is where you set your commitment. Say to yourself: I will sit here and do this practice for the next 20 minutes (or whatever time you have set yourself). Afterwards, I can do what I want — but for these 20 minutes, I commit to the practice.
Step 3: Establish Mindfulness (15 Mins)
This step is where you establish mindfulness. The 4 sub-steps are based on scientific research and follow those outlined in: The Mind Illuminated: A Complete Meditation Guide Integrating Buddhist Wisdom and Brain Science for Greater Mindfulness.
Awareness of the external environment
Become aware of the external environment. Any sounds? Traffic, creaks in the house, noises in the apartment block, voices? Any other sensations? Prioritise sensations over thoughts. After a few minutes, move to the next sub-step.
Awareness of body
Stay generally aware, but focus the attention on the body. The feeling of your buttocks (I wish there was a better word for that part of the human body…) on your cushion or chair, your hands resting in your lap or on your knees, any tensions in your body. Sensation over thought. After a few minutes, move to the next sub-step.
Awareness of breath
Continue to stay aware and relaxed, but now focus the attention on the breath and how it moves through the body. How it comes in through the nose, travels through the chest, how the abdomen expands, and back up and out again. Just be aware of this. Feel it. Sensation over thought. After a few minutes, move to the next sub-step.
One point focus
Finally, continue to focus on the breath but place the attention on one point. It can be the entrance to the nose perhaps or the rising and falling abdomen. Your only job — your practice — is to just sit and keep coming back to placing your attention on this one point. Feel it, don’t think it. Relax. Relax. Relax. Don’t try and do anything or get anywhere or achieve anything. Just do the practice. Sensation over thought.
After a while, you will find that you are established in mindfulness. The body is breathing itself. You feel calm and peaceful. You feel content to just be where you are. Just sitting. Right here, right now.
When you have been in this mode for a while, you can move to the final step.
Step 4: Rest in Stillness (5 Mins)
Softly, gently — internally, ask yourself: Who am I? Don’t try to answer the question with the thinking mind. Just simply ask the question and let it be. Drop it into the mind. And just sit. Rest. Rest in the stillness.
It feels like I should write more about this step, try and explain it but no — let’s just leave this as is. It’s for you to explore.
After 5 minutes or so, gently bring your meditation session to an end. Remain seated for a few minutes before you re-enter your life.
And that’s it. Go through these 4 steps and you will have a great meditation every time. Don’t be like me and waste years being a rubbish meditator and having rubbish meditations.
