I Found Strength Hidden in My Beauty
You can too!
Life is different when we know we are beautiful. Even better, when we find what makes us uniquely attractive.
As a teenager, I was delighted to move around in my high heels shoes of six inches. Pulling the abs in, I deliberately walked with one leg in front of the other in an upright position like a cat woman. The walk ignited my confidence, and I felt at the top of the world.
One fine evening, the excruciating pain in my heels radiated up until the lower back leaving me immobile for the rest of the day. The only sane thing I could do was ditch the high-heels dreams to save my legs.
My heart broke for the first time when the only source of confidence was snatched away from me, crippling my self-esteem.
Life is full of alternatives but no choice -Patrick White.
My choices differentiate me from the rest!
When high-heels became out of reach, I chose wedges 🤪
After the high heels episode, I was able to regain my confidence by connecting with people. It was easy for me to become friends with almost everyone I met. Even with those, I have not met once.
I used to dismiss my inborn qualities [being nice, catering to the audience, reading between the lines, listening intuitively] as people skills.
Until a few years back, a close friend wrote to me saying, “You are the only person in the world, with whom I can be myself. You make me express my feelings without inhibitions.”
This was my holy grail!
I recognised my ability to fulfil the inherent need of self and others to feel loved, belonged and trusted. I have always been an advocate of authenticity. Being comfortable in our own skin.
Sparking meaningful conversations is the secret behind my unbreakable bonds of friendships.
They told you that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. What they failed to tell you is that it is best seen with the eyes closed. what you look like is not important. What is important is who you are inside and the choices you are making in your life -Tiana Tozer.
Nothing unlocks beauty like self-reflection
It was amusing to find an interesting pattern in my approach during my most scary moments. I always dared to do the unexpected.
Scenario 1:
Several years back, I upset the management in my newly joined company by expressing my concern about my role mismatch. I managed to bruise their ego in the process.
They wanted to get rid of me by blaming my performance. I took on the challenge to prove my worth through my work.
In the following month, I worked on a mini-project and developed an automation tool single-handedly. I felt accomplished and was thrilled to see the outcome!
Shortly after my work submission, I received an email from my boss rating my work as poor. I felt broken. How could a manager demoralise someone despite the good work?
That night, I refused to cry because I knew it deep inside, I gave my best. This was someone abusing his power to belittle me, I reminded myself.
I felt nothing but shameful walking into the office the next day. The endless loop of the same question, “what did I do to deserve this treatment?” bothered me. I needed the answer right then and there.
I went to my Manager’s office and asked to have a 1:1 conversation with him. He nodded his head.
I told him right away, “Hey, let’s forget you are my boss, and I am in your team for a moment. Can we have an honest human-to-human conversation?”
He agreed.
Me: “what is the problem you see in me?”
Soaked in disbelief, he responded: “Nothing.”
Me: “What do you really think about my work?”
Him: “I think your work is good. I had some personal issues and was not in the right mood to rate it. I am sorry about it. I am afraid fixing this now will make my boss question my credibility. I don’t know what to do.”
I felt so relieved and happy. The answer regained my hope in humanity.
He could have argued mindlessly or continued playing the blame game. But he chose to tell the truth. And I respected that!
I thanked him and moved to a different project.
After all, life is full of alternatives, right?!
Scenario 2:
A decade ago, my then-boyfriend[now husband] felt low over his parents saying “NO” to our marriage.
The issue was unsettled with so much drama with every passing day.
One evening, as we were conversing on the phone, I promised to be there for him. Before he realised what I meant, I was out his door ringing the bell.
He was in absolute shock, so were his parents. I told them I came to clarify their questions in person, and I did. It was only the beginning.
They are now stuck with my brutal honesty forever! 🤩
Situations like these enable me to evolve as a braver person. I feel confident solving real-life problems without being limited by the theory of consequences!
Encountering my worst fears face-to-face makes me feel beautiful.
It gives me the confidence to walk high without the 6-inch heels.
There is always light. If only we are brave enough to see it. If only we’re brave enough to be it -Amanda Gorman.
What is your hidden beauty? Please share it in the comments.
© Tamil, 2022
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