I Finally Learned What Love Is In A Marriage

It is a hard road but I am glad I am on it

Liberty Forrest quoted Napoleon Hill, “The turning point in the life of those who succeed usually comes at the moment of some crisis, through which they are introduced to their “other selves”.

When I look back, the above statement is so true.

I was single for a long time until the good age of forty-eight I met my wife Gabrielle. She was never in a relationship until we crossed paths.

As a single man, I had no idea what true love is in a relationship. Initially, I thought it was a warm and fuzzy feeling or romance-related. Well, it has an element of that but it is not the whole truth.

When Gabrielle started to get sick and went through numerous strokes over almost six years of our marriage, it was very difficult for me to handle. I questioned many times why these horrible illnesses happened to Gabrielle. Didn’t she suffer enough from her brain cancer when she was a young adult? What am I going to do? How can I help Gabrielle?

The last major stroke happened in February 2023. Last August, I was so stressed and my irritable bowel flared up. I thought I had colon cancer and was very happy to end and wrap it up. It could not get any worse now and I might as well get ready to go to heaven and meet God and ask Him my unanswered questions face to face!

When my health settled and I had a few weeks off from November to December, I had some quiet time to reflect and talk to a few close friends, I began to feel calmer and grounded.

That was my turning point.

A new definition of love emerged.

Love is:

· My father-in-law told me Gabrielle had brain cancer when she was a young adult, they did not expect her to survive. He and my mother-in-law saved up a fund for her funeral. When we decided to get married, he was full of joy. He gladly handed over the funds to contribute to our wedding. He was crying when he walked Gabrielle along the aisle in the church on our wedding day.

· When Gabrielle was sick in the hospital for weeks, she told me not to come to see her while I was working. I knew she missed me she did not want me to get “burnt out”.

· While Gabrielle was lying on the hospital bed, she thought about other patients. When she was capable she would encourage them to hang on.

· Gabrielle’s brother is a big martial man. Whenever he visited Gabrielle he turned into a marshmallow.

· Gabrielle’s sister stopped work for six months last year so she could help me handle her affairs. Between her sister and her parents, they gave Gabrielle and me heaps of support.

· When my brother and sister-in-law from Australia asked me regularly for an update on Gabrielle. They will be visiting again in three weeks.

· My two friends contacted me regularly to check up on me over coffee.

· My running mate rang and dragged me out to train with him so I was not isolated.

· My work team allows me to work flexible hours and encourages me to visit Gabrielle as often as I want to.

· When my church group offered to cook me meals.

Love is more than feelings. It is intentional. It is a decision. It is doing.

Apart from God, I am very grateful for Gabrielle giving me the love that I would never have experienced with another human being. I hope we still have more years on this journey together.

Amazing stories of sea-at-sunrise, a fellow Kiwi, who traveled to China teaching English, and is now living in Australia.