I Got Back to Dating and I Already Feel Depressed
Don’t blame single ladies for staying single. The market is crazy!
About two weeks ago, my friend teased me for my unflinching desire to remain single and unattached. I reminded her that not too long ago, I had attempted online dating, which she was aware of, but I quit before I could go on the first date.
I didn’t want to sound pessimistic when she insisted I try again. She said I had not given myself the opportunity to get to know the guys who showed interest. And to be honest, I barely made it through ten chats if I’m not mistaken.
According to my friend and the dating analysis, people find love after dating for 134 days, while 32% get into serious relationships after 90 days.
That sounds absurd!
I tried to convince my friend that I’m not emotionally stable to put up with a serious relationship at the moment. To which she replied, “that it is the same song I’ve been singing” since she meet me three years ago.
She thinks I’m self-sabotaging my dating chances, so she practically forced me to go on a date she set up with her brother-in-law.
We had a couple of dates. He was a fun and cheery guy. He’s the goofy kind you call up on a Thursday night to dump your stress on and he’ll immediately make you feel better.
I enjoyed him!
He made me laugh even when I’m pissed. You can try any joke on him, whether it be the stupidest pun ever created, or the dirtiest and he will take it with no offense.
We were almost a power couple until the familiar patterns started to unravel.
Incompetence
Most guys are incompetent and will blame every misfortune they face on their girlfriends. A guy I dated once missed his job interview because he overslept and he blamed that on me.
We weren’t living together so I only came for a visit. That morning I got up early, prepared his coffee, and left a note that I had some pickups I needed to do before going to the office.
I don’t make it my duty to raise a man-child. So things like cleaning, cooking, or grocery are shared equally. He does the cooking since he’s a better cook and eats a lot, like a crazy glutton, but I do the dishes.
Unfortunately, he didn’t cook that morning and he slept early so he could prepare for the interview on time. But instead of the guy admitting he was incompetent, he accused me of not being caring and not having his interest at heart.
He said I was should have woken him up and made sure he was getting ready for the interview before I left. I had no obligation to this guy. We had only been together for barely a month and he already expect me to be his mummy.
Love bombing
It’s true we all crave admiration, but constant praise can make your head spin. If someone’s expressing their undying love to me shortly after meeting them, it’s a potential red flag that his feelings aren’t genuine.
Guys, there is nothing you will say to a thirty-something-year-old woman that she hasn’t heard before. We don’t want you throwing praises about “how we are the perfect being you’ve ever met.”
Some will call you “wifey” and show you off to their friends and family to keep you off track of their deceit.
They love bomb you into rushing things and making big plans for the future. The person who genuinely cares for your will respect your decision and back off if they can’t meet your expectations.
Excessive control
Whoever told men that being a control freak will work for 21st-century women, must be the biggest joker on earth.
Guys, we love you. And yes, we want you to be strong and protective. But what we don’t want is your insensitive and cruel leadership.
Not asking for my consent before diving into my inbox is downright creepy. Guys do this and yet they expect us to stay away from their phones.
Controlling guys are possessing. They will monitor your activities, try to interfere with your independence, and dominate you until they have control of the relationship.
Commitment
One of the main reasons I end my relationships is that the men expect me to be loyal and trusting when they haven’t earned it.
Guys ridiculously assume that while they are still playing the field, hooking up, and going on dates with other girls, we would show the outdated notion of chivalry and sit at home, waiting patiently for their return.
Too bad, I don’t function that way. If you expect me to be committed to you, you have to show me you are committed to me. I prefer casual relationships so I don’t have to deal with their emotional baggage.
If a relationship isn’t exclusive, don’t expect your girlfriend to bear your emotional burden.
If the relationship is just about sex, then just have sex with us, but don’t bring your emotional baggage and false expectations into the ship. The same applies to women.
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