HUMOR
I Have A Net Worth Of $10 Million. These Habits Increased My Wealth
Implement these habits if you want to get rich
I graduated from Harvard Business School with a 1.2 GPA.
In hindsight, I’m surprised I didn’t drop out of college because I spent every second daydreaming about becoming a millionaire. And sure enough, I amassed more than ten million dollars aged 23. Yay.
Every day, I receive a lot of emails from people who want to get ridiculously wealthy (like me). They dream about having a ten-bedroom mansion with an outdoor pool. They also think my potty-trained tarantula is impressive.
Anyway, you clicked on this article for a reason. You want to know how I became a millionaire. So, without further delay, I’m going to share the daily habits that enabled me to amass a net worth of $10 million. Hopefully, they’ll make you rich, too.
I Keep My Expenses As High As Possible
Most people will say to keep your expenses lower than your income. But as you can already tell, I’m not like most people. In fact, I’m so far above the norm that I always do the opposite of conventional wisdom. It’s what makes me unique.
Each month, I spend approximately $25,000 on the necessities of life. For example, I hire several personal chefs and butlers to clean the mansion and cater to my every need. Sure, money won’t make you happy. However, it can make you feel relaxed as you don’t have to do the dishes or vacuum dog poop.
It’s also worth mentioning that I’m the CEO of twelve different companies. The reason? I can deduct every single expense from my taxes. So, I can subtract the cost of a first-class plane ticket because I’m a professional aviation blogger with 23 monthly views. I also eat out at fancy restaurants because I run a Substack blog with one subscriber: my mother.
If you want to be a millionaire (like me), act like one. Or, at the very least, be a rich snob who doesn’t want to pay taxes.
I Network With Millionaires And Billionaires
Productivity gurus often recommend networking with strangers on LinkedIn. They’ll discuss the importance of appearing professional, courteous, and respectful of other people’s stupid life choices.
However, I am the antithesis of every productivity guru on Medium because I know how to use big words in a sentence and give advice that’s actually relevant.
Since my father runs the deep state, I take advantage of his CIA connections to network with whoever I please. For example, last week, I met Jeff Bezos for a coffee. We talked about ways to silence employees because Amazon has received lots of bad press regarding workers rights.
Of course, none of those conspiracy theories are true because Amazon is the best company in the world. It provides workers with great benefits and an excellent wage. And, of course, it‘s within my financial interest for journalists to be silenced as I own 3,100 shares.
I have a net worth of over $10 million because I keep my expenses high and network with rich people. Of course, having a large amount of money in your bank account might seem difficult. But I’ve done it. Which means you can, as well.
Want to be notified whenever I publish a new article? Click here.
Important Disclaimer: This article is a joke, fictional, and for entertainment purposes only. Please don’t get offended or take it seriously. Therefore, it should not be considered financial, business, or legal advice.
