Summary

The author of the article describes their journey from succumbing to societal pressures of comparing themselves to others to finding personal fulfillment by defining success on their own terms.

Abstract

The article outlines the author's struggle with the societal expectation of keeping up with the Joneses, depicted through a cycle of dissatisfaction fueled by social media. The turning point came when the author realized the facade behind the perfect lives portrayed online. This realization led to an 'aha moment' that prompted the author to prioritize authenticity over the need to impress others. The narrative emphasizes the importance of cultivating wealth, happiness, and peace internally rather than seeking external validation. By redefining success and focusing on personal growth and values, the author finds freedom from societal standards and the joy of being true to oneself.

Opinions

The author considers the pursuit of material possessions and social approval to be a toxic habit leading to profound dissatisfaction.
Social media is seen as an illusion, showcasing curated highlights that do not reflect the full truth of people's lives.
The author suggests that the key to authentic living is to give up the compulsion to impress others, as most people are not genuinely invested in our lives.
The article posits that wealth, happiness, and peace are best cultivated quietly, without the need for public recognition or reward.
The author warns against making money the sole focus of life, especially if the motivation is to outdo others, as this can lead to becoming enslaved by the pursuit of wealth.
Personal values and self-improvement are deemed more important than societal standards of success. The author's goal is to become a better version of themselves each day, guided by their own path and principles.

I Gave up Keeping Up With Joneses and Became Who I’m Meant to Be

Focus on your life and pave the way

I found myself in a world constantly bombarded with images of other people’s perfect lives, their shiny possessions, their new house, their new car, their new baby, and their lavish lifestyle.

There was always someone who had more than the previous person.

Worse off, it seemed like there was always someone who had more than me.

Give up the struggle to keep up

At some point, I gave up the struggle of waking up every day just to live on someone else’s account. I had developed a habit of making sure I had just as much, if not more than the glorified reel versions of people on the internet.

The toxicity of this habit hit me when I earned something that would be worthy of appearing on my social reel, but I found myself profoundly dissatisfied with this “achievement.”

What was I living for if not for the approval of others? The approval of people who are more concerned with themselves than truly caring about others?

I couldn’t sustain this lifestyle. I learned that I don’t fit into the mold society tries to bend everyone to, it led me down the path of deeper unhappiness.

The aha moment

Scrolling through my social media feed one night, I experienced a moment in which my vision and mind felt clear for the first time in a long time.

I realized that all the smiling faces and perfectly curated photos were just facades. Even if the smiles were genuine, the stories they were telling were far from the complete truth. Social media gives you the illusion of the truth.

Behind those smiles and perfect moments were people drowning in debt, couples constantly fighting and people losing their sense of self in the pursuit of image.

The freedom of authenticity

Advice for anyone with the desire to pursue a life worth living: give up the need to impress others.

No one is watching that closely, and if they are, they’re not likely doing it as your biggest fan. So, who cares?

Wealth, happiness, and peace are cultivated in silence.

Working on those aspects of my life did not merit photos on the internet. Even if I did want to share those aspects of my life, they would only come from an authentic place. No reward is necessary.

Defining my own success

I recently had a conversation with someone who was bragging about how much money she makes. She felt that she was exceptionally wealthy and was aiming for more wealth.

She knew that going off the standards of the world, there was no limit to how much money she could earn.

There is absolutely no problem with making money, it can be a noble pursuit toward freedom.

The problem arises when your sole focus on making money is to impress others and to make money just to have more than the guy next door. You’ve lost yourself at that point because now you’re a slave to it.

I learned that I had to get real about what my personal values are and the actionable steps I’m going to take to create a life that makes me happy. The goal became trying to become better than who I was the day before, and moving forward on the path set for me and my standards.

Gina Lily is a writer and Behavior Analyst. She’s married and has two dogs, a feisty chihuahua, and a barking dachshund. She loves photography, technology, literature, travel, and discoveries on what it means to be human.

She’s on Instagram: gina_lily & and you can subscribe to receive more of her publications.