Dancingelephantpress | Life Experience | Life | Relationships | Gratitude

“I Have A Good Day With You! Thank You!”

Never thought that could offend someone…

It was such a good Sunday!

I spent this weekend mostly getting my taxes done. I love numbers, so doing taxes are quite enjoyable for me. Plus, it provides an unbiased and fair assessment of my efficiency in doing business. Numbers don’t lie! As much as I wouldn’t always scream with joy, I do appreciate the “truth” as it guides me to “ what I can maintain and what I can do better.”

Between those crunching numbers, I took a break by walking to an Asian supermarket to buy some vegetables, fruits, fresh fish, and maybe some meat. Doing some grocery during the weekend ensures I have enough to cook, at least until Wednesday this week. I know! Plan and plan and plan…

This walking time was also my way of spending quality time alone with my partner. We love spending time walking together while engrossing in spontaneous conversations. And, of course, unplanned arguments sometimes.

Well… the unplanned argument happened! Twice! Not big ones, nevertheless they happened!

Since I do not like to hold anger too long, after a couple of minutes, I talked like nothing had happened. Since he tends to pout longer, it was harder for him to continue talking like no argument had happened.

Well… let’s be fair! He came a long way. It used to be a few days! Now, at least, he could start talking even still reluctantly! I guess my not giving up for twenty years kinda paid off.

Then, we were back with our great time walking, talking, choosing good vegetables and fruits, and on the way back home, we discussed what we would be eating for lunch.

We are in the U.S., and today is the first day of daylight savings time, which means we lose one hour! We didn’t realize that it was 2:00 in the afternoon when we discussed lunch. I guess our body isn’t yet adjusted to the “new” time since we weren’t that hungry.

When we got home, I continued crunching numbers while he prepared lunch. That’s one of the many blessings I have in this relationship. We don’t “divide” our obligations; instead, we “take a turn.” He doesn’t mind cooking, baking, doing laundry, ironing, and cleaning the house.

And didn’t we have a great lunch!! He warmed up some leftover pork chop, fried some green plantains (which the taste was to die for!), and steamed some Taiwanese spinach, green and red bell peppers, and carrots. Yum!!

When we eat together, we make sure none of us has electronic or doing work. We also use this time to talk. Yes, we love talking!

He told me many times, “Before I met you, I seldom talked! I didn’t like to talk!”

And my question to him was always, “Why did you decide to change? I could’ve been the only one who does the talking… I’ll be happier since no one disagrees or interjects my thoughts!”

His response to that joke was, “ Okay! You’ll regret it if one of these days I mute myself.”

He might be right! I might not like it, but looking at the trend, I don’t think that day will ever come!

During lunch, I said, “I have a good day with you! Thank you!”

“What do you mean a good day? We argued twice on the way to the supermarket!” he replied.

“So? Look at us now! We are enjoying food, and we were laughing together a minute ago!” I decided to point out the ‘now.’

“But if I weren’t stupid, we wouldn’t have argued! You are just too kind!” he stayed at the ‘ two hours ago.’

“ Okay, first of all, you weren’t stupid. Not to me. But if you think you were stupid, then it’s up to you. Second of all, my thanking you wasn’t out of pity. And most importantly, a good day with you, at least for me, doesn’t mean only laughing and peace. I’ll be bored to death if our relationship is like that! I enjoyed our arguments as much as laughter, tears, disappointments, and the mundanes. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have stayed with you for twenty years! So, accept the thank you and say, “You’re welcome,” if you can’t say, “I have a good day with you, too!” I stared and replied with a firmer tone.

He was quiet for a good eight minutes, maybe? Quite a while, considering we love to talk nonstop.

“I have a good day with you, too!” he said…

“ Thank you! I appreciate your saying that!” I smiled and took a big bite of steamed vegetables!

“I have a good day with you! Thank you!” A gratitude on my part. Yet, it doesn’t mean others will reciprocate or receive it as one.

As much as I was taken aback by his reaction today, I am grateful it happened. He taught me a life lesson!

Gratitude is subjective! And most of the time, it depends on our within.

When our within is full of peace, sharing and receiving gratitude is easy.

But when our within is in turmoil, sharing and receiving gratitude often isn’t within our realm.

Not that we are rude, not that we are ungrateful.

Maybe, because we can’t see the gratitude and we don’t see the point of gratitude.

Not that I agreed with my partner’s point of view today.

But I can understand him!

I don’t sympathize with him, but I can empathize with him.

These kinds of instances bring life lessons. As much as they can be surprising at times, they are served as both consequences and blessings of being in a relationship and connecting with others.

It gives me a deeper understanding of gratitude, of being grateful…

And I won’t be able to learn it on my own…

I read a fantastic poem about an argument… Dr. Fatima Imam and her fruits…

And for the editors at Dancing Elephants Press, my gratitude…