I Have a Plan For Surviving Boring Meetings, Be They Office or Production

In the past, I had to survive many boring production meetings.

We’ve all been there: trapped in the never-ending meeting.

As the clock ticks away, we silently pray for rescue or a vending machine stocked with decent snacks. I always entered a meeting with a cup of coffee. But fear not; I have a survival guide for you.

Rule #1: The Nod and Smile Technique

When the boss starts his speech, the energy shifts in the room; it’s essential to master the nod and smile. This involves nodding enthusiastically and wearing a benign smile, regardless of whether you understand a single word. It’s about giving the illusion of attentiveness.

Rule#2: The Hidden Snack Stash

Let’s face it: when we’re bored, we get hungry and don’t want our stomachs growling. Opt for quiet, non-crunchy snacks, like gummies or chocolate-covered raisins, to satisfy your cravings without drawing attention to yourself.

Rule#3: Mastering The Art of Fake Note-Taking

Nothing says “I’m engaged,” like scribbling notes on a legal pad, right? In reality, we’re doodling caricatures of our boss or writing our grocery list. Be careful placing your pen and pad so their eyes can’t see what you’re doing. Occasionally, look up and nod.

Rule#4: Avoid The Dreaded Eye Contact

In the wild, direct eye contact is often seen as a challenge. The same applies to meetings. Avoid direct eye contact with your leader at all costs. Gaze at the left ear like you do at the eye doctor without risking an unwanted invitation to participate.

Rule#5: The Emergency Exit Strategy

In dire conditions, it’s essential to have an emergency strategy. Whether it’s a sudden illness or faux bathroom break, make your escape with grace and dignity to avoid suspicion.

Conclusion:

So there you have it, your indispensable guide to surviving office or production meetings with your sanity intact. Remember that laughter is the best medicine when navigating these minefields. Stay funny and stay sane.