I feel messed up

Summary

The author expresses feelings of chaos and disorganization in their life, struggling with project completion, managing thoughts, and maintaining focus amidst various responsibilities.

Abstract

The author begins by acknowledging their chaotic nature, starting projects but failing to finish them, leading to a sense of frustration and dissatisfaction. They express a desire for change but feel limited in their ability to do so. The author also mentions having numerous ideas that they fear they may never accomplish, despite believing they have the potential to do so with the right tools. They struggle with focus and distraction, attributing this to their chaotic lifestyle. The author also grapples with managing their thoughts, allowing them to pass through their mind to prevent them from becoming overwhelming later. They admit to lacking structure in their life but express a desire to establish it. The author ends by questioning whether it is too late to make these changes at the age of 31.

Bullet points

The author acknowledges their chaotic nature and struggles with project completion.
They express a desire for change but feel limited in their ability to do so.
The author has numerous ideas they fear they may never accomplish.
They struggle with focus and distraction, attributing this to their chaotic lifestyle.
The author allows their thoughts to pass through their mind to prevent them from becoming overwhelming later.
They admit to lacking structure in their life but express a desire to establish it.
The author questions whether it is too late to make these changes at the age of 31.

I feel messed up

Well, let’s say that I am a very chaotic person. I start a project, but I don’t finish it. Then I start something else. And then the first project stays where I left it and I end it later plus I leave the second project where I left it at that time at some moment. This upsets me too much! First of all, I know I am really chaotic. Second of all, I know I have to do something about it, but I also know there is isn’t that much to do about it. And yes, there are many tools (which I tried most of them) to use and get more organised. What else should I do?

This also gives me a messed up feeling. It feels like I have a big rock in my head with too many ideas I think I never will achieve. But deep inside, I also know that I can do it with the right tools. Those tools I never have found yet, but I will in the future. I know that. It’s the focus I need. No distraction I always had. Maybe this is the way I always like but now frustrates me. However, the chaos is my had, too much to do, the children are asking me things I have to answer, my voluntary work… Sometimes it is too much, but I can’t say goodbye to something or a project I truly love. Should I really shift things and projects?

There is also all my thoughts in my head. From things that happened that day, things happened in the past, what I have to do, my children. And so on. But I give those thoughts a chance to go through my head. When you don’t let them go through your head, then there is a chance that it will bother you too much at another time when it will be too late.

So, I can say that I don’t have any structure in my life to hold on to. But I try to fix that. Is it too late in my life as an almost 31-year-old?